Marik's Insane Plot or Bakura gets pissed
by redconvoy
Summary: An insane Malk wants revenge against the Pharaoh for sealing him in the Millennium Rod. Bakura refuses to help since he is content with his own life, but he has to protect Ryou's innocence from the insane Malik. Yuugi and Mokabu are also pawns.
1. Virgins are hard to Cum by

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. This takes place after Yuugi graduates high school.  
  
Note: I know nothing much of Yu-gi-oh except for what I have read of the manga version through Shonen Jump. I cannot digest the cartoon. This is more of an offbeat fic rather than cannon. You may or may not like it. I don't know whether Yami retains his memories, but for the sake of this fic, he does. I portray Bakura as I read him in other fics. I love how people portray him. Malik is just mental.  
  
Prologue  
  
One wish was all it took and Yami had his own body. It was his aibou's decision. While Yuugi went to college, Yami would continue being the King of Games. He made a lot of money, and damn, did he love every moment of it! Of course, he still lived with his Aibou and his grandfather. Where ever his aibou was, he wanted to be. Never had he felt as connected to a soul as he did to his light.  
  
Of course, after he had been separated into the living world, things had gone differently for his aibou. Yami wondered.why were people so fickle? His friends had stopped coming around, but they all gravitated toward the Pharaoh. He wanted nothing to do with them. He never took them up on their offers to go out to the movies or to that nasty burger place. Not without his hikari!  
  
Would one think that Bakura, as much of a miserable person he was, would willingly leave Ryou behind? No. He was too busy trying to get into his pants! Oy! Bakura was known for many things that the Pharaoh had remembered recently. Definitely his heightened sex drive toward any gender was one of them!  
  
Then there was the crazy Malik or Marik or whatever the hell his name was! He had driven his own hikari's soul out and killed his family in order to rule the world! Yami knew he would still try! After all, how many phone calls had he received recently threatening his life that he tactfully ignored? Oh yeah, the latest? Death by watching Hamtaro! Yeesh!  
  
Japan was certainly different from Egypt. There was no desert and the nearest city wasn't thousands of miles away. The pharaoh loved to travel the cities when dueling. He got to meet new people and make new friends. People were so different.  
  
Yami entered the game room of another duel. Some stupid rich teenage brat wanted to battle the King of Games and win in order to impress his father. He had to hand it to the brat, he had a good deck.but not good enough!  
  
"If it isn't Yami Motou. I finally get to battle with you." Of course, Yami was soooooooo tired of these stupid duelists and their talk that sounded worse than some cartoons with bad dialogue. "I have a proposition for you."  
  
Yami just snorted in disgust. Getting the dueling disk on his arm, Yami loaded his cards and then waited for the stupid teen to finish his senseless babble.  
  
"High and mighty aren't we?" The teen asked.  
  
"You watch way too much television. Shut up!" Yami looked the teen in the eyes across from him.  
  
"You may want to hear what I have to say." The blond teen smiled that shit eating grin Yami hated.  
  
"What could you possibly say that could interest me?" Yami was growing tired of this!  
  
"Two words, Yuugi Motou." That made Yami internally flinch, but he didn't let it show on the outside.  
  
"What about him." Yami asked pretending to be disinterested when he actually wanted to know what this punk was up to.  
  
"I want to make the stakes high in this. You can call me Brad by the way." Ugh! BRAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!-Yami thought in disgust. What a name!  
  
"Nice name. Were your parents on something when they named you?" Yami snorted.  
  
"Hah! I see you have a sense of humor!" Brad smiled. "So, here are my terms."  
  
"The terms of the game are in the rule book. I suggest you go back and read it if you have a problem!" Yami interjected.  
  
"No. I want to change them." Brad leaned forward on the console. "You see, I play to win. When I win, I want something from the opponent."  
  
"What does this have to do with Yuugi." Yami demanded a bit more than he should have.  
  
"Well, you seem interested in his welfare. Very well then. If I win, you, the little freak and his grandfather leave the game shop to me. If you win, I do nothing."  
  
"If I win, you play a penalty game for being an asshole." Yami concluded for him.  
"Overtime?" Brad asked.  
  
"No! This isn't hockey or baseball! A penalty game is something totally different that only I play." Yami's grin turned dark. "Ready?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
The game commenced. Of course, as an hour rolled by, and without a strategy of his own, Yami naturally won against the amateur. Distraught by his loss, Brad threw a tantrum of his own.  
  
"Are you done ranting like a child?" Yami sneered.  
  
"No! How dare you! How could you do this to me!" Brad threw his cards everywhere.  
  
"Because you don't know how to play. I am sure the people you played with let you win because of who you are!" Yami put his deck away. "I'm sure your father taught you that you cannot have everything in life go your way."  
  
"I'M RICH!!! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!!" Brad shouted.  
  
"Bad attitude to have. Money doesn't make the man." Yami looked up at the teen. "No matter how rich you are, that's no excuse for having bad manners."  
  
"How would you know!" Brad spat.  
  
"I would know. I'm not going to tell you why." Yami smirked. "I told you, if I won, you would have to play a penalty game."  
  
"What the hell is this penalty game!" Brad demanded.  
  
"Simple. I decide your fate." Brad noticed something glowing on Yami's forehead.  
  
"Wha.what are you!" He demanded.  
  
"Let's just say, I'm someone from the way distant past. Before your civilization emerged, before Christ, before Christianity. I commanded the moon and the sun to rise and fall. Can you guess what I was?" Yami noticed the look of confusion on his face. "I guess not since you only seem to know about fast cars and young ladies. Didn't pay much attention in school did you."  
  
Brad still didn't answer. Yami was having too much fun overloading the teen. He swore he could see smoke coming out of Brad's ears. Wouldn't it be nice if his head exploded and saved Yami the trouble of punishing him for threatening the welfare of his aibou.  
  
"Since your brain seems to be overloaded with too much information at this time, I guess I'll just start the penalty game." The eye on his forehead glowed more. "I reserve death for those who are more deserving. Since you need to learn your lesson to carry on to your next life, this is what I will place on you. Remember that fairy tale of King Midas? Since you think money makes the man, let's see how you react when everything you touch, everything you love, turns to gold." Brad's body glowed in a golden light.  
  
When the light disappeared, Brad snorted in disgust and began to pick up his cards that he threw in a fit of rage. As he touched them, they turned to pure gold. His eyes grew to the size of saucers. This guy was not kidding.  
  
Of course, Brad found the cards turning to gold the most amazing thing that had ever happened. He had no idea what was to come.  
  
"You think this is a punishment? I will be the first person to have golden duel cards!" Brad laughed happily.  
  
"Oh really." Yami drawled. "Guess again, smart ass. Your food, your family, everything you touch will turn to gold. If I were you, I wouldn't touch myself either. You wouldn't want to have a dead weight between your legs get you down now, would you?" Yami smirked as he left the battle field. "Have a nice life."  
  
"YOU THINK THIS IS A PUNISHMENT! HAH!" The stupid teen shouted back.  
  
Yami shook his head in disbelief. This one would take hundreds of years to learn his lesson. All he had to do now was collect his winnings and leave.  
  
"I need a virgin sacrifice!" Malik shouted at Bakura. "Can't you find me one for crying out loud!"  
  
"Read the sign, buddy! It's called "Bondage Bakuras". There ain't gonna be any virgins walking through that door. If there are any virgin sacrifices, it'll be done by me, thank you very much!" Bakura snarled at the crazed Malik.  
  
"I thought you were my ally, Bakura! I want to get that Pharaoh back!" Malik's voice boomed throughout Bakura's office.  
  
Bakura just sat down at his desk, calm, cool and royally pissed off! When was Malik ever going to give up? Maybe if he let the idiot loose on Yami, then he would be sent to the Shadow Realm by the Pharaoh. Then Bakura could get on with his business peacefully.  
  
"It's over, Malik! Get over it and find a hobby! Jerking off is a good one followed by getting a life, a job and possibly getting laid if you don't scare the ladies off!" Bakura criticized.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME, THIEF!!" Malik shouted.  
  
"I call it, like I see it!" Bakura answered back. "Don't call me thief.it'll piss off Ryou and you don't want him to cry now, do you? It's a very traumatic experience that I do not wish to experience again."  
  
"You let your Hikari cry?" Malik laughed. "You're such a loser, Bakura."  
  
"I'm not the one standing in someone's office asking for a virgin sacrifice, BUD!" Bakura stood up in ready to slug the stupid sorcerer. "They don't do stuff like that anymore in this century. Get a gun and just shoot him if you're so hell bent on getting the Pharaoh back for sealing you in the millennium item. I don't think any gods are going to kill him for you if you sacrifice someone unnecessarily. It doesn't work that way and it never has!"  
  
"You question the gods." Malik challenged.  
  
"Have you seen how many religions there are now in this world? We create our own gods. If there is one, he is probably laughing his ass off at us for being so stupid! He has better things to do than worry about what we think or feel! If he let you live, he let Yami and I live. So who are you to question this God or kill Yami? I don't want him dead. I just wanted the damned millennium items! Never got them to rule the world, did I? You see, I saw this sign. It said, you want to rule the world? Go to this place! So I did and it was a business seminar! Hence, here is Bondage Bakuras! While I don't rule the world, I could rule the business world! What do you think of that!" Bakura crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
"I think you use too much bleach in your hair!" Malik shot back.  
  
"Well, you're a natural blond and you act like one too!" Bakura devilishly grinned. "Get with it and get a life, Malik! Your days are over and the items don't work anymore, therefore, you cannot rule the world. Even if you did, no one on this planet would put up with you!"  
  
"You forget, I can control minds!" Malik smirked.  
  
"The weak minded like you." Bakura reminded him. "Some power. Not what I would want. Oh wait, I forgot! The politicians in this world would be powerless against your mind control!"  
  
"See?" Malik cross his arms.  
  
"Don't be so proud of yourself! They weren't intelligent to begin with!" Bakura snorted. "Get out of my office. I am trying to turn over a new leaf. Something you wouldn't understand!"  
  
"Where's the leaf?" Malik scratched his head in confusion.  
  
"Up your ass! Get out!" Bakura pointed toward the door. "While you're at it, go Baker Act your ass into a mental institution!"  
  
Malik's expression of confusion turned to that of anger.not that Bakura cared or anything.  
  
"We'll meet again old' friend." Malik walked out. "I won't forget this."  
  
"I'll try my best to." Bakura shot back. 


	2. Watch out Ryou, Daddy's coming home!

Disclaimer: None of this is mine except for the insane plot and this is not to be taken seriously. Oh yeah, if you are underage or a die-hard fan with no sense of humor, then don't read this. I am writing this is in all good fun. If you are the guy who created Yu-Gi-Oh, don't shoot me please!  
  
ONE  
  
When the hell would he ever stop looking like less than a man? After all, he was 18 years old now and in college. He still had that baby fat on his face and those huge eyes. He had only grown a few inches in the past few years almost being the Pharaoh's height. He had gotten rid of that star shaped hair style, but kept the blond bangs. Yuugi just had a hell of a time straightening it out. As a result, his hair looked longer, but he didn't mind. At least people noticed him more in a positive light.  
  
In High School, Yuugi had been the shrimp and constantly picked on until he solved the puzzle. Then he wished for friends which he got. Last year, in an unselfish act, Yuugi wished his protector to have his life back. His protector had imprisoned his soul in his late teens in the item he possessed and deserved to breathe life again. Of course, the wish he had asked for back then, was broken.  
  
No longer did Honda even consider Yuugi a friend. It was as if he snapped out of a daze as far as the smaller teen was concerned as a person. Anzu had gone off the America, but she was still Yuugi's friend. She just didn't feel as drawn to him as she had in the past. Guess the confident pharaoh was the one she felt strongly for. Jou still came around. His protector had told Yuugi that Jou always liked him and nothing would change that. The elder was just confused about Honda's actions. Ryou was still his friend, but Yuugi hadn't heard much from his except for recently when he asked him for a favor. He wanted Yuugi and Yami to meet his future step mother at the engagement party.  
  
Of course, Yuugi was alone and watching the game shop for his grandfather. It was empty in the early afternoon as usual. School was still in session and it wouldn't be full until almost 5pm. Until then, it was quiet for him to study.  
  
The door chimed as someone entered. Looking up, Yuugi noticed the Pharaoh walking in with a shoulder bag. In the games he called himself "Tutankhamen" which was his original name. To his friends, he just wanted them to call him "Yami". If he had to endure any more "King Tut" jokes, he was going to hurt someone real bad!  
  
"Welcome back Yami." Yuugi greeted. "How did the duel go?"  
  
"I won." He walked toward the younger youth, placing the bag on the counter, opening the top. "The jerk was too overconfident so I made him play a penalty game."  
  
Yuugi's smile faded. He was well acquainted with Yami's "Penalty Games". Why he applied it to the Duel Monster tournaments was beyond him. Yuugi hoped never to be on the receiving end of one of those.  
  
"What did you do?" Yuugi asked a bit squeamish of what the answer would be.  
  
Yami noticed his aibou's face and laughed heartily. The teen did not find his laughing very amusing. He leaned closer to Yami and then asked again.  
  
"What did you do?" Yuugi tried to get the answer out of him.  
  
"N-Nothing serious aibou." Yami calmed down. "I just gave him the Midas Touch. Remember that story you told me about?"  
  
"Why did you do that? It would have been better to kill him instead." Yuugi snorted as he went back to studying.  
  
"I thought I would teach him a lesson about life and how to cherish it a bit more. I don't think he understood. He was so impressed that his cards were turning to gold. I just told him not to touch himself." Yami smirked as he noticed Yuugi studying. "How are you doing in this college you told me about?" He changed the subject.  
  
"I'm doing okay. It's harder than high school though." Yuugi sighed.  
  
"I do not know high school or college. I had private tutors." Yami reached into his bag and took out a glass case and then placed it on the counter. "Thank you for letting me use your cards."  
  
Yuugi looked at the case. The cards rested inside all neat and in order, or so he hoped. He didn't understand why Yami just kept them. It wasn't like he would ever use them again.  
  
"Yami, just keep them. I'm not going to be using them anymore. I told you, I chose college over that." Yuugi pushed the case near the Pharaoh.  
  
"They call for you, you know. You are the only one I know of besides myself that know what the cards really mean to us. I can create a new deck for myself. I want you to have these in case you change your mind one day." Yami smiled as Yuugi sighed.  
  
The teen took a hold of the case sliding it back toward himself. Yami had one hell of a convincing argument. Maybe.  
  
Yami jumped over the glass counter and then grabbed his duffel bag. Tousling his aibou's hair, he went into the residence part of the building.  
  
"Remember we have to go to Ryou's tonight to meet the future step-bitch his father wants to marry." Yami shouted back as Yuugi smiled at the remark.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Night had come and Bakura had one thought in mind.see Ryou. They hadn't talked in a few days and the ex-tomb robber was becoming worried about his aibou. He knew Ryou was having some problems at home with his future step-mother, but Bakura wondered how bad it was.  
  
The last he had heard, the stupid bitch was trying to talk Ryou's father into making the teen move on his own. How could a pre-med student make his own way? Of course, Bakura had stepped in and given Ryou free reign to come into his place of business to do the books at his leisure. He had to make sure his light was being taken care of after all.right?  
  
So, Bakura had come in the best attire he could think of. All leathers, all enough to advertise who he was and what business he was in. Of course, he also hoped to turn on a certain someone and have this person rub their beautiful naked body against his leather clad one while he would squeeze this person's tight firm ass. Oh yeah! Such a delicious thought!  
  
Walking up the stairs of the luxurious town home, a lecherous grin came to the tomb robber. Oh yes! Tonight would be interesting and crazy Malik would have one less virgin to concern himself about. Of course, it would take a lot of begging, pleading and a bit of lying on his part.  
  
Composing his expression to that of someone who would make a good impression, Bakura knocked on the door putting on his best polite grin. Always be in good graces with the father was his motto.  
  
The door opened and someone that Bakura did not recognize opened the door. His grin faded as the male teen raised a brow. Who the hell was this idiot?  
  
"Ryou? Is that you?" The boy asked.  
  
"No, you stupid fucking idiot! I'm Bakura! Let me in! I want to see Ryou!" Bakura demanded.  
  
"Does he know you?" The teen asked.  
  
"Nooooo! He just called Rent-A-Fuck and here I am! Of course he knows who I am! May I come in, or do I have push your sorry ass out of the way!" Bakura seethed.  
  
"C-Come in." The teen stepped away as Bakura stormed past.  
  
Bakura knew where Ryou's room was and needed no directions to get there. When he looked back, the other teen was gone.perhaps hiding in fear. There was no way in hell that kid was related to Ryou. He reeked of impurity. That kid had been around the block and then some a few times!  
  
As Bakura was about to ascend the stairs, he heard a conversation going on in the dining hall. Of course, the decorations did not go unnoticed to Bakura. He knew there was a party going on. What, he didn't know nor did he care. All the thief wanted to do was see his aibou. He stopped though out of curiosity. What was that damn woman up to?  
  
"I want him out tonight." A female voice was heard. "He's old enough and anyway, where is MY son going to sleep? I will not give him some second rate guest room! He deserves better after all he has been through! Your son has had it good! In fact, I don't even want him here! He looks like a damn girl for crying out loud! I don't need my son lusting after some guy or even learning that concept." That made Bakura snort in disgust. "Also, that friend of his! Where the hell did he come from? Prison? I don't care what he does to your son, but I don't want him near mine or in this house! In fact, maybe you should just sever all relations with your son since he had been such a problem in the past and I'm sure that jerk has something to do with it." Bakura growled at this. If murdering wasn't illegal, he would do it right now.  
  
"I just can't sever all ties with my son. He's all I have left." The man meekly responded. "I would never force you to do that with your son."  
  
"I am your family now and so is my son!" She shot back. "I don't want this becoming a problem in the future."  
  
Bakura began to ascend the stairs again. He had heard enough. There were a few words to describe her.whore.bitch.gold digging bitch!!! Of course she would want all ties severed to Ryou. She would inherit the millions with her own son. He would have to do something about that.  
  
Bakura took the long corridor down to Ryou's room and then opened the door. Inside, he found boxes everywhere and the bed stripped bare. Where was he planning on going? The only thing missing in the room was Ryou. Stepping outside the door, he looked up and down the corridor. Where would his aibou go?  
  
"Ryou? Hey Ryou! Where are you?" Bakura called out.  
  
/In the library./ A voice in his mind answered back.  
  
//You have a library? Where the hell is that?//  
  
/Across from you/ Ryou answered back.  
  
Bakura noticed two large doors across the huge corridor and then stepped toward them. He slowly turned the knobs and then walked in. There, curled up in a huge black chair, was Ryou reading a book. He seemed to be at peace, not worrying about his fate. Bakura walked toward his aibou standing beside him, leaning against the huge chair, looking over his shoulder.  
  
"What are you reading?" Bakura questioned. "It looks like a big book."  
  
"It's just something to pass the time." Ryou answered in his British accent.  
  
"I noticed your room was packed up. Where were you planning on going?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Don't know. Don't care." Ryou answered bitterly. "My father certainly doesn't." He closed the book with a loud boom resounding in the air. "I really hate her. I have never hated anyone before I met her. She's from the United States military base where they have residence. She made it a point that she didn't like me."  
  
"Yeah. Maybe 'cause you're prettier than her?" Bakura smirked.  
  
"That isn't funny." Ryou shot back.  
  
"It wasn't meant to be." Bakura took the book out of his aibou's hands and then tossed it aside. "You didn't answer my question to my satisfaction. Where the hell do you think you're going?"  
  
"The nearest shelter after I put everything somewhere in storage." Ryou answered.  
  
"You're coming home with me tonight. You ain't going to no shelter!" Bakura differed, all plans changing in his little mind.  
  
"I don't think that will work out." The light stood up facing his dark half.  
  
"Why wouldn't it." Bakura crossed his arms over his muscular chest. "Who knows you better than me and who knows me better than you."  
  
"The problem is you want more than I am willing to give you." Ryou poked at his chest.  
  
"I'll lay off, but I ain't waiting forever." Bakura shot back. "There's someone dying to kill you over it."  
  
"What do you mean?" Ryou asked.  
  
"Malik has gone crazy and looking for virgins. He wants to summon some great power from beyond to get back at the pharaoh for locking him in the millennium rod." Bakura answered.  
  
Of course Bakura did not expect what came next. Ryou had burst out laughing from Bakura's explanation of why his life was in danger and his purity at stake. Why the hell was his light laughing at him?  
  
"Can't you come up with a better excuse than that?" Ryou contained himself. "Is the next one, your member will shrivel up and die?"  
  
Of course, this did not bode well with Bakura. What did he expect though? It was his own damn fault for trying to get his aibou drunk enough to be loose! It never worked because like himself, Ryou also knew how to hold his liquor! Damn it!  
  
Ryou stopped laughing noticing the expression on Bakura's face. Was he serious? Was his life really in danger? Was Malik or Marik or what ever the hell his name was, insane enough to kill virgins? Was Bakura bi or something?  
  
"You're serious! There is no way in hell you are going to be touching me any time soon!" Ryou protested backing away.  
  
"Well, if you won't let me do the honors, at least let me protect you from the stupid maniac!" Bakura pleaded. "It is my job to protect you, ya know!"  
  
"I know it is, but I just don't trust you. Why can't you be like Yuugi's dark half!" Ryou shot back.  
  
"The stupid pharaoh? Do you really think he's any different from me? He's just being smooth and subtle about it! That light of his is too naïve to notice what's going on." Bakura laughed.  
  
Oh great! 5000 year old horny adolescent men! Just what they needed! Should he warn Yuugi to be careful.oh wait.would Yuugi even believe him? Nope. Damn, Bakura did look good in those leathers.wait.what was he thinking!!! Bad Ryou, bad!!!  
  
"I-I think it's time we head downstairs. My friends will be here soon." Ryou turned away from Bakura avoiding looking him in the eyes.  
  
"Leather turns ya on?" Bakura noticed how Ryou was avoiding look at him.  
  
"SHUT UP!!!" Ryou almost screamed back.  
  
TBC. 


	3. The Insanity, The Bitch and Bakura

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a die hard fan with no sense of humor, don't read this. If you are under 18, you should not be reading this unless you want to face the consequences. I don't want to hear it from your parents! This is all done in fun!  
  
TWO  
  
A dark cloaked figure wanders the streets of Domino in search of easy prey. Never would this figure soil his own hands. No. He would make his mind controlled puppets do it. All he needed were ones that were easy to control.  
  
The dark figure needed virgins and yes, he would take Bakura's little minx away from him! Yuugi was next on his list. He pondered on keeping him around as a spare. Malik felt no one would want to touch the pharaoh's brat. Mokuba was also on his list, but he wondered if sacrificing the Kaiba brat would give Rah indigestion!  
  
Easy prey was just in his path. A gang of lost teenage souls was what he needed. No one would miss them. Their families didn't seem to care where they went if they were out here. Reaching inside his cloak, Malik took out the Millennium Rod and chanted a spell. The lost group of teens stopped their chattering as their eyes went blank, their souls being suppressed.  
  
Satisfied with his work, Malik walked toward the group as they turned to face him. When he was through using them, the coroners would have a field day trying to figure out why they died. His mind control sapped a person's energy which came from their soul.  
  
"I want you punks to bring me back three people. One is Yuugi Motou. The next is Ryou Bakura. The last is Mokuba Kaiba. Bring them to the Domino Museum in the basement. Be aware though. Their guardians are dangerous and if you have to, bring them along." Malik watched as the group of six teens departed. "Just you wait Pharaoh. I will kill you in more ways than one."  
  
Speaking of the Pharaoh..  
  
This was the last time he was going to agree to go anywhere with Yuugi. The poor kid worked himself, burning both ends of the candle just to reward himself with falling asleep on the way to Ryou's house.  
  
Pulling up to the curb, Yami turned off the car. He would have to have a talk with his aibou about taking it easy more. Yuugi could not do full-time college and the damn shop at the same time! His grandfather was going to have to breakdown and hire someone to work in the store!  
  
"Nice car, Tut." Bakura walked up to the car, cigarette in hand, leaning against the passenger side. "What's wrong with the kid?"  
  
"One, get off the car, Bakura. Second, he's burning himself out." Yami answered.  
  
"Life of a college student." Bakura got off the car and then hopped into the backseat of the convertible. "Leather interior! I'm impressed! Nothing less for a Pharaoh, eh?"  
  
"More or less. Use the ashtray!" Yami ordered. "I will not have any ashes in this car!"  
  
"I wouldn't dream of burning up your precious interior." He flicked the ashes in the ash tray in the back. "I can see why you're concerned. Ryou's pre-med and he has no time for a life. Now daddy dearest is kicking him out. Seems the new cunt in town doesn't approve of sweet little Ryou and his girly looks. She's probably jealous."  
  
"His step-mother? Why would she be jealous?" Yami asked.  
  
"You know women. They get jealous if some broad looks better than them. MEOW!!" He chuckled. "Seems they get jealous of pretty looking men too."  
  
"I don't get it." Yami shook his head. "That is the most stupid thing I have ever heard of."  
  
"Well, it gets worse. Daddy is cutting him out of his life and out of his will. Basically, Ryou's mine to worry about. He may be 18, but he has no time for a job and even though he has a scholarship, it doesn't pay for room and board. Bastard! I would live to rip his balls off since they probably fell off when he met that bitch! I would love to kill her for hurting Ryou like this. Her precious little baby boy will be moving into his room. Precious my ass! That kid has been around town and then some. He's done it, he's seen it and he's experienced it. He needs to stop with the innocent act." Bakura wondered why he was even telling Yami this.  
  
"So you'll be taking Ryou in? I never thought you would do something like that." Yami was confused by the Tomb Robber's actions.  
  
"Well, if I hadn't come over tonight, the stupid little shit head would have been in a shelter. He would have never told me and then I would have lost track of him." Bakura sighed. "I don't think I could have lived with that. I turned my life around for him you know. I thought maybe down the road we could have had something. I doubt right now he'll allow it."  
  
"You tried to come on to him, didn't you?" Yami shook his head as Bakura didn't answer. "If you think the world of him, maybe you should try to treat him with a lot more respect."  
  
"Whatever." Bakura put out the cigarette as he leaned toward the front seat. "So, what about you and the shrimp?"  
  
"I'm not you, Bakura. My idea of a future is reclaiming Egypt, getting myself a lovely Nubian Queen by my side and lots of children." Yami stated.  
  
"Would you like a side of Prozac with that?" Bakura snorted. "Get real, Tut! No one is gonna believe you're some 5000 year old Pharaoh coming back to reclaim Egypt. They'll lock you up in the mental institution."  
  
"I know." Yami sighed mournfully.  
  
"Are you waiting for the kid to look like a man?" Bakura kept on jabbing him.  
  
"I don't think of him the way you think of Ryou." Yami wished Bakura would stop.  
  
"Then what do you think of him." Bakura asked.  
  
"Like a younger brother and nothing more." Yami answered. "I'm just really pissed at his grandfather right now. I sometimes wonder what it would be like for him if I never entered into his life."  
  
"Guess what! You'll never have to think of that." Bakura smiled deviously as he leaned toward Yuugi's seat.  
  
"What are you doing?" Yami asked.  
  
"Watch!" His grin became more devious as he moved closer to the sleeping teen, his mouth close to his ear. "I want to fuck your brains out and then leave you dead in a dumpster somewhere!"  
  
"BAKURA!!!" Yami shouted outraged as Yuugi woke up, eyes wide opened, his chest heaving.  
  
"It got him up, didn't it?" He laughed heartily as he collapsed into the back seat. "It's just a joke, pharaoh! Get over it!"  
  
Yuugi managed to calm himself down after realizing it was only Bakura playing a practical joke. His eyes narrowed, angry and wanting to kill the once tomb robber. Taking off his seat belt, he turned around. Bakura stopped laughing at Yuugi's expression. If looks could kill, he'd be dead right now.  
  
"Uh, hey kiddo! It was just a joke!" Bakura laughed uneasily.  
  
"Oh?" Yuugi climbed more into the back seat. "Well, I guess it will be a joke when I RIP YOUR FUCKING LUNGS OUT!!" Yami had to catch a very deranged Yuugi, keeping his light from attacking Bakura.  
  
Yami dragged his aibou into his lap, locking his arms around him. What the hell was wrong with him? Yuugi had been really stressed, but the pharaoh figured it was time to take some action quickly before someone got hurt!  
  
"Calm down! Bakura was only joking, as crude as it was!" He shot a look at the white haired man. "Hikari, you're working too hard and I think maybe we should turn around and go home. When we get home, we're going to have a long talk with your grandfather because you are not acting like yourself."  
  
Yuugi went limp in his arms, the fight leaving his body. Yami was right. He was working too hard. It didn't help that Yami was gone half the time either.  
  
"Sorry." He whispered brokenly.  
  
Bakura managed to get out of the car, avoiding the crazed teen. Thank Rah Yami pulled Yuugi away before any damage was done. There was no way in hell he would let that shrimp get the upper hand. Yami knew Bakura would seriously hurt his hikari if it came down to it.  
  
"Are you coming or are you going home?" Bakura asked. "I need to tell Ryou something."  
  
"Just tell him that I need to get Yuugi home. Send my apologies." Yami forced Yuugi to sit in his own seat.  
  
"If you can get the shrimp rested enough, why don't we meet tomorrow afternoon in the burger joint?" Bakura asked as Yami made an expression of disgust. "Look, I can't walk into a fancy restaurant looking like this! Besides, I like the grease!"  
  
"You have no taste. That's what your problem is!" Yami shook his head. "I'll see you tomorrow. Give Ryou my regrets."  
  
Yami drove off in his shiny new white Mercedes 500S. Bakura whistled lowly, admiring what this world had to offer in technology. He had to get one of those! Who knows, maybe he'd want to impress someone!  
  
Turning back toward the house, Bakura dreaded telling his aibou that his friends were not coming. This was not what Ryou needed right now.  
  
The guests had all arrived. Ryou stayed within the confines of the library, but he knew he had to greet his guests in order to "keep up appearances". Why? Sooner or later they would all find out the truth. The slut that broke up the family because she was bitter over the attention Ryou received from his own father. What a sick woman to be jealous of someone's child.  
  
Strong arms wrapped around Ryou's waist. While this was comforting, if said person did anything they weren't suppose to.  
  
"Hello Bakura." Ryou smiled.  
  
"Hello yourself. Yuugi had a nervous breakdown, so he and the Pharaoh won't be coming." Bakura stated.  
  
"Doesn't matter. I don't want them to meet her anyway. After all, I'm not going to be part of their lives anymore." Ryou almost choked out.  
  
Yep, this was really hurting his aibou and it made Bakura angry. The day of the wedding, oh yeah! The bitch was going to be in for one hell of a surprise! He was sure that Ryou was invited. After all, he was sure that the family wanted to keep up "appearances."  
  
"Hey Ryou, you got a date for the wedding?" Bakura asked.  
  
"No. Why?" The other asked.  
  
"Let me escort you there. After all, you need someone to be there for you." Ryou could not see the devious grin on his dark half. "Think of it this way. You have to keep up appearances for those social snobs, right? I'm sure her brat will have someone there. You shouldn't be denied that."  
  
"I'll talk to my father about it." Ryou sighed as he disentangled himself from Bakura's grasps. "I really don't want to even deal with them right now. I just want to leave and I can't."  
  
"After the party, we'll load your stuff into my car, okay?" Bakura knew what that was on his aibou's mind.  
  
"Your car won't be enough." Ryou sat in the chair, his head bowed down. "I have to rent a truck."  
  
"Would you want to move the stuff in another room and then get it tomorrow?" Bakura asked as he leaned against the window. "At least bring some clothing tonight."  
  
"Sure." Ryou sighed as he got off the chair.  
  
"I also wanted to ask you something else." Ryou wondered if it would be something intelligent!  
  
"Yes Bakura." He dreaded what the white haired demon was going to ask him.  
  
"When you move into my house, well, one day can you dress up as a uniformed school girl?" He asked as his eyes lit up and his lecherous grin widened.  
  
All was quiet in the quaint rich neighborhood. Not one sound could be heard. Not one dog would bark.  
  
"REAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" A scream tore through the silence of the quaint rich neighborhood.  
  
"Maybe next time you have a thought, you won't have to think so HARD about it!" Ryou left a moaning Bakura on the floor with his hands covering his recently abused groin.  
  
TBC.heh 


	4. Bakura's Vodka binge and Seto's Obsessio...

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a die hard fan with no sense of humor, don't read this. If you are under 18, you should not be reading this unless you want to face the consequences. I don't want to hear it from your parents! This is all done in fun! Mister Good Wrench belongs to General Motors.  
  
THREE  
  
Pulling into the wide alley behind the store, Yami stopped the car and then sighed. What a night! Yuugi desperately needed a life! Nothing but work and school. What about a girlfriend? What about Anzu? Sure, she was in America, but didn't they have some sort of relationship before she left?  
  
/No, Yami. / A voice answered his silent question. /It was you she was in love with. /  
  
Yami was startled to hear Yuugi's voice in his head. He thought he had hidden those thoughts.  
  
//Aibou, are you awake? //  
  
/Now I am. / Yuugi opened his eyes. /Sorry. /  
  
//No. You don't have to be. I'm sorry that things didn't work out between you two. //  
  
"I guess it wasn't meant to be." Yuugi sighed inwardly as he got out of the car. "I'm tired, I'm going to bed. See you in the morning, Yami." He shut the door to the Mercedes.  
  
"Good night, Aibou." Yami watched the tired young man walk up the stairs into the back of the building.  
  
Yami slowly got out of his car. Closing his door, he began the process of putting on the hood in order to secure the car. He wished sometimes he would have gotten a hard top, but they were few in number and they didn't have the one that he liked.  
  
"What is wrong with my grandson? He didn't even acknowledge my greeting." Solomon Motou disturbed his thoughts.  
  
"Perhaps you and I should discuss it." Yami walked up the stairs. "In the kitchen if you would." He walked past the old man.  
  
Solomon followed the young pharaoh. No matter how much they tried, they could never get Yami to stop his formal speech. It unnerved people at times.  
  
"Yuugi has been stressed out. He fell asleep on the way to Ryou's house. He almost attacked my friend who played a prank on him and believe me, Bakura could kill a person." He motioned for Solomon to take a seat, never letting him get a word in as of yet until he deemed it so. "Yuugi cannot manage your shop and expect to pass his college courses at the same time." He held his hand up before the old man could protest. "I'll take care of his expenses. It's not like I don't have my own source of money." Solomon closed his mouth. "You need to hire someone to manage your store when you cannot. Your grandson is tired and it's only a matter of time before his grades start to drop. Do you want that to happen?"  
  
"No." Solomon sighed. "I'll hire someone. I didn't know it was getting that bad. He's lucky to have someone like you look out for him."  
  
"Thank you. I'll see you in the morning." Yami walked out of the kitchen feeling better about the situation.  
  
Yami would tell his Aibou tomorrow about the good news. At least some of the youth's burden would be alleviated.  
  
The Vodka was great. Bakura had drunk the bottle down in a few slugs. He may have a solid body now thanks to Yugi's wish for his Yami to be solid, but he knew how to hold his liquor. He also had to numb the aching feeling between his legs after Ryou had slammed him there with his knee!  
  
Vodka was the strongest thing he had ever tasted. Bakura wondered why the Pharaoh did not have this good stuff in his private stash in the palace way back when. Heh! He would have enjoyed it!  
  
Ryou, Ryou, Ryou, oh where his little albino? His tempting little angel! Oh how Bakura wished to worship that luscious body in every way possible! Oh yeah! One day Ryou!-Bakura thought as he drank down the rest of the bottle. First things first! Get rid of the insane mother fucker Malik!  
  
One thing Bakura loved was to watch Ryou in action. Finally he spotted his lovely angel talking amongst the guests, smiling and carrying on a conversation. It was good to see Ryou actually happy for once. Seeing his family must have brought that out of him. Of course, Bakura could never relate. His family was killed.  
  
Of course the Tomb Robber would have to punish the cunt marrying his gutless father! Maybe a nice itch in an intimate area would suffice. It would be hell on their sex life. Heh!  
  
It was about time that Bakura needed to join his light. Putting down the bottle on a snoozing old man's head, he walked toward that which made him put his life back into perspective.whatever that perspective was. Slipping an arm around his aibou's shoulder, Ryou almost jumped out of his skin at the contact.  
  
Two young women turned toward the muscular form of Bakura as a devious smile graced his face. Right now, the lecherous Tomb Robber was thinking of a foursome. The two girls weren't too bad! A bag over one of their heads would suffice!  
  
"So what are you lovely ladies doing here? What relation are you to the bride or groom?" Bakura asked putting on the charm.  
  
"We're Ryou's cousins." The blond haired one replied. "Who are you?"  
  
"His other half. Wanna do a four-OOF!" Ryou elbowed Bakura in his stomach before he could finish that thought.  
  
"If you will excuse us!" Ryou grabbed Bakura by the arm and dragged him into his father's study.  
  
Making Bakura sit in a chair doubled over, Ryou walked toward the door and then shut it, locking it so no one would walk in on their conversation. Leaning his forehead against the door, the albino wondered how he was going to handle his darker half. What was it going to take to get him to behave?  
  
'I can't take this anymore. I can't take my life like this. I can't take someone wanting me just for one thing! I can't stand the fact that I'm still alive while my mother and sister are dead!! Why? Life was just more unbearable after that! Maybe if I make Bakura really angry.' Ryou stopped that train of thought.  
  
"First my nuts, and then my stomach. What's next?" Bakura choked out.  
  
Ryou didn't answer him. He didn't even turn to look at him. The albino could feel his eyes boring on his back. What could he say that would make Bakura see what he was doing? What was the point? The Tomb Robber would never change and anyway, it was time to end this.painfully.  
  
"You have nothing to say? I have plenty to say to you." Bakura started. "If you really think I wanted to be with those two, you're sadly mistaken. In fact, one of them needs to put a bag over her head." He heard Ryou giggle a bit at that. "I am what I am, Ryou, and I can't change that. You need to let go of some of that class you have and live a little. I'm not saying that you and I should be alike, but I already turned my life around and you were the inspiration for that."  
  
"I shouldn't have to be any kind of inspiration for you to do anything with your life." Ryou answered back.  
  
"I didn't ask you to feel anything about it." Bakura shot back.  
  
"You brought it up." Ryou reminded him, turning from the door to face his other half. "In fact, why should I be any inspiration to you at all? You always thought I was weak. You always hated me. All of a sudden, you take in an interest in my life and then try to rescue me from my family. Why? Is it guilt? If it is, Bakura, I want no part of it!" Ryou shot at him. "I'll just go to a shelter tonight. You can live your own life."  
  
"If I didn't genuinely care about you, I wouldn't be here!" Bakura wondered if Ryou hit his head on the way to the room and scattered his brain! "If I felt guilt, which I don't, I wouldn't be trying to get into your pants every second!"  
  
That made the albino blush. That surely got him out of his depressed state. He knew subconsciously he was trying to push Bakura into killing him by picking a fight. It was what he wanted. His mother and sister were dead. Why was he left behind only to be hurt even more by living? Why?  
  
/Stop that! / A voice shouted in his head starting Ryou out of his dark thoughts. /No matter how hard you try, I'm not going to give you your wish! What would your mother think! What would your sister think! They may be gone, but if they were watching? You'd break their hearts! /  
  
Ryou looked away from his dark half. He was right. The albino gasped as he felt two strong arms pull him into a gentle embrace. Had he really changed this once dangerous person? Slowly, Ryou moved his arms around Bakura's body burying his head into that strong shoulder. Quietly, he cried and Bakura could only hold him tighter, his left hand soothing him gently.  
  
"Weren't you supposed to go to that British pansy's party?" Honda asked Jounouchi as the blond finished fixing a car.  
  
"I had to work overtime tonight and will you PLEASE." He turned around facing his friend. ".stop insulting everyone! What the fuck is your goddamned problem! First you have a problem with Yuugi and now Ryou? Is Anzu or Yami next? Or maybe Mai? Or me for that matter! Oh, and let's not forget Mister Kaiba and his little brother!"  
  
"I'm sure you think about Mister CEO all the time!" Honda scoffed.  
  
"Fuck you, Honda! Get lost!" Jounouchi turned away from him continuing to work on another broken down car in the garage. "Go home, okay? When you decide to act like a human being, then you can rattle my cage!"  
  
"I'm just making a point." Honda sighed.  
  
"You're acting like an asshole." Jounouchi pointed out. "If you say that infront of Yami or Bakura, you're going to wind up dead. You know how they feel about their other selves."  
  
"I know how Bakura feels about his other self quite clearly! It makes me sick! As far as Yami goes." Honda was cut off by the blond.  
  
"Shut up and go home! I don't want to hear it!" Jounouchi groaned. "Get a girlfriend or something! Just go away!"  
  
"Look man, we've been friends before Yuugi entered into all of our lives. You two became like brothers. What's the deal!" Honda demanded.  
  
"The deal is you're a jealous prick and you're weirding me out! Now go away!" Jounouchi whirled around with a wrench in hand. "If you don't go, you're gonna have a date with Mister Good Wrench up your ass!"  
  
"I would do as the puppy says." Another voice intervened. "You sound stupid and your conversation is insipid! If you want to know the details on everyone's lives, I suggest you talk to them! Now leave!" Seto ordered as he walked into the garage.  
  
"Oh great! Not you too." Jounouchi groaned as he sat down on the front end of the car he was working on. "Go away!"  
  
"Hey! I was here first you snob!" Honda shot back.  
  
"The only reason you even hang out with the Mutt anymore is to get closer to his sister! She's with someone else! Get over it!" Seto grinned despite himself.  
  
Honda stormed out without another word. Seto nipped the whole thing in the bud. He never really liked the punk in the first place. Why did Jounouchi hang out with the loser in the first place!  
  
"Please just shoot me and get it over with!" Jounouchi shook his tiredly. "I have worked two jobs in twenty hours and I'm not in the mood for anyone else right now."  
  
"I came here for an oil change. I gave the driver the night off and he informed me of this." Seto replied.  
  
"Come back in the morning. I'm working overtime as it is to get these pieces of shit done. I don't know why the owners of these cars don't junk 'em!" Jounouchi got off the car, grabbed a towel and began to wipe his hands off.  
  
"As long as they pay the repair bill, what do you care?" Seto shot back. "I need the oil change now."  
  
"I'm sorry, but it's too late." Jounouchi walked past the CEO. "I told you to bring the car back tomorrow morning. Akira will work on it."  
  
"I don't want some stranger working on my car. I want you to do it. I'll pay you double." Seto offered.  
  
"You really are a persistent pain in the ass." The blond faced him. "You know the damn engine ain't gonna explode if I don't do it here and now! What the hell are you really here for!"  
  
"The truth?" Kaiba asked.  
  
"No, I want you to lie! Of course I want the truth!" Jounouchi exploded.  
  
"You know that your sister has been seeing my brother, right?" Seto started.  
  
"Yeah. He's the only one who's worth her time to me. What's your point?" The blond asked.  
  
"She's worried about you and she doesn't know how to approach you about it." Seto finished.  
  
"So why isn't your brother here instead of you? I know he's not afraid to talk to me!" Jounouchi crossed his arms over his slight muscular chest.  
  
"Because this is not something a child should be discussing with an adult." Seto growled as he walked closer to the blond. "Your sister is worried that you only work to support your dead beat father! She's afraid you are not going to get anywhere in life while he's alive and when he dies, it will be too late."  
  
"Well, the divorce court split us up, so my dad was my problem since I was 15. The bastard gets drunk all the time! What am I suppose to do! Live on the streets? My mom is not going to take me in, God knows why! I don't think I've done anything to make her hate me!" Jounouchi started. "Going to college like the rest of you is out of the damned question! So tell me, great Kaiba, what the fuck am I suppose to do!"  
  
"Let your father hit rock bottom and let him get help." Seto calmly replied. "Come live with me. This isn't any kind of life. I have plenty of room to spare."  
  
"Thanks, but no thanks! I don't accept charity." Jounouchi turned away from the CEO.  
  
"Don't think of this as charity. Think of this as a fresh start. You're young. You don't have a life. You don't even have a girlfriend for crying out loud! The only people you associate with are too busy to even condescend to talk to you." Seto pointed out. "May I go on?"  
  
"I don't want to have to owe anyone anything." Jou whispered.  
  
"I don't need you to owe me anything. Just keep one job and go to school. You're not a stupid person, Jou." Seto felt the hair on the back of his neck stand.  
  
Quickly drawing his gun, he stood in front of Jounouchi. There was someone there. Someone was in the shadows of the garage. Being who he was, Seto was always on edge. He had a lot of enemies and any friends he made could be used against him in the end. Everyone wondered why he was so cold. This was the reason. His one weakness standing behind him.  
  
"Come out! Face me like a man or whatever the hell you are!" Seto demanded.  
  
A slim figure holding a golden scepter walked out of the shadows. His blond hair stood out from his dark complexion. He had a lithe build and eye make up that looked Egyptian. There were three bangles around his neck and decorative earrings hanging from his lobes.  
  
"Halloween is over you idiot and the shop is closed! Leave!" Seto demanded.  
  
"Is that the way to greet one of the Tomb Protectors? I have a job for you High Priest." Marik started.  
  
"Look you mental case, I told the pharaoh, if he really is one, and the walking gonad that I don't believe in that shit I saw in the museum about a past life with you three idiots! If I did have one, I hope it was a peaceful one on the other side of this planet!" Seto growled.  
  
"Oh, but it is true! You see, I need your powers to do a little ritual in order to get back the Pharaoh for many crimes against humanity that his father caused and the fact he sealed me in a millennium item. I'm surprised Bakura doesn't try to get him back." Marik started.  
  
"I think Bakura is happy chasing Ryou!" Seto shot back. "Why don't you just get a hobby or something?"  
  
"I'M TIRED OF EVERYONE TELLING ME THAT!!! FIRST BAKURA, THAN THE STRANGER ON THE STREET I KILLED AND THEN YOU!!! I AM SANE!!! DO YOU HEAR ME??? I AM SANE!!!!" Marik shouted on the top of his lungs.  
  
"I think the whole planet heard you." Seto smirked, the gun still trained on the insane man.  
  
"SHUT UP!!!!" Marik shouted back.  
  
"Have you ever thought about seeing a psychologist for your mental problem! I think shock therapy by electrocution would benefit you!" Seto was goading the insane man.  
  
"What the fuck are you doing?" Jounouchi whispered.  
  
"Creating an excuse to shoot him." Seto hissed back. "Just keep quiet mutt!"  
  
"You call me that again and you'll have to have my foot surgically removed from your ass!" Jounouchi growled back.  
  
"I'll ignore that." Seto kept his attention on Marik. "What is it going to be, freak! A bullet in the head or are you going to leave?"  
  
"I'll be back and then you will remember your place!" Marik walked out.  
  
"IT'LL BE YOU WHO NEEDS TO LEARN HIS PLACE!!!" Seto shouted back. "YOU COME NEAR ME AGAIN AND I'LL KILL YOU!!!"  
  
Jounouchi raised a brow. Why was Seto so angry? Not making a sound, Jou watched Seto place the gun back inside his concealed holster. So, the CEO carried a concealed weapon.  
  
"Ummm.are you okay?" Jounouchi had no idea on what to say.  
  
Of course Seto did not respond. It was as if he was deep in thought. Something deep inside wanted him to remember who he was in a previous life. Something told him it was important that he know. His eyes narrowed.  
  
'Why do they want me to remember my previous life? What did I do that was so important? What role did they play? Were they my friends, my enemies? Maybe I should just kill the stupid freak and worry about it later!' Kaiba thought. 'I'll ask the stupid pharaoh about it.'  
  
"Kaiba, you're freaking me out man." Jounouchi tried to get his attention. "Hey, WAKE UP!!" He practically shouted.  
  
'The freak is back!' Thought Kaiba as he instantly reacted to the voice.  
  
The blond didn't see it coming. A hand came out and smacked his hard across the face sending him flying to the ground. Jounouchi landed head first on the concrete floor seeing stars. Why the hell did he do that??  
  
Seto snapped out of his thoughts to see what he had done. He just heard someone trying to get his attention. Thinking that it was Marik, he lashed out without thinking about it. He quickly got his wits about him and then walked toward the fallen man.  
  
"Are you okay, mutt?" Kaiba crouched down next to Jounouchi, his arm lacing underneath the blonde's back helping him to sit up. "Do you have a headache? Is your vision okay?"  
  
"What the fuck was that for?" Jounouchi growled, his hand coming in contact with his own forehead.  
  
"I thought it was him again." Seto confessed.  
  
"Or maybe you're looking for an excuse to smack me around." The blond snapped.  
  
"I wouldn't waste my time." Seto grabbed Jou's hand and forced him to stand up.  
  
The move set the blond off balance and Kaiba had to grab him before he could fall. He really needed a hospital.  
  
"We're going to the hospital. I think you hit your thick skull too hard!" Seto growled.  
  
"Ha, ha! Funny! You're such a comedian! Don't quit your day job!" Jounouchi spat. "I have to shut the place down."  
  
"Give me the keys." Seto insisted as the blond reached into his pocket and handed the CEO the keys.  
  
"This has been the worst night of my life!" Jounouchi growled as they headed for the door.  
  
TBC 


	5. Barbie Dolls and Dumb Blonds!

CHAPTER FOUR  
  
Things had gone down hill after the party was over. All the guests had left, and the small family had kept up appearances so the rest of the family would not know what was happening. Ryou had to restrain Bakura from killing the bitch, at the same time, he had to keep his wits about him. There was no way in hell Ryou was going to breakdown in front of anyone.  
  
Finding his way back from the kitchen with an ice filled pitcher of water and a glass, Ryou walked back to the room that Bakura had given him. The albino was glad he didn't have to sleep in Bakura's bed! The pervert did not hide his feelings or his intentions too well. Guess that was the best and worst thing Ryou liked about him. Not too many people were like that.maybe that was a good thing!  
  
Ryou remembered his father telling him he was disowned. His father was then spewing such hatred, that Ryou felt his heart shatter into a million pieces, the tears though, being held at bay. He wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction! Bakura wanted to kill him, but Ryou wouldn't let him. It would be pure hell to live with the stupid bitch as it was!  
  
He hated his son.  
  
He hated the fact he hardly looked masculine.  
  
He hated the fact he was alive while his wife and daughter were dead.  
  
He hated the fact that Bakura had corrupted his son even further.  
  
Ryou had left without another word, dragging a resisting Bakura behind him yelling and cursing at them until the door was shut. The Tomb Robber wanted to castrate his father and shove his balls down his throat! That was a tempting site, but he didn't want Bakura to waste his time in jail for it.  
  
Ryou wondered if his father felt like that all along. If he had, why didn't he say anything? His thoughts were cut off as he heard some moans coming from Bakura's room. Slowly walking up to the closed door, Ryou placed his ear against it.  
  
"Ryou." He heard Bakura's voice call out to him.  
  
Great! Now what did he want? Damn the mind link! Ryou slowly opened the door with his body since Bakura left it a bit opened. His eyes widened at the site on the bed.  
  
Sheets were half way down Bakura's dark muscled toned bare chest.his well toned arms above his head and his white hair stuck to his face as a sheen of sweat covered his body.was Bakura running a fever???  
  
"Oooooooooh Ryou, you feel sooooooo good." Okay, this was getting scary!  
  
Ryou's eyes narrowed as he slowly approached the bed. With the pitcher of water still in hand, the albino sat down on the bed as he watched Bakura's expression.  
  
"Oh Bakura." Ryou started.  
  
"Yessssssss?" He moaned.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Ryou was going to play this for what it was worth!  
  
"Uh.I think I can't think right now...can't we talk after I'm finished?" Bakura started.  
  
"Finished with what!" Ryou demanded.  
  
"Don't be so naïve, Ryou! You know." Bakura was still talking in his sleep.  
  
"Know what." The albino was getting really pissed at this point.  
  
"The horizontal mambo." A smile graced the Tomb Robber's face.  
  
Eyes as wide as saucers, Ryou couldn't help but stare for the moment at Bakura. HE was the object of his wet dreams???  
  
That did it! That was his resolve to taken action! Eyes narrowing, Ryou poured the ice cold water on Bakura's crotch.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Bakura screamed as he woke up panting. "MY BALLS!!! MY BALLS!! THEY'RE THE SIZE OF RAISINS!!!" He shot up out of bed and noticed Ryou sitting right there. "What the fuck did you do that for!!!?"  
  
"The horizontal mambo?" Ryou growled.  
  
"What? That was really you talking?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Yes! I heard you call my name! I thought there was something wrong with you!" Ryou started. "I didn't imagine it was me in your dreams!"  
  
"Do you really think that I can control what I dream of? So what if it was you I was dreaming of! Aren't you even flattered?" Bakura demanded.  
  
"Are you even for real!" Ryou demanded.  
  
"I know you are!" Bakura grinned deviously as he got out of bed and then walked toward the bathroom. "Thanks for the wake up call! Now I have to put on another pair of bottoms just to cream those!"  
  
Ugh! Didn't he ever stop? Why did Bakura have to be so vile? Why couldn't he be like Yami? Oh wait! Didn't Bakura say something about the Pharaoh's little crush on Yuugi or was that a lie?  
  
"It wasn't true!" A voice answered his unspoken thought.  
  
"That wasn't for you to hear!" Ryou retorted.  
  
"Too bad! Use better shields next time!" Bakura walked out of the bathroom. "Sorry if I offend you, but you need to lighten up. As far as the pharaoh is concerned, he's straight as an arrow. He also needs a good dose of Prozac!" He sat on the bed next to Ryou. "He wants to rule Egypt, have a wife and a few million children! One brat is enough!"  
  
"What about Yuugi?" Ryou asked.  
  
"He'll probably keep the shrimp around for entertainment!" Bakura snorted. "I swear, the squirt will never grow, never get laid! For crying out loud, look at his grandfather! One look at him and the chics will go screaming away from Yuugi!"  
  
"That's mean." Ryou stated.  
  
"It's the truth! There's a difference." Bakura shot back.  
  
"What about my father!" Ryou demanded.  
  
"What about him? I wouldn't fuck him on a good day!" Bakura wondered where this conversation was going. "No Ryou, you don't look like him! You look like your mom. She was hot!"  
  
"You don't even know my mother!" Ryou became angry.  
  
"Don't get your nuts in a twist! We shared the same body once, remember? I snuck into your soul room! I was a thief you know! I can break into anything!" Bakura crossed his arms across his muscular chest. "That's not all I discovered! Heh!"  
  
"WHAT!!!" Ryou demanded.  
  
"You played with Barbie dolls!" Bakura taunted in a sing song voice.  
  
"I DID NOT!!!" Ryou shouted.  
  
"Did so!"  
  
"DID NOT!!!"  
  
"Aww come on! I saw you play Barbie with your sister! She had a Barbie and you had a Ken doll." Bakura teased noticing the dark expression in Ryou's eyes. "I mean really! Why would they create a male doll with no dick! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Barbie stole his balls!!!"  
  
This was really REALLY embarrassing! How could he had forgotten that episode. His mom MADE him play that with her! It wasn't like he WANTED to play. He thought it would never come back to haunt him. He was wrong.  
  
"Are you finished?" Ryou asked flatly.  
  
"Uh.no! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" Bakura persisted.  
  
Ryou just picked up one of the pillows and then swatted Bakura across the head with it. The elder man just fell on the floor still laughing at Ryou's expense. What did the albino expect!  
  
"Hey Ryou! You wanna experiment with Ken and see what's really going on down there?" Bakura gasped out.  
  
"Oh Bakura, would you like to find out how it is to BE like Ken?!" Ryou growled.  
  
"You have a sense of humor too now!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.heh.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Bakura was practically in tears.  
  
"Just when I think you're mature, you prove me wrong. I'm going to bed." Ryou got up off the bed. "By the way Bakura, my mother MADE me play Barbie with my sister." He walked out as Bakura laughed even harder.  
  
"Wait!" Bakura practically sat up, calming himself down. "Ryou! Don't-Don't be mad!"  
  
The morning came and Yami knocked on Yuugi's door. All he got was a "go away". It's was 10am and they had to meet the others at 11:30am.  
  
"Get up Aibou! We're going to be late!" Yami scolded.  
  
"So what!" Came back the response.  
  
Sighing, Yami wondered what he was going to do. Leaning his head against the door, a thought popped into his mind. When Yuugi was fifteen, if Yami wouldn't talk to him, he would start singing that blasted song that never ended! Ugh! Whoever made up the song should have been sent to the Shadow Realm a long time ago!  
  
"Oh Yuuuuuuugi." Yami sing-songed. "If you don't get up, I'll sing that song that never ends.off key!"  
  
"NO!!!" The door flew opened with a wide eyed Yuugi.  
  
"Oh? So, you can dish the torture, but you cannot stand it yourself?" Yami crossed his arms over his muscular chest.  
  
"I am sooooooo sorry I ever taught you that!" Yuugi growled walking past him.  
  
"We're meeting Bakura and Ryou at the burger place." Yami talked to the closed door of the bathroom.  
  
"Bring the ant-acids!" Yuugi shouted back. "The grease in those burgers are enough to do an oil change in your car!"  
  
"Be ready by eleven. Do you want to call Jou and ask him to come?" Yami asked loudly.  
  
"Yeah sure." Came back the response as the shower was turned on.  
  
Shaking his head, Yami walked back downstairs. He heard Ji-chan talking to someone downstairs. He hoped it was someone he was going to hire for the shop. Walking toward the door of the game shop, Yami spotted some pimpled face geek of a kid with his hat on backwards. By Ra! Who let this creature exist? Yuugi never had that kind of skin!  
  
Backing away from the site that was slowly killing his appetite, Yami walked toward the phone to call Jounouchi. Dialing the number, the phone began to ring on the otherside and a gruff voice answered.  
  
"Hello?" It asked flatly.  
  
"My I speak to Jounouchi?" Yami asked.  
  
"You could if he was here! The little Son of a Bitch never came back last night! Who are you anyway? One of his fag friends? If you see him, tell him I'm going to kick that shit out of that ungrateful little fucker!" The phone slammed down in Yami's ears.  
  
Slowly putting the phone down with wide eyes, Yami wondered where Jounouchi could be. Did he sleep at the shop again? At that moment, the phone rang.  
  
Slowly and steadily, Yami answered the phone. One trauma today was enough! Putting the receiver by his ear, he answered.  
  
"Hello?" Was all he said.  
  
"Yami! Where's Yuugi! I need to talk to him!" Yami held the phone a few inches away from his ear. 'I am going to go deaf today.' He thought.  
  
Placing the phone back to his ear, he answered. "Jou, talk a little lower okay? I can hear you fine. Yuugi is in the shower. Why don't you tell me what's wrong since we both share a link!" He grounded out.  
  
"Uh, oh yeah! I forgot!" By Rah was Jounouchi a true blond! "I am at Kaiba's mansion. I'll be here for now on."  
  
"Does he have you on a leash or something?" Yami couldn't resist as he heard Yuugi laugh through their link.  
  
"HA! HA! Funny! No! He doesn't! My sister got so concerned about me, that she and Kaiba decided it was in my best interest to have them take over my life!" He growled.  
  
"Oh and supporting your dead beat father is a better life?" Yami asked.  
  
"No." Jou answered exasperated.  
  
"If you ask me, I think you were offered a chance at a better life. I would take it." Besides, Seto would straighten him out!  
  
"I guess." Jou sounded defeated. "They want me to go to school. I don't think I' smart enough."  
  
"Why would you say that?" Yami asked feeling Yuugi's concern through the link. "I think you're.well."  
  
/Don't you even say it! / Yuugi's voice warned on the other end.  
  
//STUPID!!! // Came back the response through the link //I didn't say it out loud! I thought it! He is a blond in every respect of the word! His sister is just dumb as he is! In fact, his mother and father should have never gotten together to breed more stupid kids! If he wasn't practically like your brother, I would have sent his stupid ass to the Shadow Realm! // And Yuugi thought Bakura was bad!  
  
/Yami, he's not stupid! Just encourage him! / Yuugi prodded.  
  
//Is stupidity no longer a word? // Yami demanded. "You can do it Jou! Remember, it's your life. You can do much more than being a mechanic. //Maybe a male stripper. // A devious smile crossed his face.  
  
/Yami! /Yuugi yelled through the mind link.  
  
//Sorry Aibou! // Yami answered sweetly through the link.  
  
"You're right! I'm going back to school! Maybe I'll get my GED!" Yami smacked his own forehead.  
  
"Didn't you graduate?" Yami demanded.  
  
"Nope. I got suspended towards the end of the year for beating up the hall monitor! They told me to go to summer school, but my dad wouldn't have it!" Maybe Jou really wasn't all the dumb.his father was an idiot for keeping him from reaching his full potential.  
  
"I didn't know that. No wonder I didn't see you at the graduation." Yami stated.  
  
/Ask him if he wants to go to the burger place! /Yuugi interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"You want to join me, Yuugi, Bakura and Ryou at the burger place?" Yami asked.  
  
"Sure! I'll be there!" Jounouchi answered as the phone clicked.  
  
"Uh.be there at 11:30? Oh well." Yami hung the phone up.  
  
"So when is he coming?" Yuugi walked in drying his long hair.  
  
"He is going to meet us there I guess. He hung up before I could ask him anything." Yami turned toward his light. "You look like a drowned rat, Aibou."  
  
"Thanks for the observation." Yuugi wrapped his head in the towel. "I'll be down in a few minutes." He walked away.  
  
"It was just a joke.by Rah, I have got to get him to relax!' Yami growled.  
  
Tbc.heh 


	6. Bunny Ryou and Mary Sue gets hers!

CHAPTER FIVE  
  
Bakura loved having Ryou on his arm. It made him feel powerful. It made him feel.horny.  
  
Anyway, they entered the burger place, the Rah Awful burger place, although Bakura loved the grease! Ryou always ate a salad which made Bakura cringe! Lettuce was for rabbits, not humans! The boy needed to gain some weight! He was so damn thin! He was underweight as it was!  
  
"Sit here." He gently shoved Ryou in a booth. "I'll get us some REAL food for a change! You are not eating rabbit food today!"  
  
"Bakura! I don't like the stuff here!" Ryou protested.  
  
"I'll get you something healthy! You're too thin!" He walked away as the albino sighed.  
  
Bakura was taking too much of an interest in his dietary habits. Was he too thin? Ryou didn't think he was that thin! Bakura practically shoved eggs and toast down his throat this morning. No cereal!  
  
Right now Ryou wished to be a rabbit. At least they ate healthy.  
  
//A rabbit? I could arrange that! // A voice leered in his head. //Maybe a cute little Playboy bunny outfit.hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? //  
  
/BAKURA!!!! / Ryou yelled back through the link almost making Bakura fall over in pain. /Get your mind out of the gutter for once! /  
  
//Uh.no?// the voice came back as Ryou sighed.  
  
Figues! Just when Ryou thought Bakura was becoming a gentleman.sigh. Staring at the door hoping that Yuugi and Yami would come in, Ryou sighed even more. They weren't coming.Yuugi must be having a nervous breakdown again!  
  
Of course Yami had tuned Yuugi out since they left the shop. He had no idea what his light was saying. It wasn't that he didn't care.okay.he really didn't care to hear all about Anzu's wonderful life in this place called America. He really REALLY found her annoying!  
  
Rah must have smiled upon him as Burger World was fast approaching. He nodded appropriately to whatever Yuugi was saying and then managed to park the car in a spot where his Benz wouldn't get hit.  
  
Yuugi quickly jumped out of the car, his monologue stopping a while ago. Why did Bakura like this Rah awful place!  
  
Yuugi had gone in first anxious to meet Ryou. The pharaoh guessed getting a good night's sleep did something for his aibou's mood. 'reminder to self.get a new name! Yami is awful!'  
  
Slowly walking into the dreadful "Grease Pit of Doom", Yami spotted Bakura in line. He was suspiciously calm for someone who did not have any patience. He walked over to the Tomb Robber much to the consternation of the other people in line.  
  
"HEY!! GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE!!" The guy behind him yelled before Yami could greet Bakura.  
  
"Fuck off you peasant!" The Pharaoh shot back as he turned around.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!!!" The guy behind him yelled.  
  
"He said fuck off you asshole before we both wipe the floor with you and then send you to the Shadow Realm!" Bakura sized up the guy with a switch blade pointed under the idiot's chin.  
  
"Hey! I'm cool!" Bakura deviously grinned at the beads of sweat coming from the stupid mortal.  
  
Putting his switch blade away, Bakura faced away from his recent almost victim. Things he did for friends.yeesh.Ryou was really rubbing off on him.  
  
"So, have you burned up any escaped death row inmates lately?" Bakura figured to really scare the people around them.  
  
"Not lately. Couldn't find any." Yami answered as the people behind them began to back away. "Can't give Burger World a bad rep you know.millions served, one inmate burned?"  
  
"Yup! Next it will be asshole customers who have a problem with people cutting in line! Now that would be something I would pay to see!" The line cleared out. "Heh! Works every time!" Bakura grinned in triumph as Yami grinned deviously also.  
  
Ryou watched with wide eyes as the line cleared outside. The sounds of cars slamming shut and then tires screeching away astounded him. Did those two really scare the customers that much??  
  
/Bakura, why did you do that? / Ryou asked.  
  
//The sooner we get our order, the sooner I could put my hand down your pants! Heh! // Came back the answer.  
  
/BAKURA!!! /Ryou shouted back as the elder man shot back erotic images that made Ryou blush. /I hate you. I really REALLY hate you! /  
  
//You looooooooooooooooooove me and you know it! // Bakura laughed.  
  
/Shut up before I give you another reminder of how painful thinking like that is! / The albino threatened as Bakura gulped.  
  
Oh yeah! Forgot about that! Bakura seriously considered wearing a cup so Ryou couldn't slam his nuts in anymore. He was sure that the Bakura line was at an end. No more dreams of little demons like himself running around. Heh. His own army from Hell! He would lead his evil minions as they would take over the world! Yeah right.  
  
Bakura knew Ryou had him wrapped around his little finger.he had to find that finger and jinx it fast! It was those damn doe like eyes! So big, so green, so beautiful! Reminded him of the emeralds he stole once. That face! That lovely feminine looking face! That hair! What the hell were his parents on when he was conceived??  
  
"SIR!!! Can I take your order please!" A voice shouted into Bakura's thoughts.  
  
Okay, this pimpled face punk was gonna die a horrible death! Getting in the kid's face.but not too close in fear of catching the epidemic, Bakura bared his teeth.  
  
"Do that again and I'll rip your throat out!" Bakura hissed as he backed away. "I want a number 12 and SUPERSIZE IT and I want LOTS of GREASE on the fries! I also need a damned chicken sandwich, broiled, not fried, and a nice bottle of water to go with it! Oh yeah, the rabbit wants his side salad with it and the dressing better be vinaigrette!" Bakura thundered making the boy back away.  
  
"Y-Yes sir." He replied as he punched up the order.  
  
Yuugi and Ryou talked about the usual stuff going on in their lives, except Ryou had held some things back. There was no way he was going to have his friends deal with his problems further.  
  
"I SAID EXTRA GREASE YOU PIMPLED FACED GEEK!" They both cringed when they heard that.  
  
"Why does Bakura like grease so much?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"I just don't stay in the same room with him after he eats it!" Ryou shook his head. "I have got to break him of that. He's not immortal anymore. He's going to give himself a heart attack! I'm surprised he hasn't gained anything from it!"  
  
"Let him have his fun! He hasn't been alive that long to even be concerned about that!" Ryou turned toward Yuugi with a bored expression.  
  
"Despite it all, you still are not on the same page with the rest of us, are you." Ryou raised a brow, his chin resting on the palm of his right hand. "You think being young means you're indestructible? I don't think so." Ryou sat straight up. "You still have to watch out for yourself and still eat healthy!"  
  
"We can't all be cute little rabbits like you!" Bakura sat down and placed the tray between himself and Ryou. "Here is your salad; here is your water, your fancy dressing and your chicken sandwich!" He placed the items before Ryou as his eyes widened. "What?"  
  
"Chicken? You got me a chicken sandwich? A poor little chicken died to be on this thing!" Ryou started as Bakura groaned.  
  
"Chickens are dumb domesticated animals. They were dumb domesticated animals 5000 years ago and they still are the same dumb domesticated animals today! I don't see much evolution going on for you to feel guilty over! Just eat it! You need to grow!" Bakura pointed out.  
  
"Okay." Ryou gave in.  
  
Yami walked toward the table and then placed the tray in front of Yuugi. Yami only sat down, not wanting anything from that Rah Forsaken place!  
  
"On a diet or something?" Bakura commented.  
  
"You couldn't pay me to eat anything in this place!" Yami wrinkled his nose in disgust. "How you guys eat this crap is beyond me."  
  
"Very easily! I put it in my mouth, I bite a piece off and I swallow it!" Bakura stated. "You should try it sometime."  
  
"No thanks." Yami looked away.  
  
"You eat at home right? What's the difference?" Bakura asked.  
  
"The difference is I know who cooked it." Yami stated. "I prefer better places than this!"  
  
"Excuse me you royal pain in the ass, but I don't like those places!" Bakura shot back.  
  
"Can you two talk civilly to each other?" Ryou interrupted. "I don't feel like breaking up a fight."  
  
"Speaking of that, how did it go last night?" Yami asked.  
  
"My father disowned me. I am officially orphaned." Ryou stated without emotion which shook Bakura to the core. "Still have to keep up appearances and all. You know how that is, right Yami?"  
  
"No, I don't know how that is. What the hell are you talking about?" Yami crossed his arms over his muscular chest.  
  
"Pretend things are okay when they aren't. Even in your rule as Pharaoh, you must have had to do that." Ryou pointed out.  
  
"My father did, I didn't." Yami corrected him. "I didn't believe in it. I didn't like him anyway."  
  
"You didn't?" Ryou was surprised. "Why on Earth not?"  
  
"He was a terrible ruler. He killed people for no reason and when it came my turn to rule, I had a hell of a time with it. Even my own damn Priest Seth turned against me!" Yami huffed. "I wanted to rule peacefully. It took me a couple of years to get everyone's trust and then build towards some kind of peaceful society. Then things started to happen and then." He trailed off.  
  
"You got trapped in the puzzle somehow?" Ryou finished. "How did Bakura wind up in the Ring?"  
  
"I had him trapped in there for reasons I am not going to discuss." Yami glared at Bakura. "Since he has turned his life around, I don't see any reason to bring up his past."  
  
"And I'm glad you didn't." Bakura shot back.  
  
"Anyway, Ryou, maybe you should talk to your father and see if you two can reconcile. There is no reason for you two to be fighting." Yami pointed out.  
  
"I am not going to be the one to make the first move. He wanted it this way. After all, I disgust him. He doesn't approve of Bakura. He's sorry he ever gave me that ring.he's sorry that I was ever born. He doesn't even like the way I look. I look like a girl!" Ryou stated picking at the lettuce.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with the way you look." Yami countered.  
  
"Damn straight!" Bakura agreed.  
  
"Get your mind out of the gutter for two seconds, tomb robber!" Yami snapped at Bakura, then turning his attention toward Ryou. "Reconciliation is out then?"  
  
"I don't care anymore to be around him and his new wife. She got what she wanted and he was stupid enough to fall for it. I wouldn't be surprised if he winds up dead soon." Ryou sighed. "She's after the money."  
  
"Women do that?" Yami asked.  
  
"As many pleasure slaves as you had, did they fuck you out of love, or did they fuck you because you were the Prince?" Bakura shot at him. "How many of those women dreamed to be your Queen thinking they were different somehow? They didn't want to be your Queen because they loved you! No! They wanted the prestige! You knew it too! It's no different today!"  
  
"I never had pleasure slaves. My father did. He thought I was too young." Yami countered.  
  
"What the hell did he give you then? Toys? You mean to tell me, you never got laid and you were the Prince of Egypt for Rah's sake?!" Bakura thundered.  
  
"What is your point?" Yami asked.  
  
"Your father was a selfish bastard, that's what!" Bakura pointed out.  
  
"You need to tell me that? I knew." Yami stated as Yuugi kept on eating ignoring of everything going on. "So, this woman that Ryou's father is marrying wishes to gain prestige and his money? Isn't she afraid of Karma?"  
  
"I don't think she believes in it." Ryou sighed. "Frankly, some people never get theirs in the end."  
  
Bakura raised a brow at this. Oh, the bitch was going to get it at the end all right if he had anything to do with it!  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't say that." Bakura grinned in spite of himself.  
  
Yami raised a brow. Oh, he knew the Tomb Robber was after the step- bitch. For once, not even the Pharaoh was going to interfere. Let Bakura have his fun and let it all out for Ryou. Rah knows they didn't need the gentle albino (gentle.oy!) going off the deep end.  
  
"Hey guys!" Yami almost fell out of the booth hearing Jou's loud voice. "What did I miss?"  
  
"Your mother blew me. That's what you missed!" Bakura snorted.  
  
"Ask if that hurts man! It doesn't!" Jou grabbed a chair and put it in front of the table in the booth, turning it around, leaning his head on his arms on the top. "So, really, what did I miss?"  
  
"Nothing much." Yami answered.  
  
"Oh, if you count scaring half the customers out of here, Bakura threatening the poor guy at the register and the history of chicken as nothing much, then nothing happened." Ryou snorted in disgust.  
  
"Cool!" The blond smiled. "Anyone up to going to the arcade?"  
  
"No!" Ryou, Bakura and Yami said in unison.  
  
"I'll go!" Yuugi piped up.  
  
'Figures!' Yami thought.  
  
"After all, we are friends, and maybe we should all go. Anyway." Yuugi started.  
  
"Oh shut up!" Yami groaned as he shut his eyes, squeezing his fingers against his temples. "Anzu is no longer here and I don't want to hear the nauseating friendship speech! If I have to hear it again I am going to throw you off a bridge!" He shot a dangerous look at Yuugi. "When we had to share a body, I had to plug my ears every time you guys got nauseatingly sappy. Now I just don't want to hear it anymore! Don't you guys even know how to be teenagers?! Normal teenagers go out, get drunk, and crash their parent's car! They go to parties and sneak out at night to do it! You guys wouldn't know fun if it smacked you across the face!" Yami thundered. "You know what I did when I was a teen? I snuck into my parent's private stash of good booze and drank it! I stole a few chariots and tortured some of the guards for fun! I snuck out at night and joined some of my friends for a nice round of looting! Now that's living!"  
  
"In all that time, you never got laid?" Bakura asked.  
  
"HI EVERYONE!!" A high piercing voice interrupted their conversation.  
  
"What the fuck." Bakura started as everyone looked toward the perky pink haired girl with big blue eyes and a very obscene looking outfit.  
  
"Hi everyone! I'm the new girl in Domino and I came here to change all of your lives!!" She exclaimed cheerily.  
  
"Unless you're Julia Roberts, don't rattle my cage!" Bakura shot back.  
  
"Silly silly Bakura! I am Mary Sue! I know all about all of you." Her eyes were sparkling.  
  
"She's scaring me. Somebody make her go away!" Bakura began to cower in fear.  
  
"I'm going to change all your lives for the better. After this, you will all like me and if something happens to me, you will all be sooooooo sad." Rah, what drama.yech!  
  
"You want to put that to the test?" Yami challenged as the golden third eye appeared on his forehead. "You have three seconds to leave, you shallow twit, before I kill you!" He got up from the booth and approached the vapid girl.  
  
"Oh! But you're supposed to like meeeeeeeee!" She whined, her hands on her hips and her foot stomping on the ground.  
  
"I don't like you!" Yami stated as the girl's eyes began to water.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! You hate me!!!! YOU ALL HATE ME!!!!" She cried making Yami, Bakura and Ryou cover their ears. "That's it! I'm going to the Gundam Wing universe! At least I can change their lives for the better."  
  
"If Heero Yuy doesn't shoot you first!" Bakura laughed back.  
  
"Very funny! I am better than Relena, or Hilde, or that scary girl Dorothy!" She huffed as she walked out. "I'LL BE DUO MAXWELL'S GIRLFRIEND!!"  
  
"HE'S REALLY A GIRL!!!" Bakura shouted as everyone looked at him. "What? She bared her breasts to Heero!"  
  
"You're thinking of that movie, Just One of the Guys!" Ryou drawled.  
  
"Oh yeah." Bakura banged his head on the table. TBC.  
  
Note: Remember, this is a spoof or sorts! I had just had to make fun of the friendship thing and the Mary Sue thing. I see too much of it in fandom.  
  
The girl is fashioned a bit after Amy Rose in Sonic the Hedgehog.  
  
Bakura: Could I meet Dorothy? I like scary women!  
  
Ryou: NO!!!!!!!!!! (Hits Bakura over the head with a baseball bat used in the last Marlins' game) 


	7. Bakura gets Grease and Yami's trippin!

SIX  
  
Yuugi had left the burger place with Jou in a hurry for the arcade before Yami lost his temper. Jou was his target. Of course, Bakura and Ryou were left dealing with a temperamental Pharaoh.  
  
"Okay Pharaoh! Calm down! Your other self is gone and he's walking the dog!" Bakura smirked as Yami continued to glare at the door as if he stared hard enough, it would shatter. "Hey your highness, how about a threesome with me and Ryou!"  
  
"BAKURA!!" Ryou shouted in anger, getting Yami's attention.  
  
"Do you think maybe you could show more respect toward Ryou?" Yami questioned. "I think we've discussed this before like last night??"  
  
"I remember. I was trying to get your attention, although the thought is pretty." Bakura started.  
  
"Don't EVEN finish that THOUGHT!!" Ryou warned.  
  
"You really have problems Bakura! Is that all you ever think about?" Yami demanded.  
  
"Uh, let me think..yup!" Bakura grinned proudly. "Oh, and my club." He looked at his wrist watch. ".speaking of which, I have to get there and do the payroll. Unfortunately, slavery is illegal these days. Gotta pay the wenches what they're worth."  
  
"Bakura, eat what you call food first and then let's go over there." Ryou sighed.  
  
"Oh yeah! GREASE!!!" Bakura dug into his food as Ryou's face almost turned green.  
  
Marik was dissatisfied with the work of his mindless slaves. They still hadn't found the three he wanted. Walking toward his intended destination, he found one of the three he wanted to kidnap.  
  
Mokuba Kaiba was a notorious little monster who had his own fan following. They would meet near the docks in the abandoned warehouse playing the latest game. Now it was Capsule Monsters. How that game survived was beyond Marik.  
  
"I WIN AGAIN!!!" An arrogant voice sounded.  
  
"Damn Mokuba, you keep winning every time!" One of the kiss asses stated.  
  
"You're great Mokuba!" Another voice sounded.  
  
Marik followed the voices to their source and found a group of boys surrounding a makeshift table. On one end was Mokuba and the other was some poor kid who was dragged in. Of course, the kid was probably going to get the shit kicked out of him.  
  
Marik began to slowly clap in sarcasm as the group grew silent. Walking toward the table, the Tomb Protector looked down at the victim and noticed how the kid trembled. The Egyptian stopped clapping. His person was intimidating. He looked more imposing, his hair more in spikes, his eyes more narrow and his expression more severe.  
  
"Leave." He ordered the kid as he quickly got up and ran out.  
  
Unfortunately, the other kids ran out as well leaving poor Mokuba to deal with the crazed Marik.  
  
"YOU TRAITORS!!! COME BACK HERE!!!" Mokuba shouted.  
  
"I would worry about yourself if I were you." Marik warned as he approached the child.  
  
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!!? MY BIG BROTHER IS SETO KAIBA!!!! IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ME." Marik grabbed the little big mouth up by the front of his shirt dangling him in the air close to his face.  
  
"I could care less who your big brother is. I need you to lure him to me. I originally wanted your stupid little self to sacrifice to Rah, but I think he would get indigestion from your corrupt little soul! I guess I'll just have to sacrifice the Pharaoh's brat like I originally planned to!" Marik growled.  
  
"DON'T YOU DARE HURT YUUGI!!! HE'S MY FRIEND!!!" Mokuba shouted kicking in the air.  
  
"SHUT UP!!!" Marik shook him roughly. "I'll do what I damn please! You are coming with me and then I'll contact your stupid brother and give him an ultimatum."  
  
"What is that!" Mokuba demanded.  
  
"You'll see." Marik grinned the grin that Mokuba did not like.  
  
The pharaoh had left the grease pit. After witnessing the "slamming of the nuts" administered by Ryou to Bakura, he figured to leave before things got even uglier.Bakura asking Ryou for forgiveness. Yami could not witness a man begging to his love like that. It was undignified!  
  
Oh yeah, he knew the man was in love with his light. Ryou had him literally wrapped around his little finger. Bakura would eat dirt if Ryou asked him. Of course, Yami hoped the albino would not go that far. Why oh why did Bakura insist on acting like a letch in front of his light like that?  
  
Yami figured to let his anger subside toward Jou and join the two at the arcade. Besides, he wanted to see Yuugi home safe. He may have grown, but he was still a bit short and defenseless.  
  
Walking into the darkened arcade place, Yami looked around carefully for his Aibou. There seemed to be a sea of children and teens a like in this place. Where were the parents? Did they not care about their little darlings??  
  
Walking further inside, Yami spotted some stupid overgrown idiot picking on some kid. He had the kid by the scruff of his collar practically shaking him. Of course, the idiot was bigger and yeah, he had the definition of a tough guy. Picking on the weak was a sign of weakness itself.  
  
"You think you're so great, Motou! How about I kick your dueling ass into next week!" Oh that did it!  
  
Yami walked up behind the stupid idiot and tapped him on the shoulder. The big dolt dropped Yuugi and then turned to face a very pissed off Pharaoh.  
  
"What the hell do you want?" The jerk asked.  
  
"I am the great Yami Motou! You're picking on the wrong person, peasant!" The bronzed muscled pharaoh answered back, eyes defiant.  
  
"Then who is he?" The guy pointed toward a confused Yuugi.  
  
"The last person you will ever touch!" Yami answered grabbing the guy's arm and then breaking it with ease, twisting it behind his back, forcing him to the floor.  
  
The man shrieked in agony as everyone else backed off. There was no way in hell they were going to jump in and help the guy.  
  
Satisfied with his work, the Pharaoh leaned over the guy and then whispered into his ear, a devious smirk on his face. "You ever come near him again or even think about him, you will be sent to a place where Hades couldn't even rival." He let go of the guy's unnaturally bent arm and then stood up.  
  
Looking down at Yuugi, the Pharaoh stretched out a hand toward his light. Yuugi took it wincing as he stood up. He was hurt?? Without asking, Yami made his light lean into him as he helped him to a table in the arcade. The next person he was going to break was Jounouchi! Where the hell was he when all this was happening?  
  
"Where the hell is Jounouchi!" Yami growled, gently depositing Yuugi in a seat.  
  
"I don't know." Yuugi admitted. "The last I saw him, he disappeared somewhere. Why?"  
  
"Why wasn't he with you!" Yami got in his face, his features furious.  
  
"He was meeting Mai here. I don't know where they went." Yuugi became a bit fearful of his dark half.  
  
"I'm not mad at you, little one. I am just concerned about who your friends really are!" Yami noticed the fear in his eyes which turned to fury the next instant.  
  
"I AM NOT A CHILD ANYMORE!!!" He shouted back. "I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!!!"  
  
"BE THAT AS IT MAY, YOU BELONG TO ME!!" The dark skinned man shouted back.  
  
Everyone stopped to stare at the two. Yuugi's expression was priceless at that comment. It was one that said.what the hell are you talking about!  
  
"Don't give me that look, Aibou! You know what I mean!" He growled as he turned toward everyone. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL STARING AT, YOU BASTARDS!! I AM PHARAOH!!! I CLAIM WHAT IS MINE AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, KISS MY DARK EGYPTIAN ASS!!" He walked away from a shocked Yuugi.  
  
Jounouchi had worshipped Mai from afar and was shocked when she returned his feelings when he turned 18. She was the wet dream of every man that knew her from the dueling tournaments and she belonged to Jounouchi. She felt so good to him, her curvy body being felt up by his skilled fingers, his body flushed against hers, feeling her breasts press against his own chest. Gods, he wished he could take her right there.  
  
"God, I love you." Jounouchi whispered as they broke for air, his forehead leaning against hers.  
  
"I love you too." She whispered back as they renewed the hungry kiss.  
  
"JOUNOUCHI!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!!" An enraged voice made the two part again.  
  
"SHIT!!! It's that fucking psychotic Pharaoh! Yuugi must have gotten the shit kicked out of him again!" Jou straightened up as Mai did the same.  
  
"Why is it your concern?" Mai asked. "Yuugi can take care of himself, can't he?"  
  
"Not without the royal pain in the ass possessing him." Jou answered.  
  
Yami made his presence known. Grabbing Jounouchi by the collar of his jacket, he slammed the blond against the wall making him cry out in pain. The Pharaoh was trained to fight and defend himself.  
  
"Where the hell were you when Yuugi was attacked?" Yami growled.  
  
"And why is that my problem? He's old enough to take care of himself. I am sure he told you that already!" Jounouchi pointed out.  
  
Of course.yes, Yuugi had told him the same thing. Yami had no retort, nothing to shout back. He was just frustrated his Aibou kept getting pounded. It was like he had "punching bag" written on him.  
  
"You're right." Yami conceded, letting Jounouchi go. "I just get tired of seeing people hurting him all of the time."  
  
"I could understand that. I didn't like it either, but there is a time where he is going to have to defend himself." Jou pointed out.  
  
"Then I'll have to be the one to do it for him." Yami walked away from the two. "Carry on."  
  
"Gee thanks! YOU RUINED THE MOOD YA KNOW!!!" Jou shouted after him.  
  
"Speak for yourself!" Mai grabbed him by the shoulders and then got him back into the mood.  
  
Jou's brain went on overload as Mai steamed up the kiss a bit, pressing her body against his and getting more physical than before.  
  
He was never so embarrassed in all his life. People were still giving Yuugi looks as they passed by. The teen figured to just sit there and wait for Yami to come back with what ever part of Jou he had. It wasn't his friend's fault after all. Why couldn't the Pharaoh see that? Why couldn't the bronzed man let him be his own person?  
  
Spotting the Pharaoh in the arcade, the bronzed man walked back toward Yuugi. His expression did not convey anger, it conveyed regret and confusion. What had happened with his confrontation with Jou?  
  
Taking a seat, the Pharaoh could only gather his thoughts as he stared at the table surface. There was no way he was going to beg forgiveness from his light. He was Pharaoh! (Arrogant ain't he!)  
  
"Did you find Jou?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"I found him. I found Mai and I found she is very well endowed." Yami flushed as Yuugi raised an eye brow. "WHY THE HELL IS SHE WITH HIM!!"  
  
Ooooookay! This was getting interesting! Did Yami forget what happened earlier? Oh well, the talk he had rehearsed in his head may not happen.  
  
"She likes him?" Yuugi reminded his dark self.  
  
"I am the Pharaoh!" Yami started.  
  
"You WERE the Pharaoh." Yuugi corrected.  
  
"Still! I'm royalty for Rah's sake and some peasant gets a girl like that and not me? WHAT CAN HE OFFER HER THAT I CAN'T!!?" Yami demanded.  
  
"Yami, women want more than just money and power." Yuugi reminded him.  
  
"You're right! I'll have someone construct a huge palace somewhere and it'll be bigger than Kaiba's mansion!" Yami brightened as Yuugi smacked his own forehead.  
  
"NO!! That's not what I had in mind!" Yuugi shot back. "Why don't you stop being such an arrogant prick for five minutes and work on your personality? You have to stop with this "I'm God and the rest of you are peasants!" attitude! Women want to be romanced and treated like they're the only thing that matters!" Some women were slowly approaching Yuugi enamored by his words.  
  
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY AIBOU!!" Yami shouted at the teenage girls as they fled for their lives.  
  
"Stop scaring them away please? Do you know hard it is to get a date these days?" Yuugi reminded him.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with you!" Yami pointed out. "Now, my Aibou, are you going to teach me how to woo women?"  
  
"Like I have any experience!" Yuugi shot back. "Didn't you even have a wife back in ancient Egypt?"  
  
"I killed her." Yami crossed his arms over his leather clad muscular chest. "She was a nagging bitch! Besides, she never wanted to have sex! She always had a headache!"  
  
"Um, Yami, you can't kill your wife these days. It's illegal." Yuugi pointed out.  
  
"I know that. Do you know something? She said she was a virgin! I found out she had done the entire village where she came from, the entire Egyptian army and my high priests! Even the old man Shimon!" Yami growled.  
  
"Maybe you're not ready for this, Yami." Yuugi tried to get off the subject.  
  
"Do you know how that feels?" Yami was still in his trip down memory lane.  
  
"Nope." Yuugi gave up sinking into his seat.  
  
"She did everyone and she refused to be with me? I was the Pharaoh for crying out loud! It wasn't like I was a wrinkled mess of an old man! I was young, I was virile and I was and still am handsome! She made a fool of me!" Yami thundered.  
  
"Someone please shoot me." Yuugi whispered to himself.  
  
"I know what I'm gonna do! I'll find her reincarnation and then get my revenge on her. How hard could that be?" Yami asked. "How many people are on this planet?"  
  
"Over a good few billion." Yuugi answered.  
  
"I'll use the Millennium Puzzle! It'll find her!" Yami answered himself.  
  
"What's the point? She won't remember." Yuugi sighed. "Let it go!"  
  
"That reminds me, I still am not finished with you!" Yami sat down and got into Yuugi's face. "I had a talk with Jou, and yes, he did remind me that you are old enough to take care of yourself. The fact remains is that you and I are joined at the soul and I'll be damned if I'll let anything happen to you! Got that? I am aware you are not a child, but I am tired of people treating you as if they were worth no more than camel spit! You are part of me and that makes you better than everyone else on this planet, you understand? We were a whole soul once! You are stuck with me in this life time until the next when we fuse into one again. SO DEAL WITH IT!!"  
  
"Fine." Yuugi conceded. What was the point of arguing with himself?  
  
TBC. 


	8. Ryou's Tears and Yami's New Fetish!

SEVEN  
  
It had been hours since he and Bakura had left the "Grease Pit". While Ryou was doing the books and making out the pay checks, Bakura was cleaning up the floor while blasting some obnoxious music! The worst part was, he was singing with it.  
  
"I'm too sexy for my looooooooooove! Too sexy for my looooooooooooooooove." Ryou shook his head hearing Bakura's exaggerated take on the song. "Too sexy for my cat.too sexy for my cat, in the microwave." Ryou tuned the rest of his rendition out.  
  
At that moment, the phone rang. Ryou groaned dreading the call that one of the dancers would be out sick. Bakura was less than pleased when one of the "wenches" was out sick. Pressing the button on the cordless phone, Ryou answered the phone.  
  
"Bondage Bakura's, Ryou Bakura speaking." Ryou sighed hating having to say the first part!  
  
"Son? This is your father." Oh no! Not now!-Ryou thought as he leaned on one of his hands, his fingers taking a grip of a lock of his white hair.  
  
"Hello father." Ryou found himself saying rather flatly. "What more could I do or say to you." He deserved that.  
  
"Ryou, I know we didn't part on the best of terms." His father started.  
  
"That's the understatement of the Century!" Ryou shot back.  
  
"I just wanted you to know that I want you at the wedding, but I don't want that guy with you." He stated.  
  
"He's coming whether you like it or not. After all, FATHER, we have to keep up appearances, don't we!" Ryou reminded him. "After the wedding, you won't see or hear from me again."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous Ryou!" His father started. "We still have to face our family at certain times. We cannot afford to drift apart."  
  
"If you remember correctly, you didn't exactly want me around anymore!" Ryou pointed out.  
  
"Be that as it may, we still have to be a family somehow and that hoodlum is not going to be part of it!" His father spat back.  
  
"That HOODLUM cares for me more than you do right now!" Ryou shot back. "He has every right to be anywhere I am. If it weren't for him, I would be in a shelter right now!"  
  
"Be that as it may, he is still not part of this family! He is the reason you almost destroyed your life!" His father argued back.  
  
"How about this! After the wedding reception, just tell them at the next reunion that I died in some accident!" Ryou practically shouted.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
Bakura turned off the music after mopping up the entire floor. He then heard a conversation going on in his office between Ryou and someone else. His Aibou sounded upset.  
  
"Of course I care what the Queen mother thinks! She is my grandmother after all!" Bakura heard Ryou say.  
  
Who the hell was the Queen mother? Was she someone dangerous? Bakura slowly walked toward the office to hear the rest of the conversation.  
  
"No, I don't think hearing about my death would make her terribly happy. I AM NOT A PRINCE AND I WILL NOT ACT ACCORDINGLY!!" Ryou shouted.  
  
His Ryou, a prince? Was he some kind of royalty? Bakura walked into the office standing behind Ryou's chair not wanting to disturb the rest of the conversation.  
  
"I doubt Bakura being there is going to upset anyone. What would they care anyway! I never see them to begin with!" Ryou's breath shuddered. "SO WHAT!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU OR ANYONE ELSE THINKS!" Bakura had never seen Ryou this upset before. "Yes father." He voice became quiet. "I am not leaving him." Another shuddering breath. "You don't understand any of this!" Another pause. "It's your fault to begin with!" Bakura was becoming worried. That was it!  
  
Bakura grabbed the receiver from Ryou as the teen gasped in surprise. Looking at the albino's face, the Tomb Robber could see the tears coming down almost in rivers. No more!  
  
"Hello Mister Bakura! Why don't you shut the fuck up for five minutes and listen! You will not call here anymore to harass Ryou! This is a place of business." He heard the man shout on the other end. "I told you to shut the fuck up didn't I? You are on my time asshole! Yes! That's right! My fucking time!" He heard silence. "Good boy! Now listen here shit head, we'll be at your stupid wedding to that whore you're marrying! We'll be on our best behavior, at least the best I could pull off without killing someone! Oh yeah, and we'll impress this Queen mother of yours! In fact, I plan on fucking Ryou on the wedding cake!" Bakura grinned deviously as he heard his father shout on the other end. "Yep! Then I'm going to give that cunt wife of yours a nice vaginal itch she'll never forget because she is such a fucking bitch for turning you against your own son! Of course you have no nads to begin with because she cut 'em off! Then we'll see you at your fucking funeral in about six months, and I'll be surprised if you last that long, when your dumb bitch of a wife takes a knife and stabs you in the back to get your money! By the way, could you leave me your gold fillings in your will? I have a sick fascination for human bones!" He heard a click on the other end. "Oh well, I guess that was too much for him!" Bakura pressed the off button. "What a waste of batteries." He turned toward Ryou. "Are you okay?" He almost forgot Ryou in his fun with harassing his father.  
  
"Fine. I can't believe this is happening." He whispered as he wiped away his tears. "I mean, he is my father."  
  
"So." Bakura started.  
  
"He was all I had left." Ryou wondered why Bakura was being like that. "Don't you understand?" He gasped as Bakura grabbed a gentle hold of his chin.  
  
"I do understand. More than you know." He looked away, his hand falling from the albino's chin. "I'm going to go see if there is anything else that needs to be done." He turned toward Ryou. "Are you going to stick around tonight?"  
  
"If you need me to." He answered as Bakura slightly smiled.  
  
"I always do." Bakura walked out of the office.  
  
Bored! Bored! Bored! Was the mood to describe Yami at the present time. Why oh why the old man insisted that the shop be opened early in the day was beyond him. No one came to the shop until after 5pm! Of course he had to volunteer to take over the shop until the elderly man came back from his errands.  
  
Dressed in his usual leather fetish, Yami branded a knife and threw it at its intended target. A nice picture of Marik Ishtar hung just off to the side. The psycho had sent it some time ago to taunt poor Yuugi, but Yami had pilfered it off his light. It had inscribed on it, 'To Yuugi, love and kisses, Marik". He had evil plans for that picture!  
  
"Bullseye!" Yami ferally grinned as he made another knife appear out of no where and then threw it again. "Oh well, hit his eye! Now to hit the other!" He made another knife come out.  
  
The bell jingled as Yami put down the knife. Who would come at this hour? Of course, it would be one of Yuugi's friends.  
  
"Jounouchi, what the hell are you doing here?" Yami asked. "Shouldn't you be in school or something?"  
  
"Doesn't start until next semester." Jou leaned on the glass counter. "I was in the neighborhood and." he turned toward the knives in the wall. "Um.are you in a bad mood or somethin'? I could come back later."  
  
"No. Go ahead and talk." He took the knife and then threw it Marik's other eye. "YES!!" He made Jou jump.  
  
"Oooookay. It's like this. Mai broke up with me today. She said we have nothing beyond the physical." The blond boy started.  
  
"That's an understatement." Yami countered.  
  
"Anyway." He started as he ignored Yami's comment. "I was wondering.well.COULDIGOOUTWITHYUUGI!!"  
  
Huh? His light? Nuh uh! No way! No fucking way! No way was this guy going to treat his Aibou as a rebound.  
  
"NO WAY ON THIS EARTH WILL I LET YOU GO OUT WITH MY AIBOU!!" Yami got in Jounouchi's face. "Besides." He sat back down. "Maybe you should be by yourself for a while and find out who you are first before you jump into another relationship. I'm sorry, but Yuugi is not going to your rebound person until you find someone else. I won't permit it."  
  
"But Yuugi is someone I need." Jounouchi argued.  
  
"Yuugi is your best friend and if I were you, I would keep it that way until you figure out what you want." Yami warned. "Anyway, if you were really interested in the same sex, Seto would be more suited to you than Yuugi. Yuugi is not the domineering type and I feel you need that." 'And besides, if you touch my Aibou, I'll kill you!' He added as a silent afterthought.  
  
"ARE YOU NUTS!!! WE HATE EACH OTHER!!" Jounouchi shouted. "Are you a sadist or what!"  
  
"A sadist." Yami grinned, his arms crossing over his muscular leather clad chest. "Or what." He added. "Just take time to figure out what you want." He uncrossed his arms and then made another knife appear. "If you touch Yuugi, just once and." He threw the blade right in between Marik's eyes. "Bulls eye again!" He cheered.  
  
"I get the point.literally." The blond backed away and then ran from the store.  
  
"Thought that would work." Yami brandished another knife and threw it again.  
  
"YAMI!!!" The old man walked in from the back. "Stop doing that! Now I'll have to spackle another wall! If you want to throw knives, join the circus!"  
  
Yuugi was walking home from college. Another day down, another few weeks to go. He wished he could do better, he really did, but for some reason he had so much on his mind. One of them being his overprotective other self!  
  
Why did Yami act like an ass half the time? He had gotten a bit worse since he got his own body.and what a nice body it was. BAD YUUGI!! His body was nicely tanned, his face looked a bit different, more mature, his eyes more narrow and his whole demeanor beautiful. The blond locks suited him in contrast perfectly. Those muscles.BAD BAD YUUGI!!  
  
Back to Yami acting like an ass.a very overprotective ass.a very nice.stop right there! He was tired of the pharaoh treating him like a child. Couldn't he see he was a man in his own right?  
  
At that moment, a chill ran up his spine. Yuugi stopped walking feeling some dark presence around him. Looking around the street, he could not see anything. Regaining his pace, Yuugi walked quickly toward the game shop. Racing toward the door, all thoughts of the pharaoh temporarily gone, Yuugi hurried inside closing the door behind him. Heaving a sigh of relief, he noticed Yami with a bucket and spackler. Was he throwing knives again?  
  
"You got bored again?" Yuugi asked breaking Yami's concentration.  
  
"Yuugi." The Pharaoh greeted. "How was your day?"  
  
"Hard.um.okay." Yuugi caught himself. "Yours? Or should I not ask."  
  
"Don't ask." Yami replied. "I guess my knife wielding abilities don't impress your grandfather." Yuugi stifled a giggle.  
  
"No. I guess it doesn't." Yuugi walked toward the counter. "Yami, I felt something today on the way home."  
  
"What was it? I HATE THIS EVIL STUFF!!" Yami shoved the spackle shovel into the tub.  
  
"There was something following me on the way home." Yuugi started. "It didn't feel right. It felt dark, you know, like the Shadow Realm?"  
  
"Then maybe I should drive you back and forth to school to be safe." Yami stated. "I know Marik is still alive out there somewhere. He'll want to try to kill me again."  
  
"Marik?" Yuugi asked as he noticed the poster that the insane blond had sent him full of slashes on the counter. "You used his picture as target practice?" Yuugi giggled.  
  
"Yep." Yami took the picture, crumpled it up, took out his lighter and lit it. "Heh! That's what I think of him." He let the crumpled mass go into the waste basket.  
  
"Ummm..Yami, you might want to put that out." Yuugi ran behind the counter watching the paper burn itself out. "Nevermind."  
  
"Hey, I may be insane at times, but I ain't stupid!" Yami grinned deviously. "Anyway, I hope he sends more! The ones of Anzu are too small."  
  
"Yami! You haven't been throwing knives at Anzu's pictures!" Yuugi's eyes widened.  
  
"Yep. One slash for every time that I had put up with her stupid friendship speeches!" Yami proclaimed proudly. "To think I found her attractive! Must have been your influence."  
  
"Well excuse me!" Yuugi protested. "She was my friend for the longest time."  
  
"And a fine friend she was!" Yami sat back down on the stool. "Try harder next time!"  
  
"Yami!" Yuugi protested. "I thought you liked my friends."  
  
"I did." Yami pointed out. "Go do your homework. You have no excuses anymore." He shooed Yuugi away. "Go on Aibou."  
  
"Fine! I'll see you later!" Yuugi walked into the house.  
  
Slipping his hand under the cash register, Yami pulled out some pictures of Anzu. Tacking them on the recently abused wall, an insane grin crossed his face as he began to throw knives again.  
  
"YAMI!!" A shout was heard.  
  
Oh shit!  
  
TBC. 


	9. Bondage blues, Ryou's tourment, and Mari...

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a die-hard fan, hate shonen- ai or have no sense of humor, this isn't for you!  
  
EIGHT  
  
"BARK LIKE THE LOWLY DOG YOU ARE!!!" A female voice shouted as she yanked on the least of her unfortunate victim.  
  
"ARF! ARF!!" Her victim shouted.  
  
"Not like a weak dog! Like a REAL DOG!!" She whipped her victim on the back gently. "NOW BARK!"  
  
"WOOF WOOF!!!" Another crack of the whip was heard as her victim flinched.  
  
"LOUDER YOU LOWLY DOG!!" She shouted.  
  
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!" He barked.  
  
The woman then forced her poor client to his feet and then strapped his wrists to the chains on the ceiling. He was suspended in mid air, his excitement of being dominated growing. He was totally covered in black leather, his face hidden. The dominatrix threw the whip aside and then grabbed a crop normally used for horses.  
  
Oh yes! The best was yet to come! All of his pent up frustration would come to an end soon! He could feel the excitement burn throughout his being. He ruled the corporate world by the balls, but tonight, she had his!  
  
"You've been a bad boy! A very bad, BAD boy!" A feral grin crossed her face. "Now I have to punish you in the worst way." She stood behind him, crop ready to strike his firm rear when.  
  
The door opened. Bakura poked his head in to see what was going on. Belladonna wanted to yank his pretty white hair one by one out of his head!  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing? I'm in the middle of a session here!" She shouted at him.  
  
"I own the club you bitch! I just wanted to tell you that your next client is getting impatient. Finish up with Mister CEO here and move on to the next one! I sometimes think you enjoy him too much!" Bakura shot back.  
  
"Fuck you! When I'm done, I'm done!" She growled.  
  
"Loves ya too babe!" Bakura grinned deviously.  
  
"You would never talk to your would-be-boyfriend like this!" Bella Donna stated.  
  
"It's because I actually love him. Bye!" Bakura shut the door.  
  
"Stupid asshole!" She threw the crop down. "Why the hell I even put up with his stupid insane ass is beyond me! If it wasn't for Ryou, I wouldn't stay."  
  
"You're not going to finish?" The man demanded.  
  
"I'll tell you what! Why don't you go home and finish yourself off! I have clients waiting and I ain't gonna piss off Bakura anymore tonight, Seto! I don't care who you are or what your name means! Now get dressed and get out!" She ordered as she stepped out of the room.  
  
"I PAID FOR A GOOD HOURS SESSION!" Seto shouted back. "I DEMAND SATISFACTION!!" He threw off the leather mask.  
  
"Go fuck yourself!" She shot back through the door.  
  
Ryou slid through the sea of people to find Bakura. He was tired of being groped and grabbed by the dancing patrons. If Bakura found this out, they would all be disemboweled. Bakura enjoyed torturing his victims sometimes before he killed them.  
  
"Excuse me! Please don't grab me there! Thank you! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OR ELSE!!" Ryou shouted at one of the patrons working his way toward the bar holding a black leather bound folder protectively against his chest. "I can't believe I put up with this! I am going to demand an easier way to get to the damned bar!" He finally worked his toward a loud Bakura drinking down a beer. "Bakura!" Ryou put down the folder on the bar and then grabbed onto his shirt as if he were a life line. "Help me! There has to be an easier way to the bar! I can't take this anymore."  
  
"What's going on?" Bakura put his bottle down and wrapped his arms around his distraught other, bringing him closer.  
  
"I am tired of being groped or someone trying to grab me." Ryou growled in disgust. "I want a better way to get to the bar so I can give you the damned paychecks! Or maybe for once you can come to the office and see how it feels!"  
  
Oh boy! Bakura had never seen Ryou this pissed! Was he sure he wasn't a girl? PMS was a pretty nasty thing. Bakura experienced it once with one of his girl friends way back when. She chased after him with a knife threatening to slice his manhood off. Suffice to say, he successfully got away from her! Lucky him! Looking Ryou over, he was definitely a male, except for that face.  
  
"I think you need Midol." Bakura could only think of.  
  
"DAMN IT BAKURA!!! I'm being serious here!" Ryou protested.  
  
"So am I." He countered. "Look, I'll come to the office in the future and get the checks. Don't worry. I think you've had a hard time, Ryou. Getting stressed out is not going to help you. It's just going to hurt you." Where the hell did this come from?  
  
Ryou felt those strong arms hold him tighter as he was almost crushed to Bakura's muscular chest. Ryou's eyes became bigger. The albino could hear Bakura's heart beat in his chest.and oh what a nice strong chest it was... Closing his eyes and slowly moving his arms around the other's strong body, Ryou reveled in the feeling. He never felt like this before.  
  
"Well, well! If it isn't Bakura and his little cock tease!" A voice destroyed the moment.  
  
Bakura let go of Ryou and then took a protective stance in front of the smaller albino. Looking around Bakura, Ryou shuddered as he saw the crazed muscular form of Marik. Wasn't he sane?  
  
"If it isn't the Three Faces of Eve or should I call you Everett! You should lay off the steroids asshole! Your mind is fucked up as it is!" Bakura shot back. "What the hell do you want!"  
  
"Your attempt at insults doesn't faze me Tomb Robber! I am here to ask for a favor." Marik stated.  
  
"No! I don't have any virgins here so get lost!" Bakura snarled.  
  
"Except the one behind you." Marik grinned maliciously.  
  
"Fuck you! What do you want?" Bakura demanded.  
  
"I want you to join me in destroying the pharaoh." Marik stated.  
  
"Okay psycho blonde! Let's get one thing straight! You are not an ancient spirit like me and Yami are. You are a psychotic fuck who has a personality disorder! You're only pissed because you were born into a family that wanted you to be servant to the Pharaoh when he came back. Well, he doesn't fucking need your stupid ass! You're free to live your own life so get lost and get a life!" Bakura shot back. "Oh, and see a fucking psychiatrist for some strong medication! I thought that you were cured!"  
  
That comment only caused Marik to laugh heartily. Ryou cringed as Bakura's face almost turned red. As his laughter died down, Bakura grabbed the stupid blond by the front of his sleeveless tunic.  
  
"Listen asswipe, I ain't gonna mess with the Pharaoh. He's as psychotic as you are at the moment! So get your stupid sorry ass out of my club and out of my life." He noticed Marik staring lustfully at Ryou.this was not missed by Bakura. "AND STOP STARING AT RYOU, YOU PERVERT!!!" Bakura dragged a slobbering Marik away from the bar and disappeared into the sea of people.  
  
"He's going to throw him out the door like he did the last guy who looked at me like that." Ryou said deadpanned. "He does care!" His eyes lit up.  
  
"AND STAY OUT YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!" Bakura threw Marik out into the night.  
  
"This isn't the last you'll hear from me." Marik promised.  
  
"Oh yes it will! 'Cause the next time I hear from you or see you, you're a fucking dead man!" Bakura threatened as he sheathed out his long knife. "Don't think I won't kill you on the spot!"  
  
"Keep your eyes on that little one. You never know when he might disappear." Marik smirked as he got off the ground, dusted his body off and then walked away.  
  
"YOU KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF MY RYOU!!!" Bakura shouted after him.  
  
Finally there was a tournament and the prize money was enough for the former Pharaoh to afford a nice place of his own. All thoughts of having a palace, a Queen and several hundred children were out of the question at the moment. He could not give someone of that status the life they deserved.and there was a severe shortage of royalty these days.not that he deemed any of them worthy of his attention! They were uuuuuuuugly and severely inbred!  
  
Of course he would celebrate with his Aibou when he came out the victor. After all, he won every tournament there ever was. They might as well write the check out to him now!  
  
Packing was a priority now. He would tell Yuugi his plans before he left. After all, he would want his Aibou to wait for him to come back. Then he would have time to sort out his mind and his feelings about the future.  
  
"Yami?" Yuugi asked from the door. "Are you leaving?"  
  
"Just for one day. There is a dueling tournament and the prize money is too good to pass up." Yami started as he shoved more stuff in his bag. "When I get back, we'll talk." He closed the top and then walked over to his light. "Take care of yourself while I'm away." He took a hold of his other self and hugged him.  
  
"I will." Yuugi promised as Yami let him go. "By the way, I got the invitation in the mail today for the wedding. They set it quick." Yuugi handed him the envelope which was already opened.  
  
"I feel badly for Ryou. I'll pick up a gift while I am out in Tokyo." Yami promised. "I'll get something laced with poison." He smirked.  
  
"Yami." Yuugi sighed. "I'll see you when you get back." He walked out of the room.  
  
Now what was going through his other self's mind?  
  
Ryou hated waking up sometimes. If it weren't for Bakura, he would stay in the eternal abyss of slumber. Unfortunately, he had to go to college that morning. Putting on a robe, the albino got out of bed and walked out of his room. It was the second largest to Bakura's own room.  
  
Walking into the dining room, Ryou noticed the ever building mountain of mail on the table. Bakura ate in the kitchen and used the dining room table as a mail receptacle. He kept promising to go through the mail, but never did. Ryou figured to sit down and try to sift through the mess before he would have to get ready to leave.  
  
Pulling out a chair, the albino sat down and began to go through the mail separating junk from bills. When he got further down the pile, he noticed two things, an invitation to his father's wedding to the bitch and a letter from his college. Opening the college letter first, he pulled out the letter and then opened it. He felt his heart fall into his stomach. Wide eyed, Ryou read it again to make sure it was right. Folding the piece of paper up, he set it down gently and then sighed. How far could someone go to ruin someone's life?  
  
Dear Ryou,  
  
It has come to our attention about your extracurricular activities from an anonymous source. In order to keep up the reputation of this fine educational institution, we have no choice but to suspend you indefinitely. Your scholarship has been revoked. You may wish to pursue your educational choice with a city college that will not have a problem with your choice in employment. We wish you the best.  
  
With our Regrets.  
  
Yeah right! Regrets! Guess he didn't have to go to school today or ever! City college? Ugh. Well, he would have to tell Bakura right away and perhaps just leave the safety of his home. There was no other reason to be there, was there?  
  
"Looks like the cunt strikes again because I don't think your father would even stoop this low." A voice sounded in his ear.  
  
Of course Bakura, being the thief he once was, never let his presence be known. He was leaning over Ryou's shoulder reading the letter.  
  
"If I were you, I'd hire someone to take the bitch out." Bakura stated. "Of course, I don't think even you would wish her death as much as I do."  
  
"It wouldn't serve a purpose." Ryou sighed. 'What will become of me now?' He thought in anguish.  
  
"Don't worry. You still have me." Bakura kissed his cheek and then walked away.  
  
Damn it! He read his mind again before he could ask the question. Now what was he going to do! Leaving that a question to a future time, Ryou opened the wedding invitation.talking about adding insult to injury! Ripping it opened, not caring about the contents at all, the white frilly card fell out with the RSVP. The woman really had to rush it, didn't she!  
  
"I can't believe this!" Ryou growled. "She wasted no time."  
  
Okay.now how the hell would he get out of this mess? The doctors assured him he would be cured. Of course Malik was probably beginning to realize that his other personality had finally manifested itself as something living and separate from himself. Oh yeah, he was in the hell that was the Shadow Realm. No, not entirely there, but in that damn glass pyramid that his darker self loved. Once again he was bodiless and felt cold.  
  
"So this is what it's like to be dead." He sighed knowing banging on the glass was futile. "I reject my future and this is what it comes to. Meanwhile the pharaoh lives his own life. How ironic!"  
  
"Isn't it." A voice answered him in a mock concerned tone. "Oh yes, what did you want out of life? I don't want to wait for the Pharaoh to return. I want to live on the surface! I want to reject my family's honor for my own selfish purposes!" Marik snorted as his weaker self. "You are pathetic! Our sister should have been the one to serve the pharaoh. Rah knows she took the job more seriously than you did."  
  
"She's my sister! Why don't you fuck off!" Malik shot back.  
  
"My my! What foul language! Watch it Malik, I may have to cut your tongue out." Marik sneered. "It's too bad you are a spirit right now. I need a virgin sacrifice in order to get back at the pharaoh. You would fit perfectly, but unfortunately, I may have to sacrifice someone else."  
  
"What century do you live in? Virgin sacrifices? Why?" Malik demanded.  
  
"To appease Rah when he strikes down the Pharaoh." Marik answered as he sat down on an ancient table across from Malik. "I may use Bakura's little angel as the sacrifice."  
  
"Ryou?" Malik asked in disbelief. "Why not Yuugi? Oh hell, how about Kaiba's little brother? In fact, why don't you off yourself since you aren't exactly stud material!"  
  
"That would sorta defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?" Marik snorted.  
  
"I thought you'd be insane enough to fall for it!" Malik smirked in satisfaction. "I doubt you'll ever get a hold of what belongs to Bakura. I doubt he's the same person you dueled with a few years ago!"  
  
"I'll send him and his little whore to the Shadow Realm once again!" Marik promised. "If Bakura thinks he can defeat me with the Winged Dragon of Rah, he is sadly mistaken."  
  
"Maybe he'll use Diabound." Malik stated. "You can't beat that."  
  
"I sure the hell will try to." Marik quickly spat. "I am not going to let some ancient Tomb Robber upstage me!" He walked away.  
  
TBC. 


	10. Ryou almost Meets Bakura Jr, Anzu meets ...

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a die hard fan, hate shonen- ai or don't have a sense of humor, this isn't for you.  
  
I want to thank those of you who reviewed my story on the Egroup, Fanfiction.net and Mediaminer.org. I am glad you guys are laughing! I will not rest until you are rolling on the floor! Once I achieved that, I will sulk.;)  
  
Does anyone know where there are Bakura/Ryou Doujinshis or do I have to make them! ;)  
  
NINE  
  
The crisp clean air of the morning was giving into the sun baked afternoon. Ryou took a long time to get dressed after everything that had happened. Did he really deserve this treatment from his family? Did he do something so awful as to deserve their hatred? Was his father so blind with love that his own son did not matter to him? Not only was love blind, but it was also stupid!  
  
Stepping onto the huge terrace outside, Ryou sat down on the lawn furniture, his chin resting on his folded arms. He felt he had no future, but Bakura told the albino that he always had him. His other self did not understand that he needed to have a future that he could be self-reliant in.  
  
Feeling arms wrap around his shoulders, Ryou immediately sat up. The last thing he wanted Bakura to see was his depressed self. A kiss made its way to his cheek. Gods, his other self had changed.  
  
"So when can we take this relationship to the next stage? I'm horny!" Bakura waggled his eye brows.  
  
"BAKURA!!!" Ryou shouted in outrage. "Can't you think of anything else but that!" Ryou turned around to face the crouching Bakura.  
  
"You know, you keep asking that and every time I tell you the same answer.no." Bakura grinned sitting down in a chair next to the albino.  
  
"So much for you being a gentleman." Ryou sighed. "Do you need me at the club tonight?"  
  
"No. I'm not going either. I have other business to attend to." Bakura blew a piece of white hair out of his face. "Oh yeah, and then there's the business of your father's marriage to that bitch! When's the date."  
  
"A week from now. She sent it the last minute to me. She was probably hoping it would get here after the fact. They must have planned the date a long time ago." Ryou sighed.  
  
"It's his funeral." Bakura replied. "What date and what time."  
  
"It's next Friday night." Ryou replied. "4 pm."  
  
"I'll be coming late. I have to organize some event at the club and then I'll be there after. Some stupid conglomerate of horny old rich bastards from some powerful company wants a session with Belladonna and Dallas. Crystal and Ice didn't want any part of it. I don't blame them. I wouldn't want be around them either." Bakura snorted. "Rah! I bet they can't find anyone to suck them off regularly!"  
  
"What's wrong with them?" Ryou asked.  
  
"They're Fugly! Short for mother fuckin' ugly!" Bakura ran a frustrated hand through his wild hair. "I believe everyone needs love no matter what, but they're an exception. They're disgusting. They paid good money though."  
  
"How long have they been customers?" Ryou asked.  
  
"First time." Bakura answered. "Anyway, after that, I'll be there. I wouldn't want to miss the farce of a wedding. I want to meet this Queen Mother person. Is she an alien or something?"  
  
"N-No." Ryou laughed. "She's the Queen of England."  
  
"Oh? Cool! Does she torture her people?" Bakura's eyes were wide with interest.  
  
"No Bakura. She does not torture people. It's illegal to do that these days. She is just a figure head. She doesn't rule England." Ryou explained.  
  
"Damn!" Bakura pouted. "So where is this wedding being held?"  
  
"The British Embassy." Ryou answered.  
  
"What the hell is that?" Bakura asked.  
  
"A part of the British government established in Japan. Almost every country has one." Ryou stated.  
  
"Ooooooooooooooookay. Strange but.aaaaaaaaaahhhh never mind!" Bakura humphed. "Why is it being held there?"  
  
"For the security of the Queen. Even though she has no power, people will still try to harm her for some stupid reason." Ryou wondered why all the questions.  
  
"This world we live in now is so strange. There are more people and a variety of people I have never seen. Your accent is weird and I find the Japanese language the biggest pain the ass to learn. I thought English was bad. Cars shock me. When the guy said something about horses under the hood, I opened it and demanded to know where the horses were. Planes make me wonder if men were made to fly. I wanted to try that test with a big giant sling shot once." Bakura started as Ryou smiled. "Never found anything big enough.heh. I love Heavy Metal music though. It's soothing."  
  
"You would think that." Ryou shook his head. "Yes, this world is probably very weird to you, but it's normal to me.well as normal can get."  
  
"So.before I go out." Bakura started.  
  
"NO!" Ryou shot back before Bakura could ask. Oh! He saw the erotic mental image that Bakura was supplying, but he was not going to give in.  
  
"Come on! Bakura Junior wants you!" He grinned evilly.  
  
"Tell Bakura Junior to take a cold shower!" Ryou got up from the chair. "I see some things haven't changed in three thousand years. I'll see you later. I have to figure out what I am going to do with my future."  
  
Ryou's future was exactly what Bakura had in mind.  
  
Shizuka was worried about Mokuba. She tried to get him too stop running around with his gang, but he never listened. He had not come home last night.  
  
"Seto. Seto!" She practically ran around the mansion only to run into her brother in a corridor. "Jounouchi! Do you know where Seto is!"  
  
"Huh? No." He answered. "He doesn't even talk to me. Why?"  
  
"Mokuba is missing! He's been missing for a day now. I haven't seen him." She was on the verge tears.  
  
"Maybe he stayed at a friend's house last night." Jou suggested.  
  
"No! They're looking for him too! They said some guy invaded their warehouse and scared them off. Mokuba was still there." She cried. "WE HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE!!" She grabbed Jounouchi by his shirt. "WHAT IF THE GUY KILLED HIM!!?" She became hysterical.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE!!" A voice boomed as Shizuka stopped crying.  
  
"My sister says your brother has been missing since last night." Jounouchi answered calmly. "What has your nuts in a twist?"  
  
"Uh.n-nothing. Where was Mokuba last?" Seto asked a bit gentler this time.  
  
"With some guy who chased off his friends! We have to do something!" She cried.  
  
"I will call the authorities. I want to see if he was kidnapped by a rival company or some idiot who wants a ransom!" Seto walked away.  
  
Great! This he did not need right now! He had to go off the tournament in Tokyo and now he wouldn't be able to. Damn it! He needed to beat the damn Pharaoh once and for all and prove that he was the true duelist.  
  
"HI YAMI!" A female voice startled the Pharaoh from his thoughts.  
  
The crimson eyed man turned toward the source, eyes wide when he recognized the person. Anzu. Why was she here? Wasn't she in America?  
  
"Anzu? What are you doing here?" Yami asked as she noticed the girl had a stuffed bear in her arms.  
  
"This is for Yuugi." She handed the bear to the duelist. "I just came by to say hello since I was in the area. My dance class decided to come here to perform in the city. Since I heard about the tournament, I figured I drop by and visit. How is Yuugi doing?"  
  
"He's busy with school." Yami simply replied trying to remain friendly. "What have you been up to?"  
  
"I'm going out with someone. He's really nice. He has a nice family. I may apply for citizenship if things get serious." She smiled dreamily.  
  
"Anzu, why are you really here?" Yami was tired of her game.  
  
"I just wanted to say hi." She spoke softly.  
  
"And?" He demanded.  
  
"And nothing." She stated.  
  
Yami raised a brow at this. He knew full well now what she felt for him or did feel for him. Now she comes back after shattering his light's heart and hands him a bear to give to Yuugi?? Was this a peace offering?  
  
"I just find it strange that you come here and give Yuugi a present after breaking his heart." Yami shoved the bear back into her arms. "Keep it."  
  
"But.just because I don't love him doesn't mean I don't care about him as a friend." Anzu stated. "Why are you doing this?"  
  
"I don't want him having to go through any more than he has had to in the past." Yami pointed out. "Yes, I do know your feelings for me. He told me. It wasn't out of bitterness. He told me a few days ago." He heard her gasp. "No, I don't feel the same. Even if I did, I couldn't. After all, to rub that in his face would be dishonorable wouldn't you think?"  
  
"Yes." She said in a small voice. "I'm sorry." She looked up at the Pharaoh. "I-I guess I'll be going now." She walked away feeling a bit defeated.  
  
Yami could only snort in disgust. Yes, once upon a time, he was falling for Anzu, but out of respect for his light, he did not pursue a relationship with the girl. After all, at the time, he was only a spirit of the Millennium item Yuugi had. Her going to America to pursue her dreams made things easier. After seeing her now, being in his own body, he felt nothing. It must have been Yuugi's feelings clouding his judgment the whole time and not his own.  
  
"I WANT OUT OF HERE!! I WANT MY BROTHER!!! YOU BETTER LET ME GO OR HE'LL KILL YOU!!" Mokuba shouted at the top of his lungs.  
  
Of course, Malik had been subjected to Mokuba's rantings for the past hour. Why the hell did Marik have to put this idiot in the same room with him! Oh yeah! His big fucking mouth! Rule number one: Never taunt someone more insane than yourself!  
  
"Could you please stop? You're giving me a migraine." Malik cut into Mokuba's rant. "If you haven't noticed, we're both prisoners here."  
  
"I want out of here! I don't understand why he even kidnapped me! If he wanted to get at Seto, can't he do it another way! I hate a date with my girlfriend tonight!" He growled.  
  
"I fucked your girlfriend last night!" Malik grinned in satisfaction.  
  
"WHY YOU BASTARD!!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!" He shouted.  
  
"I'm just kidding! You have no sense of humor, kid, you know that?" Malik laughed. "I've been trapped in this thing with no body for a month. I'm just in spirit form."  
  
"Spirit form? Is that guy like Bakura and the Pharaoh?" Mokuba asked.  
  
"Not exactly. It's called a multiple personality disorder taking on a new form thanks to the Millennium Rod!" He growled bitterly. "It really belongs to your brother since he was the high priest when the Pharaoh was alive during that time. They were friends you know. I don't know why they are competitive jerk offs now."  
  
"Me either." Mokuba stated. "I mean, all he cares about is his corporation and beating that guy! I don't understand him at all."  
  
"I'm so sorry about your petty little problems!" Another voice sounded. "But I really don't care right now!" Marik appeared before them.  
  
"Have you captured someone else?" Malik asked in annoyance.  
  
"No. I can't get to Yuugi for some reason. The Pharaoh must take guarding him a bit too seriously. He put a protection spell on him to keep someone like me away from him." Marik growled.  
  
"What about Ryou?" Malik asked.  
  
"Bakura knows what I'm up to. I will have to take him by force and Bakura in the process. I can't have him ruining my plans. Yuugi would have been more of a meaningful sacrifice in the grand scheme of things. After all, he is the Pharaoh's light." Marik turned toward Mokuba. "I still have to contact your brother."  
  
"If he doesn't shoot you first!" Mokuba growled.  
  
"After he sees the truth, he will want the pharaoh dead himself just to become even more powerful than he is. When I revive Seth, then when he regains that power, I'll take it from him!" Marik eye's widened.  
  
"Um, when did your plans change? I thought you wanted to kill the stupid pharaoh yourself! When did Seto become part of this?" Malik asked.  
  
"Huh?" Marik asked.  
  
"I told you to take your pills didn't I?" Malik crossed his arms over his chest. "If you don't take those pills, you'll lose your focus!" He grinned.  
  
"Oh yeah! I forgot. I'll take them right now." He walked away confused.  
  
The two watched Marik disappear up the stairs. Malik only began to laugh as Mokuba glared at him.  
  
"Why are you encouraging him!" Mokuba demanded.  
  
"Are you kidding? Those pills will put him to sleep for a while!" Malik answered. "We won't have to see his ugly face for a few hours. It suits me fine!"  
  
"IT DOESN'T SUIT ME!! I WANT OUT OF HERE NOW!" Mokuba shouted.  
  
"Calm down! Your brother knows you're missing by now, am I right? He won't stop until you're found. Then Marik will make his move and he and the Pharaoh will show up. After all, Marik is their common enemy right?" Malik asked.  
  
"Oh, you're so sure huh? Well what if Marik gets Yuugi and Ryou! Don't forget that he wants to get Ryou's insane other half here! He's just as bad as Marik. What if he turns against the Pharaoh and my brother!" Mokuba pointed out.  
  
"He won't. Ryou probably has him wrapped around his little finger. If Ryou tells him what to do, he'll do it." Malik countered.  
  
"That's disturbing." Mokuba pointed out.  
  
"It works out in our favor, doesn't it?" Malik stated.  
  
Bakura hated confrontations.oh hell, he loved them! What better way to vent ones anger than confront the source of the problem in the most violent way possible! Heh!  
  
All this was for his beloved Ryou! Oh yes! Fate was going to be dealt a nice little lesson in screwing people over who did not deserve it. That Dean was going to get a bit of the Bakura rage!  
  
Walking up the stairs of the Administration building, Bakura pushed with all his fury, the huge wooden doors to the building. People backed away from the furious man as he walked past them, his destination, the Dean's Office!  
  
Bakura made his way to the Dean's department and then opened the door, startling the poor secretary that sat behind her desk. She quickly scrambled to her feet and ran around the desk to stop the white haired demon from going into the Dean's Office.  
  
"Sir! Sir! Do you have an appointment? You can't go in there without one!" She shouted after him as Bakura paid her no mind. "SIR!!"  
  
Bakura turned around, stopping in his tracks. He gave her the most evil glare he could muster and growled at the same time. There was no way this woman was going to mess with this crazy man. God knows, she didn't make enough to play body guard to the Dean!  
  
Slamming the door opened, Bakura scared the hell out of the balding fat man sitting in the oversized leather chair behind the deep dark wine colored oak desk. The office had that smell of wood and coffee that made Bakura want to retch! The ex-Tomb Robber mentally closed the doors behind them, the locks catching. Standing in front of the man, he could have sworn the man peed in his pants!  
  
"Who-Who are you! What do you want with me! If this is about the money, tell your boss I'll pay up next week!" He shook.  
  
"So, you deal in illegal activities? For shame for someone of your social stature!" Bakura placed his palms on the desk, leaning forward toward his prey. "I'm not someone's lackey you pig! I'm here for a student you suspended."  
  
"A student? Who is this student?" The man was still shaking from Bakura's dark look.  
  
"His name is Ryou Bakura. It seems your FINE institution has a problem with him working at my establishment. I didn't know bookkeeping was a shamed profession! I thought it was one to be proud of." Bakura growled. "Just because he works in a Bondage club doesn't mean he's one of the dancers and I can assure you, I don't hire male dancers. They are not my cup of tea!" He got right in the pig's face. "So, what are you going to do about this unfortunate misunderstanding?"  
  
"Misunderstanding? I don't get what you mean." The Dean couldn't even think.  
  
"What I mean is, are you going to let this continue because some anonymous source had a vendetta against my Aibou or are you going to let him back in and avoid a scandal with the press!" Bakura threatened.  
  
"You wouldn't!" The Dean started.  
  
"Oh yes I would." Bakura stood up, his arms crossed over his leather clad chest. "I can see it now! A fine school suspends innocent student because of bookkeeping at local bondage club! How pathetic! His scholarship was meager at best! If I didn't give him that job to come and go as he pleased, he wouldn't have time for school or have any pocket change to survive on. Is that the kind of students you want here? The best ones that are too tired to come to class? They need to make money like the rest of us. What difference does it make where he works? As long as he comes to class in order to become a medical professional, his private life should not be any of your concern no matter who ratted him out!"  
  
"We have a reputation to uphold." The Dean started.  
  
"Oh and what a fine upstanding citizen YOU are! So tell me, who is your loan shark so I can expose that too!" Bakura spat back at the man. "You don't know who Ryou is, do you."  
  
"No, I don't." The man admitted. "I just sign the letters. I don't investigate each case. I have people to do that for me."  
  
"Well you made a huge mistake and you need to rectify it!" Bakura grabbed the guy by his collar. "You either let Ryou Bakura back in or I'll go to the press and expose you and your precious school for what it is!" Bakura threw him back in the chair. "Got it?"  
  
"Y-Yes." He stuttered.  
  
"Good! I don't wanna have to come back and kill you!" Bakura snarled as he walked out of the office slamming the doors behind him.  
  
The bitch was next, but Bakura would bide his time with her! Oh yes! At her wedding, she would get it big for doing this to his light!  
  
TBC. 


	11. Yuugi's Worst Nightmare and Marik's Obse...

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a die hard fan, have no sense of humor, or hate Shonen Ai, then this is not for you.  
  
TEN  
  
His eyes adjusted to the light that suddenly came about. How, he did not know. Looking around, the eighteen year old noticed his friends in the living room talking with Yami and basically having a good time. When did Anzu come back from America? Why was Honda here? Yuugi thought he wanted nothing to do with him. This had to be a dream, right?  
  
Leaning over the couch, Yuugi could see more clearly. Anzu was in Yami's lap talking to the others about the wonders of America. Honda and Jounouchi were listening with interest. Smiling, even though his heart was breaking internally at the sight of Anzi and Yami together, Yuugi leaned toward them in order to be noticed. Of course, they didn't even look in his direction, Yami's face buried in Anzu's neck. He didn't even like her like that, right? Buck up, Yuugi, life isn't fair! After all, you always wanted to belong, didn't you?  
  
"Hi guys!" Yuugi smiled, daring to interrupt Anzu's speech.  
  
The smile disappeared as four angry glares pierced him. If looks could kill, he would be dead on the floor. Guess his worst fears were confirmed. Even his own self.  
  
"What do you want? How dare you interrupt me!" Anzu shouted making the petite teen jump slightly.  
  
"I didn't mean to. I just wanted to say hi." Yuugi explained wearily.  
  
"Hi? Well hello! Now get lost!" She shouted. "We were having a private discussion and we don't need you being here."  
  
"I live here." Yuugi protested.  
  
"So does Yami and we were here to see him." Honda stated.  
  
If Jounouchi or Yami hurt him, Yuugi feared his heart would shatter. Anzu had already broken his heart and Honda all of sudden did not want to be his friend. Why?  
  
"If you really thought we were your friends, think again!" Jounouchi stated.  
  
'Where is Bakura! Why am I in Yuugi's house? I don't remember coming here!' Ryou walked into the living room and noticed the strange spectacle. Why was Yuugi crying and why was Anzu in Yami's lap. The pharaoh didn't even like her!  
  
"Why would we be friends with someone like you? You wished for friends, didn't you? You wished for us to be your friends. When Yami got his own body, your wish was broken!" Jounouchi shouted making Yuugi cry even more. "We opened our eyes and saw you for the person you really are!"  
  
"And what person would that be, Jounouchi!" 'A dream. I last remember falling asleep.but.this isn't my dream. Oh Yuugi! Do you really have no self-esteem?' He could feel Yuugi's life force. "Yuugi. What is going on here?" Ryou asked.  
  
"Who is that?" Anzu asked.  
  
Of course the dream characters would not know him. Sighing, Ryou stepped into the crowded living room, just ignoring the dream occupants.  
  
"What is going on, Yuugi?" Ryou asked.  
  
"Are you here to see Yami too?" He asked brokenly as Ryou turned back toward the dream people.  
  
"No. I was looking for Bakura and forgot I fell asleep. Yuugi, this isn't real." Ryou pointed out. "Why are you even dreaming about them for?"  
  
"You mean.this isn't real?" Yuugi asked. "Wait a second, how come you're here?"  
  
"I don't know. I mean, I guess it has to do with the Millennium items we have. We probably could cross into each others minds." Ryou stated.  
  
"Whoever you are, could you please sit down and shut up so we can continue our conversation with the pip squeak!" Honda demanded.  
  
"OH SHUT UP!!!" Ryou shouted at dream Honda. "You're not even real!"  
  
"Oh really? Then let's see what happens, when I do this!" Honda stood and took a swing at Ryou who expertly dodged it.  
  
The albino thought really hard. At that moment, Bakura came through the door in his usual leathers and chains. The albino noticed Yuugi's eyes widen in surprise. Oh was he going to have fun with Honda and Anzu! Those two were the thorns in his side! Anzu for her incessant friendship speeches and for Honda throwing away the Millennium Ring.  
  
"What's going on in here!" The voice demanded.  
  
"Oh Bakura! He took a swing at meeeeeeeeee!" Ryou whined feigning tears pointing at Honda.  
  
If the real Bakura saw this, he would laugh his ass off. The maniac would probably tell Ryou not to quit his day job with his acting skills. This Bakura, though, was loyal as a dog.well.  
  
The dream Bakura took a hold of Honda by his collar and then began to beat the living day lights out of him. Ryou got a perverse pleasure in watching the hapless idiot get beat into unconsciousness. He was getting more like Bakura day by day.  
  
"Is he real?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"Nope." Ryou answered as Honda was thrown to the floor in an unconscious heap.  
  
The other three dream people backed away from Bakura. Now Ryou wanted to really end this! A devious smile played across his face. Oh yes! Anzu's turn!  
  
"Anyone else?" Bakura asked Ryou.  
  
"SHE WAS MEAN TO ME!" He pointed at Anzu. "SHE PRETENDED NOT TO KNOW ME!!"  
  
Yuugi couldn't help but giggle at Ryou's antics. He had no idea his friend was like this. The tears were forgotten as he watched Anzu run for her life. That left only Yami and Jou. Yuugi really didn't want to see Yami hurt. He hadn't said a thing. Jou on the other hand.but then he wouldn't say that in real life.  
  
"Yuugi! Make him stop this now!" Yami demanded.  
  
"I can't. You're not real Yami and neither is Jounouchi." Yuugi sighed as they faded.  
  
"MWAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! COME BACK BITCH!!!" Bakura shouted. "I still have your shirt! I wanna see your cans!"  
  
"BAKURA!!!!" Ryou shouted in disgust. "Even in my dreams, he's still a psychoperve!"  
  
"Yes my love?" Bakura came back into the room with the torn shirt in hand.  
  
"Refrain from feeling her up and just throw her out of here!" Ryou ordered.  
  
"Can I feel you up?" Bakura waggled his eye brows.  
  
"No! This is getting out of hand! Disappear!" With that, dream Bakura disappeared. "If that were really Bakura, he'd chop his own hands off before even touching her."  
  
Ryou collapsed to the couch as Yuugi did also. The albino just sat there disappointed at something as Yuugi wondered about his feelings for Yami. Would someone else with Yami really make him jealous? Seeing Yami's face buried in Anzu's neck.Gods! Was he confused!  
  
"Yuugi, what was that about?" Ryou asked. "Why did you dream about your friends like that?"  
  
"I don't know." Yuugi admitted. "I have this dream repeatedly sometimes."  
  
"Do you regret wishing Yami his own life?" Ryou asked. "Is your own self-esteem that bad?"  
  
"No. I just feel like I was never meant to be part of their lives." Yuugi admitted. "I still felt like I was the outcast, you know? I mean, Yami is charismatic, a born leader and strong. I'm weak and I'm not like him."  
  
"I'm not like Bakura, thank God!" Ryou growled. "Yuugi, when I became friends with you, it wasn't to get close to Yami. I would love to punch out your other half, because he can be an arrogant bastard some times." Ryou turned toward Yuugi noticing the tears begin to stream down. "Do the others see in you what I see?"  
  
"What do you see?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"I see someone who everyone missed out on. You had such a huge heart and you still do. I don't know of anyone who would have given up three million dollars so their best friend's sister would see again. You gave selflessly to everyone, but I didn't see anyone except Jounouchi really give back. I know you don't do things to get things out of people, but it would be nice if someone did something really special for you." Ryou stated.  
  
"You sound like Yami." Yuugi groaned.  
  
"So, I'm not the only one, hmmm?" Ryou shook his head. "Yuugi, you don't have to be as charismatic as Yami, or a clown like Jounouchi or outgoing like Anzu. We are all different, and yes, we all strive to be what we perceive is the better person. You can't. There is no better person. If your friends could not see the wonderful person that you are, then they don't deserve your friendship. For them to even think that you should be honored to be in their presence makes them really despicable in my book."  
  
"Thanks Ryou. I wish we could have been friends first." Yuugi smiled.  
  
"Call me anytime you want to talk. I think I'll have to wake up soon so I can run from Bakura before he gets home." Ryou got up from the couch.  
  
"Why would you want to do that?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"Have you ever had a horny three thousand year old Egyptian constantly wanting to get into your pants?" Ryou asked.  
  
"No." Yuugi answered.  
  
"Don't ever wish it! I have to constantly put him in line." Ryou huffed. "See you later, Yuugi." Ryou vanished.  
  
It was silent. Yami walked into the townhouse part behind the game shop. Where was the old man? Where was Yuugi? He wanted to share his victory with his Aibou. By Rah, was Yuugi missing a lot. He had celebrated his victory by buying his light a little gift. He hoped Yuugi would like it. Of course he'd like it.he liked anything that the pharaoh gave him. Yami wished women were more like Yuugi.  
  
"Yuugi? Aibou? I'm home." Yami shouted up the stairs.  
  
His light was there, but why wasn't he responding? Rushing up the stairs, the pharaoh quickly trekked toward Yuugi's room and then opened the door. Looking in, he found his light leaning over his homework sleeping. Tears streamed down from his eyes. Why was he so sad?  
  
Walking over to Yuugi, Yami bent over the sleeping form. Moving some of the blond bangs back, Yami felt his heart break. What would make his little one cry?  
  
"Yuugi." Yami spoke softly. "Wake up little one." He moved his hand down to the teen's shoulder squeezing it slightly. "I'm home."  
  
"Yami." He whispered. "Where's Ryou?"  
  
"What? Was he here earlier? I cannot imagine Bakura letting him out of his sight." Yami shook his head.  
  
"No. I had a dream and he was there with me telling me it wasn't real." Yuugi whispered. "It was so horrible to begin with."  
  
"Really?" Yami leaned on the side of the desk. "I never heard of that happening, but I guess there is always a first time. So, what was the dream about?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." Yuugi answered wearily. "I just want to sleep."  
  
"Maybe you should try getting into your bed first." Yami pointed out as he stood up.  
  
Yuugi became fully aware of where he was. Looking around, he knew full well he had fallen asleep while studying for his classes. Why the hell did he not get into bed if he was tired? He turned toward Yami who seemed to have a less than pleased look on his face.  
  
"Yami? It really is you, right?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"Yes. Why do you ask?" The pharaoh wondered what was going on.  
  
"Nothing.did you win?" Yuugi wanted to change the subject.  
  
"Of course. I won the money." Yami smiled. "Where do we go and celebrate?"  
  
"We?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"Of course. You and I. Who else would there be?" Yami quirked any eyebrow. "I don't want your little friends around. We could invite Bakura and Ryou if you want. I actually like them."  
  
"Sure." Yuugi smiled actually liking that idea.  
  
Yami could not help but feel that Yuugi was a bit depressed. Sitting down on the bed staring at his other half, the pharaoh wanted to continue the previous conversation that the other refused to talk about.  
  
"Yuugi, what did you wake up from that you saw Ryou in." Yami asked.  
  
"I said I didn't want to talk about it." Yuugi put his head back down on the desk.  
  
"You're going to have to or I'll ask Ryou myself." Yami crossed his arms over his muscular chest refusing to budge. "Well?"  
  
"I had a nightmare, that's all." Yuugi started. "Nothing to really worry about."  
  
"I am worried. You were crying and you were acting really strangely when you were waking up. You were surprised to see that I was even there. Why?"  
  
"Do you really want to know, because Ryou already lectured me." Yuugi groaned.  
  
"I don't care if he did or not. I want to hear it." Yami demanded.  
  
"It was about you, Anzu, Jou and Honda. You were all downstairs and you were all talking and having a good time. When I came downstairs and said hello, you all glared at me like I didn't belong. It was like you all hated me. I always felt I didn't belong before. I guess the dream keeps reinforcing that." Yuugi's voice died to a whisper.  
  
"First of all, that's never going to happen.me hanging out with them. Secondly, I have told you a million times to stop doubting your self worth to others." Yami started.  
  
"And I told you I already heard this lecture from Ryou." Yuugi looked toward Yami. "I'm sorry. It's just hurts you know? I mean, I thought Honda was my friend. Anzu is my friend, but not the way we use to be. Nobody but you and Jou even talk to me."  
  
"Why would you lump me in the same boat as Jounouchi? Of course I'd still talk to you. I do care about you a great deal more than your so- called friends." Yami sighed. "We share the same soul. It would hurt me a great deal if I wasn't near you. Not just only physically, but emotionally as well."  
  
"That doesn't make me feel any better." Yuugi stated.  
  
"What, the distance part?" Yami asked.  
  
"The one person, who shares the same soul as me, would be hurt if he was separated from me. Doesn't it sorta bother you that you can't live your own life apart from me even with your own body? I mean, you're stuck with me." Yuugi stated.  
  
"The same goes for you, Aibou." Yami smirked. "Oh, and I got you a little something while I was in Tokyo." He reached into the pocket of his leather jacket, stood up and then walked toward his light. "This is for you." He placed the new choker there, a new leather buckle with a gothic cross on it. "It screamed your name."  
  
"Thanks." Yuugi smiled as he took the new choker in his hands and then looked at it with renewed enthusiasm. "It's pretty."  
  
"I thought so." Yami leaned against the desk again. "I'm going to get some rest. I'll call Bakura and see if they'll come over. Tell your grandfather we're having guests over tomorrow." He walked out the door to his own room.  
  
"Sure." Yuugi smiled at him.  
  
"My parents kept trying to have a son because they felt their daughter could not take on the responsibility to be the Tomb Guardian. Then I was born and my father kept me underground with the rest of the family. We never saw the outside world. I did see it though and it was wonderful. Do you know what it's like to see the outside world for the first time? Anyway, I came back and my father tried to kill me, but I got him! I killed him! Then I wanted to kill the pharaoh. I hate that little son of a bitch! I wish I never had these markings on my back! Can you totally relate?" Marik asked Malik.  
  
"You totally described my life, you idiot!" Malik shot back.  
  
"Yes, and you need to seek some help." Marik grinned.  
  
"Go fuck yourself! You're the reason I killed my father! You killed him you prick!" Malik almost screamed at him.  
  
"Actually, we both did." Marik sighed. "Now, I'm going to kill the pharaoh! First, I'm going to get his bite sized light!"  
  
"He ain't bite sized anymore." Malik dead panned.  
  
"SHUT UP!" Marik shouted. "Then I'm going to capture Ryou, take nude pictures of him and then sell them to Play Girl and other magazines that'll take his images! Then I'm going to take picture of Ryou and Bakura together as blackmail to get them to do whatever I want!"  
  
"Uh, I don't think that'll work! Bakura is going to demand for copies." Malik reminded his insane side as Marik gave him a puzzled look. "Don't look at me like that. Bakura runs a bondage club. What you're doing makes no sense."  
  
"Isn't Ryou rich?" Marik asked.  
  
"So?" Malik answered crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"Part of royalty?" Marik continued.  
  
"And?"  
  
"THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES!" Marik shouted back.  
  
"You're stupid, you know that?" Malik pointed out. "You'd be better of taking nude pictures of the Queen of England and getting better black mail material for money than taking nude pics of Ryou!"  
  
"BUT I WANNA TAKE NUDE PICTURES OF RYOU!!" Marik whined.  
  
"Ugh! Could you get any more annoying or perverse?" Malik groaned. "Do what you want! It's not like I'm going to get blamed for it!"  
  
"Do you think taking nude pictures of the Pharaoh would be great black mail material?" Marik asked.  
  
"NO!! What the hell does he have that you could black mail him with! I don't want to see him or Yuugi nude because I know THAT'S coming next!" Malik scolded. "Yuugi nude is too scary to think about!"  
  
"That's true." Marik's shoulders slumped. "So if we got Ryou drunk, do you think he would do a strip tease?" His eyes lit up.  
  
"WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT RYOU YOU PERVERT*!!" Malik screamed at him. "You're worse than a kid with Attention Deficit Disorder! Would you please stick to one plan or just let me and Mobuka go and get a life!"  
  
"NO! I must destroy the Pharaoh and then rule the World!" Marik exclaimed to all who could hear him.  
  
"Oh goody! You're back on track!" Malik deadpanned.  
  
TBC.  
  
*I was thinking about that parrot from Scary Movie 2 at the end that told that girl to shut the F*ck up before he hangs himself. 


	12. Bakura almost scores, Yami's Obsession, ...

ELEVEN  
  
Ryou moaned in unadulterated pleasure as he felt someone lick and nip at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Gods, it felt soooooooooo good. A smile broke out slowly as he felt warm large hands move up the sides of his body, the fingers leaving behind its feathery touches.  
  
"Mmmmmmmmmmm." He moaned as he felt those hot lips move up to his cheek. "Gods, that feels so nice."  
  
"I'm glad you think so!" A voice roused him from his sleep.  
  
Opening his sleepy eyes, Ryou's eyes widened impossibly. He was staring right into Bakura's narrow brown eyes. He was leaning over him, both hands flat on either side of him, his hard stomach pressed against the albino's arousal and oh, was Ryou going to so kill him!  
  
"GET.OFF!" Ryou gritted his teeth.  
  
"Nope." Bakura smiled deviously. "Not gonna happen."  
  
"Why must you do this to me?" Ryou sighed knowing Bakura would not get off of him. "What have I done to deserve this?"  
  
"You were born to look like an angel that I want to fowl!" Bakura licked his lips.  
  
"Thank you so much for that sentiment." Ryou layed back down, staring at the ceiling.  
  
"You're welcome! Anytime!" Bakura went back to play with Ryou's neck.  
  
"Ugh.Bakura!" Ryou took a hold of the pervert by either sides of his head and then pushed him off the bed.  
  
A thud was heard followed by an "OUCH!!" Ryou sighed to himself knowing what was to come. He would never hear the end of it!  
  
"Damn it, Ryou! I hurt my head!" Bakura grunted as he sat up rubbing the sore spot behind his head.  
  
"And not a single brain cell was damaged." Ryou concluded.  
  
"Har Har! Very funny!" Bakura growled.  
  
"Put ice on it." Ryou simply stated.  
  
"Could you get me some?" Bakura asked as Ryou winced.  
  
"Yes Bakura.for the sake of my sanity I will get you some!" Ryou got out of the bed and walked out of the room.  
  
"COULD YOU GET ME A BEER TOO?" Bakura shouted after him as the phone began to ring. "Aw shit! Who's calling at this fucking hour!" He grunted as he reached around for the phone. "Why can't they come up with something more easier?" He hit the talk button. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!!"  
  
"Is my son there?" The voice on the other end demanded.  
  
"Oh Rah! It's the father in name only! FUCK OFF!" Bakura shouted into the receiver.  
  
"I need to speak to my son. It's a matter of family importance." He stated calmly.  
  
"Oh? I think you gave up that right to call him family when you threw him out of your life!" Bakura pointed out.  
  
"Bakura, who is it?" Ryou walked back into the room handing his other the ice pack.  
  
"Your going to be dead father!" Bakura handed Ryou the receiver in exchange for the beer in his other hand. "I'm going into the kitchen! Come in there after your enlightening conversation!"  
  
"Are you okay?" Ryou asked, his hand over the bottom part of the phone.  
  
"I'm fine." He grumbled as he walked out.  
  
Shaking his head, Ryou uncovered the bottom part of the receiver. Bakura really must hate his father to act this way. The last thing he needed was his father coming between the two of them.  
  
"Yes father." Ryou sighed.  
  
"How are you doing?" He asked as Ryou sat down on the edge of the bed.  
  
"I doubt my welfare is on your mind. Get to the point." Ryou demanded rather uncharacteristically.  
  
"My mother, the Queen is coming in tonight. Her arrival was rather unannounced and last minute. Come to the airport tonight to meet her." He demanded.  
  
"Please just make an excuse for my absence." Ryou stated. "I really don't feel like being part of a shallow reunion."  
  
"You know we have to keep up appearances." His father stated.  
  
"Of course. If I must be there, I will bring Bakura with me." Ryou smiled deviously hearing his father protest on the other end.  
  
"YOU WILL NOT BRING THAT DEVIANT WITH YOU!!!" His father shouted on the other end as Ryou held the receiver from his ear.  
  
"Oh, but I will." Ryou held the phone to his ear again. "You see father, where I go, he goes. After all, he is here because I exist. I told you what the Sennen Ring was. Do I have to repeat it to you?"  
  
"I cannot believe that you can be the reincarnation of that piece of crap." His father stated.  
  
"Oh, but I am his other half, the light side. We are no way alike." Ryou explained to him. "It's that two halves that make us whole." He continued on knowing the drama would make his father sick.  
  
"Please don't tell me that." His father almost gagged on the other end.  
  
"Oh father, how many people find their other halves? Besides myself and Yuugi, I doubt anyone else has." Ryou could hear his father groan in disbelief on the other end. "You just don't know how it is to be close to someone you feel you knew all of your life."  
  
"Enough! Anymore and I am going to be sick!" His father protested.  
  
"That was the point!" Ryou became angry. "Really father! I'm not part of your family anymore so what would Bakura's presence hurt! I am bringing Yami and Yuugi with us also. Yami is a Pharaoh after all and I think it would be a good experience for him to see other royalty."  
  
"NO!! You will not, under any circumstances, bring that leather clad freak with you!" His father protested.  
  
Yup! That would really give his father something to sweat about! He would have to call Yuugi up and invite the both of them after he hung up with his father.  
  
"I am so glad you approve! We'll all be there! What time?" Ryou asked sweetly.  
  
"You are doing this to embarrass me, aren't you?" His father asked.  
  
"What time father." Ryou became rather impatient.  
  
"Six pm. British Airways. Don't be late." His father hung up.  
  
Sighing, Ryou put the phone face down on the bed. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts; he did not notice Bakura at the doorway.  
  
"Why don't you bring Marik too? We'll have a party." Bakura stated sarcastically.  
  
"I'd rather bring Seto and Jou and let them go at it." Ryou sighed. "God knows they would cause security to drag their arguing selves away!"  
  
"That would be entertaining. Why do you want Yuugi and the Pharaoh to come?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Why not? My father thinks you're a deviant, so why not bring more people just to piss him off." Ryou reasoned.  
  
"You want the pharaoh there to keep me under control." Bakura stated flatly.  
  
"Maybe." Ryou hinted.  
  
"You don't trust me to behave?" Bakura asked.  
  
"No. I know you too well. I don't care if you embarrass my father! I just don't want you doing something that will make security throw you in jail!" Ryou pointed out.  
  
"You're no fun!" Bakura huffed. "Call them if it makes you happy! Now I can't drag you into the bathroom and."  
  
"BAKURA!!!" Ryou shouted at him as the pervert ran out of the room.  
  
"What the hell is Karma sutra?" Yami raised a brow reading a book on the Many Ways of Having Sex Without Ever Having to Fake an Orgasm Again!. "Who writes these books?? Nymphomaniacs?"  
  
Yuugi was at his desk studying for his next exam. He wished Bakura would have never given his other that book to read! Poor Ryou! Yuugi shuddered to think at what the albino had to put up with from Bakura!  
  
"Why would someone want to fake an orgasm?" Yami asked as Yuugi blanched. "Aibou, have you ever talked to anyone about this?"  
  
"Yami, I don't think that is a very appropriate subject to talk about to another person." Yuugi pointed out.  
  
"I always hear women talk about it very freely." Yami retorted.  
  
"Of course you would. They're comparing their husbands or boyfriends." Yuugi shook his head.  
  
"Why would they do that? Do they plan to swap mates for comparison purposes?" Yami could hear Yuugi's head thump on the desk. "What did I say?"  
  
"They don't swap." Yuugi groaned. "Just drop it."  
  
"I remember in Egypt." Yami started as Yuugi knew what was coming next. ".when my father would have these grand parties. This sort of event always happened when the Romans came." Literally!-Thought Yuugi. "They would have this grand orgy at the end of the night and I would always have to go to bed early because my father thought I was too young. One day, I snuck out and I watched and everyone was having sex with each other and switching partners. How come they don't have those anymore?"  
  
"They do. You just don't hear about them." Yuugi stated. "I wouldn't even try it. You don't know what disease the other person has."  
  
"Disease from sex? Do you have any?" Yami asked.  
  
"No! I never had sex!" Yuugi shot back getting uncomfortable with the conversation. "Can I study now?"  
  
"Of course, Aibou! Go right ahead." Yami went back to reading.  
  
Yuugi made sure his other was lying comfortably on the bed, engrossed in his reading before he went back to studying. Sighing in relief, Yuugi turned back to his studies.  
  
"Hey Yuugi, want to try position 102?" Yami teased as he felt a stuffed toy thrown at him. "MISTER BEAR!!" Yami picked up the stuffed toy. "Where have you been all my life? He's just so adorable!" Yami hugged the toy as Yuugi got up from his seat and stomped toward his other self.  
  
Yuugi wrenched the stuffed toy from Yami's grasp and then hit the pharaoh over the head with it lightly. Taking the opening, Yami grabbed the teen around his waist and then pulled him into the bed.  
  
"YAMI!!" Yuugi yelled. "What are you doing!"  
  
"I like my bears bigger and cuddlier." Yami almost squeezed the life out of Yuugi.  
  
"STOP!! YOU'RE KILLING ME!" Yuugi choked out as Yami laughed, letting his Aibou go. "Yami, why did you do that?"  
  
"Do what?" Yami asked as the phone rang. "You want me to answer that?"  
  
"No. I'll get it." Yuugi picked up the phone. "Hello, Yuugi speaking!" He heard hard breathing at the other end. "Uh, hello?"  
  
"Are you alone little boy?" A deep voice panted out.  
  
"Hello Bakura. What do you want?" Yuugi dead panned.  
  
"Aw damn! How did you know!" Bakura huffed on the other end.  
  
"You need to change the record!" Yuugi answered. "Does Ryou want to speak to me? I sure know you don't."  
  
"Yes he does. Hold on.hey bunny! Yuugi's on the phone!" Bakura shouted as the phone was transferred over the other.  
  
"BAKURA!!! GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF THERE!!" Ryou shouted as Bakura began to cackle. "Hello Yuugi. How are you and your other?"  
  
"We're fine." Yuugi noticed Yami just stare at him with an eye brow raised. "What's going on?"  
  
"I need you and Yami to come with me to the airport with Bakura and me." Ryou started. "I know this is an unusual request, but my grandmother, the Queen of England, is coming sooner than expected."  
  
"That's a scary visual." Bakura commented in the background as Ryou groaned in disgust.  
  
"Anyway, my father is less than pleased that Bakura is coming. He's even more less than pleased that your Yami will be there, but I need him to keep Bakura from getting into trouble. I don't care if he embarrasses my father, I just don't want him getting arrested." Ryou started. "We'll come pick you up if you'd like."  
  
"Just a sec." Yuugi put his hand on the bottom receiver. "Ummm.Yami?"  
  
"Yes, Aibou?" He began reading the book again.  
  
"Ryou wants us to go with him to the airport." Yuugi stated.  
  
"Is Bakura going to be there?" Yami asked.  
  
"Yep." Yuugi answered.  
  
"I'll be there with some handcuffs if he gets out of control." Yami stated. "Do you know that there are many uses for handcuffs, Aibou? Not that I'd try it with him. I'd rather hang him from a lamp post and let the authorities find him there."  
  
"Uh.no..." Yuugi trailed off as he lifted his hand from the receiver. "We'll be there."  
  
"Great! We'll be there at four thirty. Ja!" The line went dead.  
  
Yuugi slowly hung up the phone as Yami kept reading the book. He watched his other's eyes widen at some of the examples on the page.  
  
"Yami, why do you keep reading that?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"Ideas, Aibou, ideas." Yami stated absently. "This position looks painful!" He stated as Yuugi cringed. "I have to give this book back to Bakura anyway. What makes Ryou think I wouldn't want to cause chaos with his other half anyway?"  
  
"I'm not coming up with the bail money if you get arrested!" Yuugi stated firmly.  
  
"Damn.oh well.guess I'll have to behave." He grinned at the next section. "Now this is more like it. Oh yes! I MUST try that position."  
  
"With whom may I ask?" Yuugi was so getting tired of that book!  
  
"Come over here and find out." Yami shut the book and then grinned deviously.  
  
Yuugi blushed beet red and then ran out of the room as Yami collapsed back laughing. His other half was so innocent, it made for good comedy to do that to him.  
  
"Come back, Aibou! I was just kidding!" He shouted between fits of laughter.  
  
"HEEHEEHEEHEE!!! THAT TICKLES!!!" Marik was so engrossed with the doll he was playing with.  
  
"Will you PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF RAH, burn that damned doll!" Malik growled.  
  
"I love Tickle Me Elmo!" Marik pouted.  
  
"You're pathetic! You know that?" Malik sighed in disgust. "What I'm saying? You're insane!"  
  
"WHERE IS MY BROTHER!!!" Was heard on the other side of the room.  
  
"Oh great! I'm Loud as Hell Mokuba has woken up." Malik groaned.  
  
"SHUT UP BRAT OR I'LL SEND YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM!!" Marik shouted.  
  
Not another word was spoken.  
  
"Works every time! Heh!" Marik went back to playing with the doll.  
  
"If you don't shut that stupid doll up, I will SCREAM!!" Malik threatened.  
  
"Do you think Ryou screams during sex?" Marik asked absently.  
  
"How would I know?" Malik wondered where this was going. "Why would you want to know?"  
  
"I want to woo him and then I want to marry him." Marik smiled insanely.  
  
"Okay.when did you go from wanting to kill Ryou to marrying him? You can't marry him you idiot! He's another guy!" Malik wanted to smack his head against the wall.  
  
"Bakura's getting close to him. Maybe they'll get married." Marik pointed out.  
  
"I wouldn't put it past Bakura to try that." Malik growled. "At least he's SANE to some degree!"  
  
"You would know that mostly, wouldn't you?" Marik stared at his other half.  
  
"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN!!!" Malik demanded.  
  
"When you and he inhabited Ryou's body, you both seemed to work together for a short time before you both started arguing when facing me in the Battle City finals. It's too bad though. I thought I banished him and Ryou to the Shadow Realm. It's a good thing that Ryou is back. Can't say the same for the other half!" He held the Elmo doll in front of him. "What do you think Elmo?"  
  
"I think you should go fuck yourself!" Malik imitated the voice.  
  
"That's not nice, Elmo! You're supposed to be my best friend." Marik pouted. "Oh well! To the Shadow Realm with you!" And that went the poor Elmo doll never to be seen again.and Malik was happy!  
  
TBC. 


	13. EEE's, Yami scores and Bakura gets a raw...

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a die hard fan, hate Shonen- ai or have no sense of humor, this isn't for you.  
  
TWELVE  
  
"Whoever has my little brother Mokuba, you better state your terms or I will use whatever resources are at my disposal to flush you out! If you do not comply within 24 hours, I will make good on my threat!" The camera turned off.  
  
Seto let out of a frustrated sigh as he raked his shaky hands through his short brown hair. Who the hell would have his brother and why haven't they stated their terms yet? Did he fall victim to some psycho?  
  
'Where is he? I know he's robbing some poor vendor somewhere! I just know it! He doesn't care that he worries me! Doesn't care that he might get arrested! What does the pharaoh do? Just sits here and does nothing! I swear! I am going to so kill Bakura when he comes back!' Ryou growled in his mind as he kept reading the romance novel in his hands.  
  
"I'm baaaaaaaack!" A voice sing songed from behind them.  
  
Bakura jumped over the seats right into his own between Ryou and the pharaoh. The albino just ignored him as Yami was intrigued by what Bakura had brought back. Slipping a magazine out of a brown paper bag, the two stared at the magazine they were reading. Ryou spared a glance. Jugs? Figures! Bakura would want to see women's obvious features! If he liked women, why did Bakura want him?  
  
"What did you get?" Yami asked as Bakura opened the center of the book. "WOW!! Not even any Queens of Egypt had that!"  
  
"This is the magazine that pays homage to those fortunate women who have triple E sized chests." Bakura grinned deviously.  
  
"Or a back ache." Ryou shot back.  
  
"Awww.is my poor little Ryou jealous?" Bakura teased. "I can have them surgically enhance your chest if you'd like. I'd say, maybe a double D?"  
  
"No thanks. I'm perfectly happy being what I am. Go back to your smut." Ryou stated calmly.  
  
Bakura raised a brow. His Ryou didn't even raise his voice.he was scared.very scared.  
  
"As I was saying." He turned back toward Yami. "I think you can get some of these gals, pharaoh. After all, you are the top dueling champion of the world! They wouldn't pass up an opportunity of having your baby. Maybe we can double team one!"  
  
Ryou wanted to yank Bakura's hair out at that moment. How dare him!!! One minute the pervert is all over him and professing his love and the next he's slobbering over triple E sized breasts.  
  
"No thanks, Bakura. I have my eyes set on someone else." Yami looked away from the magazine, thought about it, and then joined Bakura in staring at the women. "Are those real??"  
  
"Couldn't stay away from the dark side, could ya!" Bakura grinned deviously.  
  
"I could put my head between those! Oh how just for one night." Yami smiled stupidly as Yuugi quirked an eye brow.  
  
"Can I see?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"You're too young!" Bakura shot back. "Besides, it might corrupt your little mind!"  
  
"I'VE SEEN ANZU'S!!" That got him stares from all three people. "She flashed me once when we were alone."  
  
"You haven't turned to stone?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Why would I? Are they dangerous?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"Uh.yeah!" A devious grin appeared on the thief's face. "You see, Yuugi, if you stare too long, their magical powers will punish you! They either turn you to stone or poke your eyes out. You will never see for the rest of your life! If I were you, I'd go for someone flat chested!"  
  
Yuugi shuddered and then went back to his Rubiks cube. He twisted the sides faster and faster trying to get the colors to match.  
  
"Bakura, why must you tease my Aibou?" Yami sighed.  
  
"He's easy?" Bakura answered as Ryou hit him over the head with the novel he was reading. "HEY!"  
  
"Behave yourself." Ryou went back to reading.  
  
"I don't want to." Bakura pouted as he glomped onto Ryou. "Can't I have a few moments with you alone?"  
  
"Not now Bakura." Ryou sighed as he pushed off the offending glomper. "Later."  
  
"Is she going to be here yet?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Soon." Ryou promised.  
  
It was at that unfortunate moment that his father with his soon-to-be wife and son appeared. Ryou tried not to pay attention to them, but unfortunately, Bakura did not believe in leaving well enough alone.  
  
"Ryou!" His father almost made him jump out of his seat. "Your grandmother's plane has landed."  
  
"Well lookie here! If it isn't the wimp and his slut! I hope you made a big enough cake for the wedding 'cause you ain't gonna be eatin' it!" Bakura smirked at the two.  
  
"You're disgusting." Ryou's father simply stated as he looked down at what Bakura and the Pharaoh were reading. "I can't believe you two are reading that smut!"  
  
"Oh? What do you call the Barbie doll standing next to you?" Bakura grinned deviously.  
  
"Do NOT insult my fiancé!" He seethed.  
  
"ENOUGH!!" Ryou intervened. "Let's all just sit down and wait." He turned toward Bakura. "Please behave yourself. The last thing I need is for you to make a bad impression. At least if you make a good impression, my grandmother can't take his side!"  
  
"Why would she?" Bakura questioned as Ryou sighed, getting closer to Bakura, his mouth close to his ear.  
  
"If you don't behave yourself, you will find my knee painfully in your groin. Understand?" Ryou growled in his ear.  
  
"Clearly." Bakura whispered back as they both sat down in the oversized chairs.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Yami was scheming a little plot in his own mind. It was time to move his relationship with his Aibou a bit farther and claim what was his! Oh yes! Today would determine whether or not he really felt what he felt for his other half. Besides.he was bored.  
  
"Aibou? Could you show me where the restrooms are?" Yami asked innocently as Ryou's eyes widened and Bakura snickered. "Pretty please?"'  
  
"Can you both wait until my grandmother arrives?" Ryou asked.  
  
"I have to really REALLY go." Yami smiled innocently as the albino glared at him.  
  
"Oh please, Yami! I think.Umph!" Bakura covered his mouth.  
  
"Go ahead! Hurry up though or you'll miss the Queen!" Bakura waved them off.  
  
Yuugi slowly got up and then led his other self toward the direction of the restrooms. He was clueless as to why Yami needed his help. As they disappeared out of sight, Bakura let go of Ryou.  
  
"Ugh! Bakura I'm going to kill you!" Ryou almost shouted at him. "I know exactly what that Pharaoh is up to! How does he know Yuugi even feels that way about him!"  
  
"He saw Anzu's breasts. Is that enough to go screaming to your other self?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Bad point." Ryou huffed. "Really Bakura! He could have waited until my grandmother arrived!"  
  
"If he misses her, so what!" Bakura snorted. "I'm here. That should count more."  
  
"It does. I think it's just plain rude!" Ryou huffed as Bakura placed an arm around his light shoulders.  
  
"Don't worry! They'll be back in a few minutes. There's not much room to do anything anyway." Bakura reassured Ryou as the albino gave him a strange look.  
  
"How would you know?" Ryou demanded.  
  
"My secret." Bakura grinned as the two enjoyed the momentary silence.  
  
The family sat there awaiting the arrival of the jet carrying the Queen. The runway was full of planes and it would be awhile before she arrived, gracing her presence to her ever loving family. Ryou leaned against Bakura. The albino's father's fiancé complained in a whisper about the public display as her son looked at them in jealousy! He wanted Ryou!  
  
"FASTER YAMI!!! FASTER!!" Broke the silence. "OH GOD!!!"  
  
Ryou almost choked on the air he was breathing. Bakura laughed hysterically as other people awaiting arrivals did also. Mister Bakura pretended he did not know those people.  
  
"BY RAH!!!!" They could hear Yami's deeper voice. "OH YUUGI!!! GODS, YOU'RE SO TIGHT!!"  
  
"Oh shit! This is too much!" Bakura was practically on the floor gasping for air. "We-we need to in-invite them out more often!"  
  
"Let's not and say we did." Ryou groaned.  
  
What had happened? What was he thinking? Yuugi came back to full awareness as he felt Yami's head against the back of his neck, his breath ticking his hair. Did that really happen? Did Yami really take him like that? His fantasies weren't even this close!  
  
"Wow." Yami whispered. "That was mind blowing."  
  
"Yeah.I think the whole airport shared our experience." Yuugi pointed out breathless. "Yami, how are we going to face everyone? After all, aren't you well known?"  
  
"Do you think I care?" Yami asked. "It'll keep unwanted people away from me."  
  
"No. Quite the opposite." Yuugi pointed out. "They'll want to try to turn your head toward them, you know, you're adoring public? Umm.you could have told me how you felt before this you know. This isn't how I imagined my first time."  
  
"Were you expecting rose petals? Candles lit everywhere? A bed so soft you can sink in it? I could arrange all that." Yami chuckled as Yuugi wanted to bang his own head against the wall.  
  
"I'm sure you could." Yuugi felt Yami turn him around. "Grandpa is going to be so disappointed."  
  
"I don't care. The world is overpopulated as it is." Yami grinned.  
  
"That was corny." Yuugi wrinkled his nose.  
  
"Well, yeah, but it's a good argument." Yami licked the tip of Yuugi's nose.  
  
"Ugh.Yami!" Yuugi scowled as the pharaoh laughed out loud.  
  
"You are so cute Aibou." Yami calmed himself down. "We had better clean ourselves up and get back."  
  
'This isn't happing! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening!' Ryou kept repeating the mantra over in his head.  
  
//Hey Ryou, stop chanting. It's happening. //Bakura snickered.  
  
/AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! / He screamed through their mind link as Bakura fell on the floor clutching either side of his head.  
  
"Could you PLEASE warn me next time you decide to do that!" Bakura growled.  
  
"Sorry." Ryou smiled as he reached down and helped Bakura off the floor. "I guess I overreacted."  
  
"Yes, I dare say you did!" Bakura plopped down beside him, his arm resting where he felt it belonged. "Sooooo, is she here yet?"  
  
"No." Ryou answered.  
  
"Is she here yet?" Bakura asked again.  
  
"No!" Ryou wondered what Bakura was doing!  
  
"Is she here yet?" Bakura grinned deviously.  
  
"NO DAMN IT!! NOW SHUT UP!!" Ryou shouted making Bakura shrink back.  
  
"Are you sure you don't need Midol?" Bakura asked as Ryou turned away from his crazy other, arms crossed angrily over his chest.  
  
Later.  
  
The plane had finally reached the terminal.of course they had to refuel the plane because it spent too much time out on the crowded runway.  
  
The terminal was deserted due to security. The Bakura Family, Bakura, Yami and a sleepy Yuugi stood up awaiting the arrival of her majesty.  
  
"What's so great about this Queen that they had to clear the concourse?" Yami growled.  
  
"Awww! Is the Pharaoh jealous? I thought you'd be in a better mood after you nailed Yuugi!" Bakura snickered. "It gives "Go Fuck yourself" a whole new meaning."  
  
"Oh shut up Bakura!" Yami crossed his arms over his chest. "As if YOU aren't trying to do the same! I'm not jealous of the Queen! I'm disgusted!"  
  
"You're jealous! You wish you had this honor when you were pharaoh! OW!!" Yami smacked him upside the head.  
  
"We didn't have planes then you idiot!" Yami growled.  
  
"Wouldn't it be nice if we did? I could have gone national with my skills!" Bakura could see the dollar signs.  
  
"So much for turning over a new leaf." He sighed.  
  
"Look, just because I went legit, doesn't mean I don't think about it once in a while!" Bakura pointed out. "In fact, I have to call my sponsor because I just thought about it!"  
  
"Your sponsor?" The pharaoh raised a brow.  
  
"Yeah! Something called Kleptomaniac's Anonymous." The Tomb Robber wracked his brains. "I go every week. Last week someone stole the notes to the meeting."  
  
"Why did I ask?" Yami groaned.  
  
"Beats the shit out of me." Bakura grinned.  
  
It was at the moment.get ready everyone.that the Queen of England stepped out of the plane and into the terminal. Mister Bakura smiled, his fiancé gasped, her son just examined his fingers, Ryou didn't know what to think, Bakura's eyes were wide as saucers, Yami was plotting her death, and Yuugi was sleeping against Yami.  
  
"GRAN-GRAN-GRANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Bakura shouted as he ran toward the confused woman. "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN THREE THOUSAND YEARS!! DID YOU BRING ME SOME OF YOUR HOMEMADE PIE??!"  
  
"Bakura! Wait! Stop! That's not her!" Ryou shouted after him, too late to stop the crazy other. "YAMI!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO." He noticed Yami had collapsed on the seat laughing as Yuugi was rubbing his head from the fall. ".Never mind." He sighed as he turned away watching security tackle his other to the ground and then beat the crap out of him.  
  
"HAHHAHA!! This is better than reality television!" Yami gasped out. "Someone..get me.some popcorn!"  
  
"Yami.you.fucking.masochistic.bastard!" Bakura managed to shout out as the guards kept beating the shit out of him. "HELP ME!!"  
  
Figuring Yami was not helping the situation; Ryou walked toward the guards and wondered how he would get Bakura out of this. He knelt down noticing how dazed the demon looked.  
  
"Excuse me, could you let him go. He's not a threat.really." Ryou asked softly in his British accent.  
  
"Unhand him! You heard my grandson!" The Queen repeated Ryou's request in a more commanding tone. "Ryou, you do have a right to command them. After all, you are family."  
  
"I don't know." Ryou whispered as the guards let go of Bakura. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I don't know yet. Did you get the license of the elephant that hit me so I can sue?" Bakura passed out.  
  
TBC. 


	14. Yami Gets Some and Bakura Doesn't!

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a die hard fan, have no sense of humor or hate Shonen-Ai, this is not for you.  
  
Warning: There is some sexual content in this. Yami asks that you bring Yuugi a bottle of Evian water. He's too busy right now to stop.  
  
THIRTEEN  
  
Working on cars sort of relaxed him. Going to college was some experience. Katusya never knew how good he could do once he applied himself. There was no real life to really worry about. No father to worry about. No two jobs anymore.  
  
Living with Seto Kaiba wasn't too bad. They rarely saw each other. When they did run into each other, Kaiba was unusually nice. Weird.  
  
Jounouchi found himself thinking of the CEO too much lately. Maybe Honda was right. Maybe he did feel something for the bastard!  
  
Finally done with the final car for the night, Jounouchi carefully let the hood drop back down on the big clunker he was working on. Now he could go home and do some studying before tomorrow.  
  
"I thought you would never get done with that oversized piece of shit." A voice from the doorway to the lobby made Katsuya gasp.  
  
"What?" He turned around to see the one he was thinking about for the past few hours. "Kaiba? What are you doing here?"  
  
"I came here to take you home since you take the bus every night." Seto walked into the garage area. "And it's Seto, not Kaiba." He stopped in front of the "Mutt". "Are you hungry?"  
  
"Yeah. I haven't eaten since this morning. Why?" Jou asked.  
  
"Let's forget the past and become friends. After all, you never know.we may become brothers in law." Seto smirked motioning for Jou to follow him out.  
  
"My worst nightmare comes true! Knock me out with a brick so I can dream something else!" Katsuya rolled his eyes as Seto laughed heartily.  
  
"Great sense of humor, pup! Come on!" The CEO placed an arm around the other. "My treat." That gesture made Katsuya shiver.  
  
"Speaking of that, have you found Mokuba?" Jou turned off the light switch to the garage on the way out.  
  
"No." Seto let him go. "I gave an ultimatum to the kidnapper. He has a few hours left." He watched the blond go through the motions of closing down the store. "You know, I could use a mechanic for my limos. Why don't you quit this place so I can pay you much better for your expertise?"  
  
"Why would you want me when you can service them at the original car dealer?" Jou asked.  
  
"Unlike them, you won't kill the engine." Seto answered. "As I was saying about Mokuba, the kidnapper has a few hours left. After that, I am sending in all my resources to flush out the son of a bitch."  
  
"The police?" Jou walked toward the CEO.  
  
"Them and my other sources." Seto smirked.  
  
"Gee, I'm scared of you. Remind me never to piss you off again!" Jou's sarcasm made the other almost laugh.  
  
"Cute, puppy, cute." Seto shook his head as Jou turned off the lights.  
  
"You came here and offered food and I'm starving. Let's move." Jou smiled deviously at the other.  
  
"You have the appetite of a starved Doberman!" Seto loved to get in the dog jokes.  
  
"Shadup smartass!" Was Jou's retort.  
  
Gods, Seto needed this in his life everyday. Katsuya was the one person who did not fear him next to Yuugi.but the ankle biter and his dark side did nothing for him..well.the dark side did something for him.just not that much! For some reason, it felt wrong to look at the dark side that way. The puppy on the other hand added the adversity he needed in his life. Maybe.  
  
They did it in the other bathrooms. They did it behind the ticket counters giving the blushing ticket agents a free show. By Rah, they even snuck on a jet and locked the cockpit.the name made Yami laugh for five straight minutes. Now the two were too tired to move from said pit and the crew outside banged furiously on the door trying to get in.  
  
"Yami, I think we should let them have their airplane back." Yuugi yawned stretching his arms.  
  
"No." Yami crawled over his other. "Not yet. I'm not finished."  
  
"You were just tired!" Yuugi pointed out. "Don't tell me you got your seventeenth wind already! I can't do it anymore!" He whined as Yami smirked. "How am I going to sit tomorrow?"  
  
"I'll think of something." Yami devoured Yuugi's lips hungrily making the other gasp.  
  
"Stop." Yuugi pushed him up. "What about Ryou and Bakura? We told them we'd be right back!"  
  
"Let them find their own aircraft!" Yami went back to work on his Aibou.  
  
Was this the result of 3000 years of pent up frustration? Yuugi didn't know how much longer he would remain conscious! He could feel those strong fingers work their magic once again. Fingers were working over tense muscles, moving ever so gently lower over either sides of his body, going in ever so lovingly to tease Yuugi's inner thighs. Giving into Yami's will, Yuugi let his other play him like a finely tuned instrument. He knew he would pay for it later, but right now, his mind was too much in a lust filled fog to care.  
  
"Please come out! This aircraft needs to take off. We promise we won't prosecute if you come out now!" The pilot pleaded. "Could you imagine the headlines?" He turned toward the co-pilot. "Aircraft hi-jacked by a couple of Nymphomaniacs?" he shook his head.  
  
"Nope." His co-pilot answered.  
  
"HARDER YAMI, HARDER!!!" Yuugi shouted as he felt his body become wet with perspiration, the excitement building up inside his body.  
  
Yami kept thrusting inside his light, his hand around his light's hard erection. He came at his peak and then filled his light with his own essence. His Aibou came at the same time as if they were in sync, his essence covering Yami's dark hand. Of course they were. They were practically connected at the soul! Both felt sated, both felt each other's overwhelming emotions through the link. As far as he was concerned, Yuugi would never forget this day as long as he lived.that is, if they didn't get thrown in jail!  
  
Yami pulled out, at the same time, pulling the smaller into his arms. Yuugi fell exhausted against him, hoping that his dark was done with his libido for the day. Resting his head on the muscular chest of his other, Yuugi stared across the cockpit at the bottom of the seats, his fingers drawing imaginary circles on his other's muscular chest. He started counting the bolts that held them down.  
  
"That-That was wonderful." Yami purred into Yuugi's soft hair. "I really need to find a place of our own or your grandfather might have a heart attack if he catches us."  
  
"Hmmmmmm..I know." Yuugi moaned, feeling those strong arms tighten their hold around him more. "I never knew you felt this way. I thought you thought I was annoying or something."  
  
"You mean to tell me, we share the same mind, but you were clueless? You really need to open your mind more love." Yami whispered.  
  
"I thought you would want Anzu." Yuugi whispered.  
  
"Her? No. It was you who had those feelings for her, not I." He corrected the smaller. "Anyway, she's not worth my or your time. Speaking of that, we need to leave this place."  
  
"Good, I've had enough anyway. I'm not going to be able to sit tomorrow." Yuugi groaned in thought of that.  
  
"Have I worn you out?" The Dark One had a devious grin on his face. "I didn't mean to." Yuugi glared at him.  
  
"Oh sure you didn't. I think I should have reconsidered after remembering that you might have too much pent up frustration!" Yuugi huffed as his other buried his face in the smaller's neck.  
  
"It was worth it, wasn't it?" Yami began to nip at his neck.  
  
"Mmmmmmmm.Yami, no." Yuugi pushed him off. "We need to leave. Ryou is going to wonder where we are. We were supposed to help him with Bakura, remember?"  
  
"I'd love to help him with Bakura. Help him push him off a bridge somewhere." The other snorted.  
  
"I thought you two were getting along." Yuugi raised a brow.  
  
"Not really, but he's great to get in trouble with." Yami sighed. "We might as well get dressed and give these idiots their plane back."  
  
Bakura had black and blue marks on his face and then everywhere else. As much as Ryou wanted to strip him down, he could not do that even though the terminal was empty. Placing the ice packs over visible bruises, Ryou's long slender fingers ran through the wild mane of the other in order to keep him quiet.  
  
"My grandmother sends her regrets." Ryou broke the silence as Bakura just turned toward his light. "She is looking forward to meeting you though."  
  
Bakura snorted, turning his head away, the pain still overwhelming his body. Ryou took this as rejection as his fingers stopped midway through his hair. This was his entire fault! This was his family's fault.  
  
"Ummm.I-I.I don't know what to really say, Bakura." Ryou almost wailed.  
  
"Don't worry." Bakura turned his head toward his light. "I'm not angry at you. I'm just in a lot of pain. I have not felt this much pain since.well.I can't remember. Maybe."  
  
"Yes?" Ryou asked anxiously, his brown eyes wide. "Anything!"  
  
"If you do a strip tease for me, maybe I'll feel better!" He waggled his eyes.  
  
"BAKURA!!!" Ryou shouted at him, his eyes darkening.  
  
"Oh come on! I want to see all of you. I have never seen all of you.well.I did.but that was when I wasn't really paying attention. CAN YOU PLEASE JUST STRIP FOR ME!!!" Bakura pleaded.  
  
"You are such a pervert, you know that?" Ryou crossed his arms over his chest. "Even when I try to think of you as a gentleman."  
  
"Bakura! Didn't I tell you to treat him with respect?" Yami's voice boomed across the concourse.  
  
"Is that my conscience?" Bakura groaned in dismay.  
  
"No, it's the pharaoh." Ryou countered. "At lease SOMEONE knows how to be respectful!"  
  
"I respect you!" Bakura protested. "I just wanna see your luscious nude body!" He licked his lips. "I want to run my tongue down the center of your beautiful bod."  
  
"Why do I bother?" Ryou groaned in disbelief as Yami and Yuugi sat down in the seats near them.  
  
"How is he?" Yami asked the albino completely ignoring Bakura.  
  
"He'll be ok." Ryou answered.  
  
"Hey! You could have asked me!" Bakura protested.  
  
"Did he get hurt too badly?" The pharaoh asked.  
  
"No. He's just going to continue hurting tomorrow, so I'll be taking care of him." Ryou sighed.  
  
"Helloooooooooooo! Someone talk to me! I want attention! I crave it! I'll light something on fire!" Bakura started. "I'll start singing off.mmph!" Ryou covered his mouth with his hand.  
  
"We can hear you just fine!" Ryou growled. "I wish you would just behave for five seconds!" He felt Bakura's tongue lick underneath his hand. "BAKURA!!! UGH!!" He took his hand away wiping off the saliva on his pants. "Gross!"  
  
"Heh! Wait until it goes into your mouth!" Bakura slowly sat up. "Feels very VERY good! Especially when it travels down your body and inside your nether regions!" His grin darkened as Ryou backed away. "Oh Rah, Ryou! I'm just teasing you!"  
  
"I really wish you would just SHUT UP!!" Ryou got off the ground and then stomped off.  
  
Yuugi's eyes were wide in shock. Yami just crossed his arms as he glared at Bakura. The Tomb Robber was too busy wondering what he would have to steal in order to win Ryou over. Love was just too difficult sometimes! Feeling someone glaring at him, Bakura turned toward the Pharaoh.  
  
"WHAT!" Bakura demanded.  
  
"I couldn't help but notice the strain between you and your son." The Queen finally broke the silence in the car. "Why is there is a rift between you two? It isn't because of that man that is with him is it?"  
  
"I'd rather not talk about it."  
  
"I do, Edward. I really do want to talk about it." She started as his fiancé rolled her eyes. "Why is there a rift? I don't think that man he was with poses a threat to you or your family. In fact, I found him quite fascinating."  
  
"Fascinating is not the word to describe that demon." He growled. "He is not exactly the reason I'm not talking to my son though. Bakura is just part of it."  
  
"His name is Bakura, is it?" She raised a brow.  
  
"Yes. I've asked Ryou to break off that relationship, but he just gets closer to him. He claims they share the same soul or something like that." He was not about to tell his mother where Bakura came from.she probably wouldn't believe it.  
  
"Soul mates? How cute." She smiled. "They look very good together."  
  
"You approve?" Edward asked incredibly shocked.  
  
"Of course. Why wouldn't I. At least someone is looking out for your son. The way you two acted, you would think you both were total strangers!" She scolded. "How could you turn your son away like that? You don't think I see what's going on? New wife? New step son? No room in your life for your other family?" She glared at his fiancé. "And you, I am sure you are the reason they are not talking! I am sure Ryou's preferences are what made you force the issue! If that man wasn't there for my grandson, then where would he have gone, Edward! He was going to college on a scholarship, a medical college like you told me."  
  
"Not anymore." His fiancé said in a low voice.  
  
"What do you mean, not anymore?" She demanded. "Why isn't he going!"  
  
"Because he was tossed out." She answered. "They found out he worked in an unsavory environment."  
  
"RYOU WORKS!!!?" The Queen burst out. "Where does he work? He doesn't strip or wait tables, does he?" Her eyes were wide opened.  
  
"No. He works for that boyfriend of his in a bondage club." She answered. "I think he's the bookkeeper or something like that."  
  
"Accounting is a noble profession, young lady." She corrected the ignorant cuss. "Even if he is working in some bondage club, at least his boyfriend cares enough to help him out."  
  
"I think it's still disgusting! Even their relationship!" Edward interjected.  
  
"Where did this Bakura come from and why does he look like Ryou?" The Queen demanded, totally ignoring her son's comment.  
  
Oh no! Now this was the moment he dreaded! He had to tell her the truth. Even his fiancé was in the dark about this.  
  
"Come on! Don't you want to eat your dinner? It's chicken strips and mashed potatoes!" Marik was trying to get a stubborn Mokuba to eat his dinner.  
  
"Are you kidding? This stuff is cold! I want it heated up! I also want GRAVY on my mashed potatoes! I want a coke, not juice! I am not a baby!" Mokuba crossed his arms over his chest pouting. "Where is my big brother!"  
  
"He'll be here eventually. Then I can start my plans." He gathered the plate. "Do you want any vegetables?"  
  
"You could put yourself on the plate since you have the mentality of one!" Malik shouted back at his other self. "Why don't you just let the kid go already! You don't need him!"  
  
"I need him all right! I need him, Yuugi and Ryou for my plans. Ryou mostly to piss off Bakura! I want to marry him right there." he pointed toward the alter. ".while Bakura is chained up forced to watch!"  
  
"Oh yeah! Sure! That'll happen.NOT!!" Malik's sarcasm was dripping. "Bakura will kick your ass before that happens!"  
  
"I highly doubt he could!" Marik got up and began to walk away with the dish of food. "I'll go find a microwave!"  
  
"GO STICK YOUR HEAD IN IT!" Malik shouted after him.  
  
TBC. 


	15. Ryou's Feelings, Yami shocks JiChan and ...

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a serious fan, hate shonen- ai, or don't have a sense of humor, this is not for you.  
  
FOURTEEN  
  
A few day later.(had to give Bakura some time to recover).  
  
Ryou's life seemed to be nothing BUT suffering lately. First, Bakura took full advantage of his recovery. Every time his light would bring him some food, the thief would find an excuse to pinch his butt! It was cute at first, but after a few times it was just plain annoying! He had to smack Bakura with a pillow to get him to stop! For crying out loud, his left cheek was red!!  
  
Ryou's father had called and told him that the rehearsal dinner was that night. Bakura's bruises had faded and he was presentable enough to leave the house. Why was there a rehearsal dinner? Didn't the guests know how to eat, or did someone have to teach them manners?  
  
Sighing to himself, Ryou wondered how to break the news to Bakura.scratch that! Bakura would relish in going and humiliate his father!  
  
Maybe the dinner wouldn't be so bad after all! He could line his eyes with kohl, put some sparkles on his face, and then put some tight fitting sexy clothes on. Then he would sit on Bakura's lap at the rehearsal dinner, feed the sexy Egyptian food by hand and then shock everyone by letting Bakura fuck him right into next week on the table! HAH!! Ryou would show his father a thing or two!  
  
Walking into the bedroom, Ryou watched his other sleep. The albino sat down on the foot of the bed, contemplating whether or not to wake Bakura up or not. They had to be at the dinner in a few hours.  
  
"Bakura." Ryou started as he gently shook the ex-Tomb Robber. "Wake up."  
  
"Five more minutes, Ryou. We're not finished yet." He mumbled in his sleep as he turned away from the blushing albino.  
  
It never failed! Bakura always dreamed of Ryou in some sexual position or two or three.  
  
"Bakura! You're dreaming! Wake UP!!" Ryou grew impatient.  
  
"Wha-?" The Egyptian woke with a start. "You're right. I'm dreaming. You're sitting there fully clothed."  
  
"Thank God for small favors! My father is expecting me to show up at the rehearsal dinner and I want you to come." Ryou started.  
  
"Rehearsal dinner? What the hell is that! Do they have to learn how to eat or something?" Bakura spat. "What stupid moron came up with that idea!"  
  
"I don't know. I've never been to one." Ryou confessed.  
  
"Will there be food, or do we have to rehearse what we eat!" Bakura grumbled. "If there's no food, let's go to Burger World!"  
  
"I am NOT going to that "heart attack on a bun" place!" Ryou protested.  
  
"So what does my Ryou suggest?" Bakura smiled.  
  
"How about some place nice for once? I doubt we'll stay long anyway since father will want to probably start something!" Ryou spat bitterly.  
  
"I doubt your grandma will let that happen." Bakura reminded him as he sat next to his light. "Don't worry, I'll be there. He won't say shit." He placed an arm around Ryou's shoulder.  
  
Ryou leaned against his other's shoulder feeling comforted. Smiling, he felt his other kiss him on his cheek.  
  
"How about we take a shower together and save time." Bakura whispered in his ear.  
  
"But I thought you wanted to save me for the wedding cake." Ryou teased.  
  
"My dreams are torturing me. Well, maybe I COULD wait for the wedding cake." Bakura's grin became devious. "So my love, am I wooing you finally?"  
  
"Wooing? Is that what it's called now?" Ryou sat on Bakura's lap facing him, his knees on either side of Bakura's legs. "I guess I just wish that if you really genuinely loved me, you'd treat me with a bit more respect."  
  
"Of course I love you. I'm in love with you." Bakura wrapped his strong arms around Ryou's shapely lithe frame, pulling the other against him. "I just wish you wouldn't be so serious half the time."  
  
Ryou just leaned into him, burying his face into Bakura's neck. Why was he so serious? After everything that had happened, had he taken a life bit too seriously and not allowed himself to live too much? Maybe he should just let go and let Bakura love him the way he knew he would.  
  
**** **** **** **** **** **** *** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** *** **  
He was still sore.he was going to kill the pharaoh! How big was he for crying out loud?  
  
Yuugi laid on his stomach to avoid leaning on his butt. He dreaded having to turn over to get up and go to the bathroom just to relieve himself. Everyday would be a painful reminder of what had happened three days ago. Seventeen times was a bit much.scratch that! Too much! Turning his head, Yuugi looked upon the peaceful face of his other. How they shared the same bed was beyond him. The bastard wouldn't even hold him. When he woke up, Yami was going to get an earful!  
  
As if he had heard Yuugi's thinking, Yami's eyes fluttered opened. He luxuriously stretched, his long sleek muscular arms rising above his head, his chest muscles rippling a bit. Yuugi had to keep himself from drooling and remember.HE WAS MAD!! Oh yes! He was very angry.when did Yami get more muscles?  
  
"Good morning, Aibou. Did you sleep well?" The Egyptian turned on his side to face his other.  
  
"No." Yuugi squeaked.  
  
"Is there anything I can get you?" Yami smiled.  
  
"A bed pan." Yuugi answered.  
  
"What's that?" Yami raised a brow.  
  
"I have to pee and I'm too sore to get out of bed." The other whined as Yami sat up.  
  
"Still? Come on." Yami took Yuugi by his hand and then gently turned the other over.  
  
Yuugi cried out, but Yami quickly scooped up his other in his arms and then carried him to the bathroom. They were both only in their boxers. The pharaoh set Yuugi down on his feet and then gently pushed him into the bathroom, turning on the light.  
  
"Can you hold it yourself, or do I have to come in there and hold it for you?" Yami deviously grinned as Yuugi blushed.  
  
"I'll be fine." He said as Yami closed the door leaning against it.  
  
At that moment, Yuugi's grandfather came running up the stairs after hearing his grandson scream before. Seeing Yami leaning against the bathroom door, Solomon walked toward him to get some answers.  
  
"Why did Yuugi scream? Is he okay?" Solomon asked.  
  
"He had too much fun three days ago." Yami smirked. "He'll be okay in a few days."  
  
"A few days? Why? What happened to him?" Solomon demanded.  
  
"He's a little sore after some rough activity." Yami smiled more to himself.  
  
"What? Did he play a rough sport or something?" Solomon asked.  
  
"You could say that." Yami answered.  
  
"Tell me what is wrong with him so I can help him!" Solomon demanded.  
  
"I'll put it to you this way old man! If someone fucked you seventeen times, would you be able to sit?" Yami stated directly.  
  
Information overload! Solomon passed out from the shock of the pharaoh's words. Yami just raised a brow, his smile disappearing as he poked the man's body with his foot.  
  
"Old man? Old man? Solomon? Wake up!" Yami demanded as the door opened behind him.  
  
"Ji-chan!" Yuugi shouted as he ran past his other and then knelt down next to his grandfather with a hiss of pain. "Wake up!" he felt around for a pulse. "I don't get it! What happened? His pulse is strong. Why did he pass out?" He turned toward Yami who stood there with a smirk on his face. "You didn't tell him, did you?"  
  
"I had to. He wondered why you screamed before. I only told him that if he was fucked seventeen times." Yami started.  
  
"Yami! How could you be so blunt!" Yuugi scolded. "No wonder he couldn't take it!"  
  
"That's his problem if he lived a sheltered existence." Yami huffed. "He would have found out sooner or later."  
  
"I would have preferred it if he found out later!" Yuugi protested as Solomon began to stir. "Grandfather! Are you okay?"  
  
"Yuugi.please tell me you two didn't have sex." Solomon started as Yuugi's eyes were downcast. "You did, didn't you! Why would you have sex with that.that.DEMON!!!"  
  
"HEY!!! I'm no demon!" Yami protested. "I'm the Pharaoh!"  
  
"Same difference!" Solomon spat back. "Yuugi! Please reconsider! Find a nice girl and settle down. Have a few children! Make this old man happy!"  
  
"Too late gramps! I ruined him for all women!" Yami cross his arms over his dark muscular chest. "He's the other half of my soul and he belongs to me and no one else!"  
  
"I don't believe this is happening." Yuugi groaned as his grandfather stood on his feet to face the pharaoh.  
  
"MY GRANDSON DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU! I WISH I NEVER GAVE HIM THAT GODDAMNED PUZZLE TO SOLVE!!! IF HE DIDN'T HE WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD MET YOU AND RUIN HIS LIFE!!" Solomon shouted at Yami.  
  
"His life isn't ruined!" Yami protested.  
  
"Yes it is! Now he will never have a family because of you!" Solomon began. "Why did you have to come back? Couldn't you have found your own place to live and not involved Yuugi in your life?"  
  
"Everything I did was FOR HIM!!!" Yami corrected Solomon.  
  
"So all the duels and your fame that rightfully belonged to my grandson were for him?" Solomon shot back.  
  
"I chose to go to college, remember?" Yuugi reminded his grandfather.  
  
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" He shouted. "You should be the one with the fame and fortune, not this.this.I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL HIM!"  
  
"You already took your best shot!" Yami countered.  
  
"YOU BE QUIET!!!" Solomon scolded him as he turned back toward his grandson. "What is it he has that is so attractive? Is it really worth it?" Solomon pleaded with Yuugi as Yami grinned deviously rubbing his own hardened member through his boxers behind his grandfather's back. "Well?" Yuugi's face flushed from embarrassment.  
  
"EEEEEEEEP!!" Yuugi ran back into his room and slammed the door shut.  
  
"Yuugi? YUUGI!! What happened?" Solomon asked as Yami shrugged his shoulders. "Don't think you're off the hook, young man! We're going to continue this later!" He walked back down the stairs.  
  
Yami watched the old man walk down the stairs before pursing Yuugi again. He wasn't going to screw his light silly. He needed Yuugi walking again at least. He was going to just talk to him.maybe.  
  
"We're going to continue this later young man." He imitated. "HAH!" **** **** **** **** **** **** *** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** *** **  
  
Yuugi was on the phone with Ryou. For some reason, he felt the need to call him. Why, he didn't know, but speaking to the albino about his current dilemma made him feel better.  
  
"My father can't accept Bakura either, but my grandmother does. Don't worry about your grandfather. He'll accept both of you in time provided the Pharaoh doesn't piss him off anymore than he probably has." Ryou told him.  
  
"I hope so." Yuugi started. "I just wish he was more.well.affectionate."  
  
"I certainly don't have that problem with Bakura." Ryou sighed. "I mean, he's all over me every chance he gets!"  
  
"Can I help it if you look too sexy for own good!" Yuugi heard Bakura's voice.  
  
"BAKURA!!!" Ryou scolded. "I'm talking to Yuugi! Go sit down and amuse yourself! Wait.NO.PULL YOUR ZIPPER BACK UP!! BAKURA!!!! Ooooooh! My God!"  
  
"What's wrong?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"I didn't know it could be so big." Stated Ryou calmly. "And so dark.and so."  
  
"I get the picture although I'm trying not to!" Yuugi growled.  
  
"Now he's stripping." Yuugi was guessing Ryou was mesmerized by the sight. "I'm going to go now. Don't worry. Things will work out." And then Ryou hung up.  
  
"Is everyone going crazy today?" Yuugi sighed as he flopped on the bed stomach first. **** **** **** **** **** **** *** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** *** **  
  
Ryou had slowly hung up the phone as Bakura began to do a strip tease. The Egyptian was dark and sexy. His white hair was a shocking contrast to his skin tone. God, he was muscular!  
  
"Come here, Ryou!" Bakura motioned for the albino to come closer. "I have a nice surprise for you!"  
  
Ryou had to mentally slap himself from giving in. No! No matter how good Bakura looked, he would not give in! No! Not this time.no.uh uh.that thing looked so huge.was it really really worth saving his own innocence? Didn't he have this mental conversation with himself about ten minutes or so ago? He so wanted to feel Bakura inside of him.  
  
Walking toward his other, Ryou handed Bakura a bath robe. Not today. Not until he was sure of Bakura's feelings for him.why the hell did he feel so insecure? Didn't Bakura just confess to loving him?  
  
Bakura snatched the robe and then threw it aside. He then gently took his light by the arm and drew his innocent albino into his muscular embrace. Bakura looked so handsome, his features reminding Ryou of some handsome hero out of one of those romance novels.  
  
Hesitantly, Ryou slowly moved his arms around his other. This felt so nice. No forceful moves. No Bakura trying to get him into bed. Just a nice gentle embrace. Closing his eyes, Ryou just smiled enjoying the moment.  
  
"Ryou, maybe we should get dressed for your father and step bitch's party tonight." Bakura gently pushed him away. "We can have fun afterwards." He gently smiled.  
  
This was too much! Who was this person and what have they done with Bakura? Maybe the Egyptian finally figured out that Ryou wanted him to be a gentleman.  
  
*** **** ***** ***** ***** **** ****** ******* **** ***** ***** ***** ****  
  
Another fucking invitation to some stupid event that always demanded his presence because he was Seto fucking Kaiba! Yes! We want you to come so others will think that we are important.NOT!!! To make matters worse, it was Ryou Bakura's father who sent the invitation or was it that social climbing bitch? Seto had nothing against Ryou, he was a sweet kid, but they didn't know each other that well. He was sure that the albino had nothing to do with it.  
  
"What's wrong." Came a pleasant voice that soothed his angered soul.  
  
"I have to attend some stupid social function. You know, a wedding?" Seto handed the invitation to Jou. "So, since they demand my presence, how about you come with me as my date."  
  
"Me? If you take me as your date, you will never get invited to another social again!" The blond pointed out.  
  
"Ask if I care." He took the invitation away and then set it down on the table next to the front door. "The only reason they want me there is because of who I am. It would make them look better from a social stand point. Also, those cows would want to throw their daughters at me that couldn't turn me on if they stood there naked with triple E sized breasts!"  
  
"So, I'm basically there to stave off the women." Jou shook his head. "What's wrong with big breasted women?"  
  
"Nothing. I just don't like some bitch wanting me for my money." Kaiba answered. "Do you know how many marriage proposals I get a day? Do you know how many of those cows think their daughters are good enough for me? Well they all aren't! Not any of them! They have no idea what I want in a partner. Everything I have done, I have done for Mokuba! I want someone besides my little brother to see the real me! Do you understand what I'm saying?"  
  
"Of course I do. I understand. It's hard to get someone to notice the real you when they really see dollar signs." Jou started. "Don't worry. One day, some smart gal will see the real you and if she's REALLY smart, she'll run the other direction." He smirked.  
  
"Who's the smart ass now?" Seto crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
"Speaking of that, have you heard anything about Mokuba?" Jou asked.  
  
"No. I hired some people like I said I would to look for him and report back to me when they do find him. There is no way in hell that I am going to let this pervert get away with kidnapping my brother without a word." Seto sighed. "I hate the waiting."  
  
"It'll be okay. Mokuba will be fine. After all, the kidnapper might want to pay you to take him back if I know your little brother." Jou smiled as Seto kept himself from wanting to kick the pup in the ass. "He's probably driving the guy nuts. Smart defense."  
  
"You think so. It could also get you killed." Seto reminded him. "Come on. At least keep me company for a while. I am tired of listening to silence." He walked off. 'Tired of marriage proposals!' He hissed mentally to himself.  
  
*************************************** *************** ************ *  
  
Marik had decided to leave his sanctuary leaving Malik and Mokuba behind. He would get back to them soon enough. First, he had to find Rishid in order to carry out his plans. Oh yes! Ryou, Bakura and Yuugi would be his in time! Then he would dispose of that obnoxious brat of a pharaoh and Yuugi at the same time. He would marry Ryou and then torture Bakura. Oh yes! Bakura would get ring side seats while he fucked Ryou senseless!  
  
TBC. 


	16. UnRyou Like

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a serious fan, have no sense of humor or hate Shonen-Ai, this is not for you.  
  
FIFTEEN  
  
The evening came very fast and nearly so did Bakura. His light looked good enough to eat! How he wanted to rip those tight clothes off Ryou's body. He wore white, all leather white! Oh Rah! Who was the one getting married? Who was the one unconsciously outdoing the bride? Bakura was a stark contrast to Ryou. He wore totally black leathers and buckles.  
  
The two entered the dining hall watching everyone just mingle with each other. So this was what a rehearsal dinner was. Everyone was there to know each other the day before the wedding was to take place. Ryou guessed it was to stave off the awkwardness of meeting for the first time at a wedding. It was too bad he did not want to know any of them! He had Bakura! Bakura and the employees at this club were his family now.  
  
While Ryou was looking for a place to sit, Bakura was looking for a cake to screw his light on. He wanted Ryou and he wanted him NOW!!!! Nope, no nice white giant cake in sight. He remembered when one of his "wenches" got married. They had a nice big wedding cake. Unfortunately, the bride and groom took too much of a delight in smashing each other in the face with the first piece of ceremonial cake! He had laughed his ass off that night!  
  
Of course, there was no wedding cake. Damn it! He'd have to wait! Damn! Damn! Damn! Bakura placed an arm around Ryou's shoulder, daring anyone to say anything. So far, no one look disgusted or surprised in the least.  
  
/Why do I feel so out of place here? / Ryou asked through their mental link.  
  
//Because you're the only good looking one here? Did you get a load of those ugly mother fuckers in the corner? What is with your family? Do they all need paper bags or something? Was your father the only one who married out side the family? // That made Ryou giggle.  
  
/Oh yeah. My mom was from America I think. I'm not sure. I think I inherited all of her looks. / Ryou smiled.  
  
//Damn straight you did! // Bakura snorted.  
  
/I mean though, that I feel so out of place for other reasons. / Ryou picked up the conversation again.  
  
//You mean because of the leather you're wearing. You look beautiful in it. // Bakura stated as Ryou blushed. //Or is it because you have a boyfriend and the rest of them are the status quo? None of them seem surprised, so what do you care? //  
  
/True. / Ryou sighed. /Let's find somewhere to sit. I don't feel like talking to anyone. /  
  
//Did Yami and Yuugi get an invite to this? // Bakura asked.  
  
/I hope so. / Ryou answered.  
  
They finally found a seat. Bakura sat Ryou down first and then he took a chair for himself. They just watched everyone talk around them. The albino was not interested in talking with anyone. In fact, he wanted to leave now! Ryou would rather be alone with his dark.  
  
"Ryou." Oh, no.not his father. "Why did you come dressed like that? You look like a whore." The albino felt sadness overwhelm his being which Bakura felt.  
  
That was it! The first thing out of his mouth pissed off Bakura to no end. No one insulted Ryou! The Egyptian stood up and then grabbed Edward by his collar. Groom to be or not, he was not going to make it to the honey moon!  
  
"Say that again, and you lose your life!" Bakura threatened the man. "You never ever speak to him like that!" He pushed the man away.  
  
"I'll speak to him anyway I like. He is my son and you have nothing to say!" Edward pointed out as he turned back toward his son. "Are you trying to humiliate me? You knew this was a black tie affair. If you couldn't dress for it, you shouldn't have bothered to come."  
  
"A black tie affair? If I knew that, I would have just worn the tie and kept off the vest." A voice interrupted the growing intense conversation.  
  
Turning around, Edward was met with the shit eating grin of Yami. Yuugi was right behind him hand-in-hand also dressed in leathers and buckles. He stood there not looking at the man. Rather, he found the floor interesting.  
  
"What are you doing here? Were you invited?" Edward asked.  
  
"Yeah? You sent me and Yuugi an invitation to this and your wedding." Yami showed him the card. "Take comfort in the fact that I use to be a pharaoh." He walked past the bewildered man and then sat down with Yuugi in tow.  
  
"Ryou, we will continue this conversation later." His father walked away.  
  
"What's his problem?" Yami demanded.  
  
"He's angry because Ryou decided to wear leather instead of the penguin suit. I don't think a suit looks very good on him." Bakura turned toward Yami, a devious grin forming on his face.. "So, whose wig do you want to light on fire tonight?"  
  
***************** ******************** ***************** ***********  
  
Seto Kaiba knew he was going to get bombarded the minute he stepped into that accursed Rehearsal Dinner! He had to keep Jounouchi by his side, arm in arm, in order to give those cows the message that he just was NOT interested in their daughters! He could feel his escort trembling in fear on what others would think. Seto just didn't give a damn! Would Mokuba be surprised!  
  
The stares were intense. He guessed that Bakura and Ryou must have made their grand entrances already. Seto ignored the cows around him stating they could change his mind with their lovely daughters. He'd rather do Jounouchi.not a bad thought..  
  
Seto made his way to the table where the others were and then shoved Jou into a seat. He then sat down, arms crossed over his chest. Why the hell did he have to be here?  
  
"Hey Seto! Long time no see." Bakura greeted.  
  
"I like the no see part. What the hell is this! Is this a dinner or a farce!" Seto demanded as he turned toward Edward and his fiancé. "That woman is the biggest gold digger I have ever seen and these cows in here are no better."  
  
"There are cows? Does that mean there is raw meat here?" Bakura grinned.  
  
"You like your steak tar-tar?" Seto huffed.  
  
"Of course. The bloodier, the better!" Bakura felt his mouth water.  
  
"Don't even mention that!" Ryou groaned. "I was sick for a whole month because of your strange appetites."  
  
"Didn't you like the raw eggs?" Bakura asked.  
  
Ryou got up from the seat with his hand over his mouth, running toward the restrooms. Bakura's smile turned into a frown. Now Ryou wouldn't be able to enjoy the food. Poor light.  
  
"What's wrong with Ryou?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"I guess I reminded him of too much." Bakura sighed. "I'll go check on him."  
  
****************** ******************** ********************* ******  
  
Slamming the bathroom door opened, Ryou ran into one of the empty stalls, closing the latch and then began to empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Had Bakura's imagery really cause this or was it something else?  
  
Gods, his father was so cruel. To call him a whore broke Ryou's heart. Why did he care anymore? Anything he did, his father would never approve and he would never be part of that family again. The bitch would get what she wanted and so would that son of hers! His father, that damned house which he was originally sent to live in, the money and his room! Why the hell did that bitch have to give her son HIS room!! Oh yeah! She didn't want her precious little darling to have second best! God forbid!  
  
"I hate him, I hate her and her demon spawn!" Ryou hissed as he began to throw up again.  
  
The door to the bathroom opened as two people stepped inside. One was the "demon spawn" and the other was a cousin on Ryou's father's side. The albino heard a bathroom stall open and two sets of feet step inside. What happened next made his eyes widen to saucers.  
  
"You promised me good sex! I want to see how good it is!" His voice made Ryou stop breathing.  
  
"Someone could be in here!" The other protested.  
  
"I don't care. I want what's coming to me." He purred.  
  
Get what's coming to him? Oh! Ryou would LOVE to give him what was coming to him! A good swift kick in the ass and then some! Where the hell was Bakura when he needed him?  
  
"You know something? I would love to fuck you and my cousin's son Ryou at the same time!" That made Ryou's face red in anger.  
  
"Oh yes. I would love to hear him scream." The other responded as Ryou got to his feet, flushed the toilet and then slammed the stall door opened.  
  
There was no way in hell he was going to let himself be part of anyone's perverted fantasies except Bakura's! Oh no! They were going to PAY!! They were going to scream all right! It wasn't going to be in ecstasy!  
  
Ryou stood in front of the stall where the two perverts were. With one strong swift kick to the handi-capped stall (I refuse to call it anything else!) the latch broke, the pieces falling to the floor. The two shocked occupants stared wide eyed at Ryou's seething form. This was so unlike the calm collected albino.  
  
"Oh! So you want to fuck me, huh? Well come and get me boys!" Ryou ran into the stall and all hell broke loose!  
  
********************* *********************** *********************  
  
Bakura walked toward the men's room and heard screams inside. They were not of pleasure that was for sure. Wanting to see a nice painful fight, he walked in only to see his light inflicting all the pain. Bakura would be proud of this moment, but his actions right now could cause him to get arrested!  
  
"RYOU!" Bakura grabbed his angel around the waist keeping Ryou from inflicting further pain.  
  
The two slowly picked themselves off the floor, bruised and humiliated. There was no use even trying to continue their activities. They would be soon discovered missing from the party.  
  
"Just forget you saw or heard anything." His future step brother huffed as he walked out of the bathroom.  
  
Ryou's cousin left without a word. How could they do that to him! How could they just walk out? Why did Bakura stop him!!!  
  
"I really wish you haven't done that." Ryou hissed through clenched teeth.  
  
"Yeah? Well, they would have had you arrested if I didn't stop them!" Bakura growled, making Ryou face him. "I know you're angry, but I wouldn't waste my time with them. They aren't worth it. Anyway, you're above that."  
  
"Right! First my father disowns me, her son takes my place in his life, then my father calls me a whore and then said son along with the rest of the male members of my family are lusting after me in some sick fantasy!" Ryou almost screamed. "I WANT TO KILL THEM!"  
  
"Calm down Ryou! You aren't going to do anything to anyone." Bakura stated calmly trying to get Ryou to do the same. "They're not worth it. I told you that." He brought Ryou closer against his chest, burying his face in the snow white hair. "Calm yourself and then we'll sit with your friends and have a good time." He left a small kiss on Ryou's neck. "Okay?"  
  
"Oh, okay Bakura." Ryou said in a mock innocent tone. "I'll be fine." A devious smile appeared on his face.  
  
"That's my Ryou." Bakura smiled as he slowly let go of the albino.  
  
The albino broke free and then ran out the door. Bakura's eyes widened as Ryou shrieked a war cry. Had he gone berserk?  
  
"I'M GOING TO KILL THEM!!!" Ryou shouted as the elder gathered his wits about him and then ran after his other.  
  
"RYOU!!" Bakura ran after him.  
  
******************************* **************************************  
  
Seto and Yami were talking about the finer points of dueling as Yuugi and Jou just listened. They were getting really REALLY ridiculous!  
  
"RYOU!!!" They heard Bakura's voice shout across the restaurant.  
  
"Did someone forget to give Ryou Midol or something?" Seto snorted in disgust as Yami smirked.  
  
******************************* ***************************************  
  
Bakura grabbed his light before he could inflict any damage on his prey. Edward stood up outraged at his son's actions. Bakura just glared at the man, annoyed that he was about to take his step-son's side.  
  
"What is the meaning of this! Are you deliberately trying to embarrass me?!" Edward demanded.  
  
"Embarrass you? Nah, you've done that to yourself! Maybe you should talk to your step son and that cousin of yours." He motioned toward the man sitting next to the teen. "I mean, your son is in their fantasies!" He noticed Edward's face turning red. "Don't get too upset. After all, you did marry outside the family before. Maybe if you and this stupid bitch have a child, they'll make this family look even better!" He dragged a resisting Ryou away. "BY THE WAY! I WANT MY MEAT RAW!! YOU KNOW!! BLOODY RED?!"  
  
Edward turned toward his future step son and his own cousin. Ryou was in their fantasies? How dare them! He was sure Bakura was not lying because his own son would not react that violently towards anything.  
  
"So, you both desire my son?" He started, a dark look on his face.  
  
************************************ **********************************  
  
Ryou was dragged kicking and screaming into the bathroom. They were supposed to taste his wrath! (I cannot get this cartoon squirrel on the internet saying "taste my squirrelly wrath!" out of my mind!) Yes! A wrath so powerful they would never recover from it! Yes! A nice sharp knife and two sets of balls removed! What sweet revenge it would have been!  
  
"Ryou!" Bakura broke him out of his insane trance. "Ryou love. Calm down. It's me." He hugged Ryou against his chest, his face buried in the albino's shoulder. "Your father knows and he'll take care of it. He wasn't happy to say the least."  
  
"I wanted to kill them." Ryou whispered, tears forming around the corners of his eyes. "I don't want to be desired just by anyone."  
  
"I desire you. I'm not just anyone." Bakura pointed out.  
  
"You're the only one I want." Ryou confessed quietly. "I just want you to think of me that way, to look at me that way. I can't explain why."  
  
"I can." Bakura smiled against his neck. "We're soul mates Ryou. Not the soul mates that people think of, but real ones. Do you understand?"  
  
"I already knew that." Ryou confessed. "I just didn't want to face it. I thought it was wrong."  
  
"It isn't. Whether we get together now or later doesn't make a difference. I would never love you than leave you." Bakura promised his light. "Despite my crude comments, I do respect you. I love you. I am in love with you. I've told you this before. Have you even listened to me?"  
  
"Of course. You asked me not to be so serious half the time." Ryou smiled remembering the moment as he turned in Bakura's embrace, his big eyes shining at the other. "Thanks for always being there for me even though I have never told you so."  
  
Bakura smiled. Of course he would always be there for his angel. No one could come between them. This moment was so perfect.and he and Ryou were alone.and the albino was so close to him.  
  
"Could you guys do that at home? I have to use the can!" Yami walked in ruining the moment.  
  
Bakura wanted to so kill that bastard of a pharaoh! He was so damned close and then HE had to RUIN EVERYTHING!!!! Why should the great Yami care? He probably nailed Yuugi every night since the airport! Why should he care about the Tomb Robber's needs? Oh, no! The pharaoh needed to sit on the "throne" to do his business!  
  
"GO PISS OUTSIDE YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!!! I am having a moment here alone with Ryou!" Bakura shouted at Yami.  
  
"I think he deserves better than the men's room, don't you think?" Yami shook his head as he stepped into a stall and closed the door. "Try either your nice big apartment or a hotel somewhere!" They could hear him undo his pants. "While you're at it." They could hear the stream come out into the toilet (graphic ain't I?) ".you could fill the room with flowers."  
  
"That sounds so romantic." Ryou smiled as Bakura growled.  
  
"No thanks. I hate flowers." Bakura spat back. "Maybe ferrets?" he snarled.  
  
"Why? Do you can bite their heads off?" Yami suggested.  
  
"Yeah! I'll bite their little heads off and then spit them at you. How does that sound?" Bakura seethed.  
  
"You've lost your touch." The pharaoh stated.  
  
TBC. The party goes on. Will Bakura ever get his Ryou or will Yami purposely get in the way because he wants Ryou and Yuugi at the same time! ;D  
  
"DO YOU WANT CHOCOLATE?"-Fat Buu from DBZ. 


	17. Bakura Finally Corners Ryou

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you hate Shonen-ai, are a die hard fan or have no sense of humor, this is not for you. Also, this part has a sex scene in it which I should have warned in a chapter or two ago. Since you all like it anyway, I'm not saying where! ;)  
  
SIXTEEN  
  
Bakura sat there at the table cursing silently to himself, glaring at that arrogant asshole of a pharaoh. Ryou sighed wondering if a fight would ensue. Yuugi looked as if he wanted to hide under the table. Yami glared right back at Bakura as if they were locked in the battle of wills. Of course, Seto thought they were locked in the battle of the witless!  
  
"Are you two going to kill each other and get it over with?" Kaiba stated bored.  
  
Ryou so wished he could have smacked Kaiba upside the head right there and then. Why the hell would he want someone to start a fight in the middle of a boring dinner party? Wait.maybe it wasn't such a bad idea.  
  
"I wouldn't condescend to soil my hands with his blood." Yami crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
"I wouldn't give you the time of day!" Bakura growled back.  
  
"Could you both please behave yourselves?" Ryou pleaded as he tried to make himself calm down.  
  
"That's rich! Coming from someone who was just trying to kill his own two family members!" Seto snorted.  
  
"Oh shut it, Kaiba! At least my Ryou had a reason to disembowel them!" Bakura shot back.  
  
"Your Ryou? I never heard you use that term before." Yami snickered.  
  
"Shut up Pharaoh! You walked in on purpose! You just want to ruin my life! That's it! You want to see how far you can go until my dick shrivels up and falls off!" Bakura spat back.  
  
"Is that a challenge?" Yami asked.  
  
"Stop it!" Ryou demanded. "Let's just endure the rest of this and then leave. I don't like being here anymore than the rest of you and this is MY family!"  
  
They all stayed silent hoping Ryou would not explode like a woman on her period again!  
  
***************************** ************************* **************  
  
The evening mercifully ended, but not before Yami and Bakura flooded out the men's bathroom. How they did that made Ryou shake his head. One minute they wanted to kill each other, the next they were partner's-in- crime. They were friends and they didn't want to admit it plain and simple!  
  
Bakura opened the passenger side for his light letting Ryou sit down in the leather seat. This was not like the dark one. He closed the door and then walked to the other side. Bakura opened it up and then slid in, closing the door behind him.  
  
"Your family sucks." Bakura finally broke the silence.  
  
"Amongst other things." Ryou concluded as Bakura broke down laughing. "What?"  
  
"You know how vile that sounded?" Bakura laughed.  
  
"Your point?" Ryou demanded as Bakura stopped laughing.  
  
"You're serious." Bakura shook his head. "You really must hate them."  
  
"I would rather meet my mother's side of the family then spend one more hour with my father's side." Ryou snorted. "It's bad enough we have to endure that dreadful wedding tomorrow!" Bakura slid closer to his light.  
  
Taking Ryou's chin gently in his hand, Bakura made the albino face him. Wide eyes faced the other's narrow brown eyes. A smile graced Bakura's face.  
  
"At least I can have you tomorrow on the wedding cake." Bakura purred as he got closer. "Aren't you at least happy about that?"  
  
"Sure." Ryou smiled.  
  
Bakura wasted no time. There was no Yami around to ruin the moment and he was alone with his Ryou! It was now or never.well there was always later tonight or tomorrow. Oh hell! Now was a good time!  
  
"Oh Bakura! I need to jump start my car! Can you help me?" Bakura was almost there.DAMN HIM!!!!  
  
Bakura looked back and noticed Yami standing there with jumper cables. With a devious smile, the "oh heathen one" slammed his car door into Yami's crotch. Oh yes! That scream was beautiful music to his ears as the pharaoh fell down.  
  
Closing the door, Bakura leaned toward his intended target and then pressed his lips softly against Ryou's. Ha! Ha! Silly Pharaoh! He couldn't stop him this time! No! Ryou was his! HAHAHAHH!!  
  
The kiss became more passionate, deeper. Tongues clashed for dominance, but Bakura won the battle. His strong muscular arms tightened around his light, pulling the albino against his chest. One of his hands began an exploration of the soft body beneath him. Oh yes! He wanted to know how Ryou felt under his caress.  
  
Bakura's strong hand moved up inside Ryou's leather apparel. His hand stopped at its intended target and his thumb caressed the already hard nipple there. The albino arched into his touch, moaning into the kiss. Oh yes! His little kitten was getting into it! The roaming hand moved downward to the rim of his white leather pants. Oh yes! Bakura was slowly reaching for the prize he waited so long for! This was the prize worth more than the Millennium Puzzle itself!  
  
Ryou gasped as he felt that large hand work on unfastening his belt buckle. Oh Gods! Bakura was moving too fast, but at the same time, he wanted it so badly! His other would never leave him, would he?  
  
Bakura's skills proved him very efficient! He managed to not only unbuckle the belt, he also got the zipper open. Now to fish for his prize! This was better than the cereal boxes! He still couldn't figure out that damn decoder ring!  
  
"Ba-Ba-Bakura!" Ryou moaned as he felt those fingers gently move down into his pants. "Oh my God!" He never knew that could feel good alone!  
  
Finding his prize, Bakura began to stroke and tease his little minx. Oh yes! He was going to enjoy torturing Ryou. He had no idea what he was in for. The elder moved his lips hungrily to Ryou's neck, sucking on the juncture and then nipping at it. His fingers grasped the object of his desire and then he began his work. Oh yes! Ryou would never forget this.  
  
************************** **************************** *************  
  
"Yami! Are you okay? What happened?" Yuugi helped his other stand up.  
  
"I just asked Bakura for a favor and." They both heard an ear piercing cry. "Oh shit! Now I can't see his dick fall off!"  
  
"Yami! For once, can't you behave!" Yuugi shook his head.  
  
"No." He leered at Yuugi. "I've been very VERY bad! Would you punish me?" He waggled his eyes.  
  
"Oh! I'll punish you alright, you hentai! You can start by cleaning the game shop and then the rest of the damn house!" Yuugi dragged him off by his ear.  
  
"Itai! Itai! Stop!" Yami pleaded.  
  
***************************** ************************ ****************  
  
"Bakuraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Ryou screamed his release.  
  
What did he expect? Ryou probably never had an orgasm before and was quick. He would have to teach the albino on how to control himself better. Right now, he wanted to just to have his fun. He kissed his Ryou on the lips softly and then reclined the albino's seat back for more. Dipping his head between the beauty's legs, his spiky hair covered his love's thighs, and his tongue was cleaning up the mess up. Oh yeah! Bakura would make sure that Ryou would never forget this! Heh.  
  
Ryou leaned back, his eyes shut tightly and his breathing coming in quick gasps. These new sensations were overloading him making him want to scream more. Was this what he was missing? Oh God, it felt so good. What was next? Oh! No! Not that! He wouldn't be able to take it! Bakura's tongue began to work its magic on his nether regions.  
  
"S-Stop Bakura." Ryou gasped. "Please.not that."  
  
//Oh yes little one! I will be doing that! You'll love it! // Bakura stated in his mind.  
  
/Wha-what are you doing? / Ryou gasped.  
  
//You'll see. I'm not going all the way today. I think this will overload you enough. // Bakura smiled in his mind.  
  
Overload he did. Ryou let out a cry as Bakura continued his pleasure. His little one tasted so sweet and he was all his. His tongue touched every part, every crevice making Ryou writhe above him in pleasure. What he would give to have a video camera taping this moment. Then he could keep it for his collection and watch in his office at work. Bakura was sure Ryou was looking beautiful at this moment!  
  
Taking his love into his mouth finally, Bakura began to give his love the release he really needed. The stress of his life, his family and everything needed to be relieved somehow from his soul. Bakura made a vibrating noise in the back of his throat, exciting his love even more. He felt Ryou's essence explode from within and Bakura greedily sucked it down. He had the little one in the palm of his hands.literally!  
  
Sitting back up, Bakura kissed Ryou's cheek and then redressed his light. Ryou turned toward him, his eyes glazed over.  
  
"That was.that was.incredible." Ryou smiled out of breath. "I can't believe.you did that."  
  
"I did it. Believe it." Bakura started the car. "There's more to it than that, but I want to save that for another time. I just wanted you to have a taste of sorts, and so did I, of how great it can be."  
  
"Bakura, you didn't have to do it here." Ryou sighed. "You know." He started as he uprighted the seat as Bakura rode away from the restaurant. ".you could have done that at home."  
  
"I know, but I wanted to have somewhere you couldn't run from for once." Bakura smirked at his light. "I got you where I wanted you and you were looking very VERY tasty tonight."  
  
Ryou blushed at his comment.  
  
**************************** *************************** ****************  
  
"But I don't wanna clean the shop!" Yami whined as Yuugi glared at him.  
  
"How could you stand there and watch them go at it! I thought you were better than that." Yuugi almost screamed at him. "You were practically drooling at Ryou!"  
  
Uh oh.Caught! He loved his Aibou, but he wanted to see what is would be like to have both of them in bed. Oh well.guess Yuugi wasn't into sharing. Guess he didn't feel the same about Ryou.  
  
"I just wanted, well, to experience a threesome." Yami whispered.  
  
"A threesome? Uck! No offense, Ryou's nice looking and all, but I don't think I wanna do him, okay?" Yuugi walked away.  
  
"Yuugi! WAIT!" Yami ran after him.  
  
*************************** ******************************* *************  
  
Marik walked around town. He was bored, really bored. He forced his original host to follow him in spiritual form. Malik just followed behind not feeling anything around him. He hated this!  
  
"So where are we going?" Malik demanded.  
  
"I'm bored. I want to go to Bakura's place and pay him a little visit." Marik smirked.  
  
"Why don't just go play with yourself if you're bored! Leave Bakura alone!" Malik demanded. "Leave Ryou alone too."  
  
"I wanna marry him!" Marik shot back.  
  
"He doesn't want to marry you!" Malik shouted back. "He loves Bakura! Get over it!"  
  
"If I make Bakura go away, then he'll love me." Marik smiled to himself.  
  
"Have you lost sight again of what you are trying to accomplish!" Malik demanded. "You want the two lights so you can get back at the pharaoh and they must be virgins."  
  
"Oh yeah! Virgins! I love virgins! They are so pure, so innocent, so naïve!" Marik's eyes lit up with insane glee. "I GET TO PLAY WITH RYOU!!!"  
  
"Rah, give me strength." Malik groaned.  
  
**************************** *************************** *************  
  
Ryou walked through the front door tired from the whole day's ordeal. He heard Bakura close behind him closing the front door. He could hear the elder's heavy boots on the oak wood floors of his house. Closing his eyes, Ryou relished the feeling of those strong muscular arms around his petite frame. Oh yes. He was missing a lot.  
  
"So, are you going to push me away again?" Bakura's voice purred. "Or are you going to let me show you how I feel more?"  
  
"Mmmmmmmm.I could be content just staying like this right now." Ryou smiled, his eyes never opening.  
  
Bakura turned the beauty in his arms to face him. Their lips met again, more passionately this time. The elder became more encouraged as he felt those arms slide around his neck.  
  
At that moment, there was a knock at the door. Bakura growled as he parted from Ryou. Unsheathing his knife from his belt, Bakura stalked toward the front door. It couldn't be. He wouldn't have the balls! After all, he had Yuugi! Why did he have to intrude on his own fun!  
  
Opening the door, Bakura's jaw almost dropped. What the hell was this asshole doing here?  
  
"What the fuck do you want! Didn't I tell you to stay away from MY RYOU YOU FUCKING SADISTIC BASTARD!!!!" Bakura practically shouted at him.  
  
"Temper, temper, Bakura. I just wanted to visit an old friend." Marik grinned deviously.  
  
"You ain't no friend of mine you psycho so get out of here before I beat the shit out of you!" Bakura growled. "You just want Ryou."  
  
"Oh yes! I want Ryou bound and gagged bent over for my pleasure." Marik sneered. "Think you can arrange that?"  
  
"You can go fuck yourself a hundred times before I let that happen!" Bakura growled. "GET.OUT." He gritted his teeth.  
  
"Uh, no?" Marik walked past the ex-tomb robber. "Oh Ryou! Ryou baby, Marik is here and wants to pound into your sweet tight ass!"  
  
"THAT'S MY LINE AND RYOU'S SWEET TIGHT ASS IS MINE TO POUND INTO!!" Bakura shouted at him. "Now leave!"  
  
************************** ************************** ****************  
  
Ryou hid in Bakura's bedroom. There was no way he was going to go out there with that crazy loon in the house. Why were they talking about his ass?  
  
"I'll be back, Bakura. I will have your light in my possession soon enough." Marik promised as he left.  
  
"NO YOU WON'T!!" Bakura shouted as Ryou flinched hearing the door slam shut.  
  
Ryou emerged from the bedroom, walking slowly toward Bakura. He knew the elder would never hurt him, but the albino wanted to be safe.  
  
"Damn crazy blondes!" Bakura muttered under his breath as he heard someone behind him. "Ryou?"  
  
"Yes?" He answered.  
  
"Let's go to bed." The ex-Tomb Robber placed an arm around the other's shoulders. "We have that damn wedding tomorrow."  
  
********************************** ***********************************  
  
"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WERE LUSTING AFTER MY OWN SON!!" Edward shouted at the wayward youth. "What were you thinking!" He shot a look at his future bride. "Tell me, Chesha, is this what you were really worried about? After all, my son did nothing to tempt your son! Did you know your son was like this? Well?"  
  
"Maybe a little, but still." She was cut off.  
  
"You made me turn my back on my own son! You came between us. Tell me, Chesha, why should I marry you tomorrow?!" He demanded.  
  
"Because I love you despite it all." She almost cried.  
  
"Really? Is it me or my money you want! Tell me!" He demanded.  
  
"You of course." She was desperate to keep the wedding on. "I love you, Edward. I want to spend the rest of my life with you!"  
  
"Then tell me, if you want to marry me, will you accept my son!" She knew there was only one answer to this question.  
  
"Yes." She whispered. "I just don't approve of what he is."  
  
"I have just realized it's not for us to judge! He's my son whether or not he lies with a woman or a man! While I may not like the person he is with now, that person is at least concerned for my son's well being! I have had enough of you and everyone else telling me how to handle my son! Accept him for what he is or there is no marriage." Edward threatened.  
  
Too many plans.too many preparations and too much money was invested into this celebration. Chesha knew she had to accept his son the way he was. After all, her own son was now out of the closet and doing it with Edward's own relatives! She would have to take care of that later!  
  
"Of course Edward. After all, they say marry the father, you marry the children." She answered. 'Right answer.' She thought to herself.  
  
"I am glad we have an understanding." He turned back toward his future step son. "I want you to move into one of the guestrooms and leave my son's room as it was. Do we understand each other?"  
  
"Yes." He whispered. "I will do that while you both are on your honeymoon."  
  
"While you are it, you will either attend college or get a full-time job." Edward spat at the boy. "You will not live off of my money. It rightfully belongs to my son and me." That made the boy wince. "Are we at an understanding Chesha!" He turned back to his fiancé.  
  
"Yes Edward." She sighed.  
  
Damn it! Chesha had met her match. She had gotten herself into something too deep to get out of. Tomorrow would be her day, but what about the rest of their lives? Her son would have to go to college. She could not support him for the rest of her life and neither could Edward.  
  
"Tomorrow before the ceremony, you will sign a pre-nup. I also will be continuing to pay for my son's education since somehow he lost the scholarship!" Edward walked out of the room making Chesha blanch internally.  
  
Everything had backfired on her and there was no way out.  
  
TBC. 


	18. Mary Sue's Cousin, The Wedding, and Swan...

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you hate shonen-ai, have no sense of humor or are a die hard fan, this is not for you.  
  
SEVENTEEN  
  
Marik walked back toward his little hide away. Before he could get there, a girl just popped up in front of him. She was blond, blue eyed, big boobed, perfect figure and a wide stupid grin on her face.  
  
"I'm going to change your life!" She beamed. "I can shine a light in your darkened soul."  
  
"Who told you!" Marik demanded.  
  
"What?" She demanded.  
  
"How did you know I had a light! Did Bakura tell you? Did Yami tell you? Did they send you to annoy me?!" Marik demanded. "Are you related to that blasted Mary Sue!"  
  
"No! I'm Courtney!" She beamed like a ditz. "I love Yuugi so much that I put myself in here in order to compete with Yami and Anzu for his love!"  
  
"You want the hobbit?" Marik deadpanned. "What is it with you girls and short guys all of a sudden?"  
  
"I'm a self- insertion character! I wish to live in your world because the real world sucks!" She clung onto Marik. "I just want to be with Yuugi because he's the hero and he's sooooooo cool!"  
  
"GET OFF ME YOU!!!" Marik pushed her off. "BEGONE TO THE REAL WORLD!!" He made her vanish with the Millennium Rod. "Yuugi cool? Yeah right! Then I'm an Adonis!"  
  
************************************** ********************************  
  
THE WEDDING DAY..  
  
Bakura wanted to so scream his head off. He would rather be staring at Ryou's naked form without blinking than having to look at the gruesome pack of CEO's before him. He had to keep reminding himself that this was for Ryou and their future. He just felt sorry for his wenches. They would have to whip their smelly butts..and oh did they stink! Heavy perfume was in the air and one could tell they didn't bathe. He lived in Egypt, he knew.  
  
Of course, Bakura had to miss the wedding ceremony! He would barely make it in time for the reception and the promise of having Ryou on the wedding cake.oh what would his family think? The men would be jealous and the women would be in shock. Oh well! RYOU WAS HIS!!!  
  
Thinking of Ryou made this experience bearable. He wouldn't have to be here for long. Bakura would introduce these assholes to the women that hopefully would scare them into taking a bath. Then he would be able to finally leave.  
  
"These are the rooms where people pay by the hour for their masochistic pleasure." Bakura let them look into a room where there was a man tied up bound to the ceiling and a woman was whipping him. "He's a regular. I can't tell you who he is, but he comes here getting his sexual frustrations out because he feels he can't have someone he loves." Kaiba!  
  
The men followed him to the last room in the long corridor. Looking in, they noticed how huge the room was. There were a few women in there talking, waiting for their clients. There were two blondes, one brunette and one red head. They were in leather and chains, their breast nipples visible through the material.  
  
"This will be your room. You cannot touch those women." Bakura warned with a growl. "You are here for them to do what they want to you." 'Hopefully they'll do too good of a job and you idiots won't come back!' Bakura thought. "Remember, I don't run a prostitution ring. Don't even ask how much for sex. It ain't for sale." He opened the door and lethally glared at the gluttonous men as they entered the room.  
  
The four women stopped their banter as they looked up at their clients. Frowns immediately fell upon their faces. What the hell was Bakura thinking? A wave of bad cologne hit their nostrils and they had to keep from gagging. Why the hell couldn't good looking men ask for them? Why? Because handsome men never needed stuff like this! Only Belladonna got the decent ones like Seto Kaiba and he was handsome, but there were rumors he was gay.  
  
"Wenches! I want to introduce you to Martin Brodack, Charles Mench, Hanover Wells, and Moran Bates. Give them what they paid for. I expect you to give them the proper treatment you give any client." Bakura glared at their disgusted looks as he closed the door.  
  
The nightmare was finally over and now he would have Ryou in his arms in no time! Bakura wanted that lithe shapely body in his arms so badly. He wanted to taste that snow white skin.  
  
"Bakura." A female voice interrupted his fantasy. "I need to talk to you."  
  
Belladonna.what did she want? Bakura hoped Seto didn't piss her off again. All he needed was his best wench walking out on him.  
  
"I'm sort of in a hurry, doll." Bakura started as he put on his leather jacket that he left on a chair near the door when he greeted the smelly ones. "I have to be at a wedding and if I miss it, Ryou will be pissed."  
  
"I understand that, but I am having a hard time with my client! He doesn't want to leave. He insists on talking about his problems with this guy he has. I am not interested in being someone's psychologist." She seethed.  
  
"If I paid you extra, would you just listen?" Bakura groaned.  
  
"Fine! It's gonna cost you plenty though!" She growled.  
  
"Just don't cost me my business." Bakura hurried out.  
  
************************************************* ********************* An hour later.  
  
By Ra, this was so fucking boring! Ryou, Yuugi and Yami sat in the back of the large auditorium while the ceremony went on. Why did Chesha have to insist on such a long ceremony? Yuugi had fallen asleep and Yami's head was in his lap. Ryou wished that Bakura was there to lean on. Keeping awake was a bitch! He was sure that his grandmother, the Queen Mother, was less than please about all this.  
  
Ryou wondered where his other was. He thought that Bakura would just take care of his clients and then leave. Sighing to himself, Ryou figured he would see him later on. He hoped they would share a nice slow dance together.  
  
Bakura opened the doors to the auditorium, weary of what was going on. He was decked in his leather apparel, not really caring about the dress code. Right down the middle of the isle was the bitch and the stupid asshole! What a pair! That long train from her head was just too much. How much did they spend on this stupid wedding anyway?  
  
Looking around, the ex-Tomb Robber spotted his albino love and then walked toward the row they say in. Sitting down next to Ryou, he placed a strong arm around the teen's shoulder. Looking past Ryou, he noticed Yuugi and Yami's position. They made such a cute picture at that moment.he hated cute.only Ryou was allowed to be cute.  
  
"Hello Bakura." Ryou whispered as he turned his head. "You got here in time."  
  
"Unfortunately." Bakura growled. "Do you really have to sit in here and listen to all this mushy crap?"  
  
"Unfortunately." Ryou sighed. "I was hoping to see you though." A smile graced the albino's features which melted Bakura's heart. "I missed you." Ryou leaned closer, his head resting on Bakura's shoulder.  
  
"I missed you too. You should have seen the slobs that I had to endure." Bakura growled. "Let's go outside. I don't think anyone would miss us." He gently got Ryou to stand up.  
  
The two albinos quietly walked out of the auditorium.  
  
****************************** ************************** *************  
  
Yami's eyes opened as he looked upon his sleeping Aibou. Poor Yuugi. College and having to put up with his nonsense. 'I have to treat him better than that.' He stared at his other. 'I have to show him how much he means to me. I know! As soon as we get home, I'll plan something elaborate. Something fit for a pharaoh.like me.' A wide grin spread across his face.  
  
Yuugi chose that moment to open his eyes. Yami's grin quickly disappeared. The other yawned as he looked down at the lounging pharaoh. Could Yami say he owned him any other way? Yeesh!  
  
"Did you sleep well?" Yami whispered.  
  
/I did. I know you did also. I don't remember church services being this long. / Yuugi whined.  
  
//I know Aibou. It'll be over soon. I know royal weddings that were shorter than this. // Yami sat up turning toward Ryou and Bakura's spot. //I guess they had the right idea. Wonder where they went? //  
  
/Tell me you aren't going after them? / Yuugi latched onto his sleeve. /Just stay here for once! /  
  
//I wasn't even thinking about it. // Yami smiled at his other as he took a hold of the teen's chin. //I had something better planned in mind. // His lips touched Yuugi's.  
  
******************************** ***************** ****************  
  
20 Minutes later..  
  
To everyone's relief, the ceremony was almost over. Sore butts would get relief soon from sitting around for too long. Everyone just wondered where the moans of pleasure were coming from as the priest hurried to wrap the ceremony up.  
  
"If anyone has any objection as to why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." The priest announced.  
  
"FASTER YAMI!!! OH RA!!! HARDER!!! HARDER!!!" Yuugi screamed out.  
  
Edward groaned in embarrassment. At least it wasn't his son and the Thief. He wasn't about to face a 3000 year old crazy psycho-pharaoh either. He was Pharaoh. He could do what he wanted, where he wanted.  
  
Everyone else turned around to find out where the sounds were coming from. It was as if the two were hiding somewhere. The audience, after giving up trying to find the source, turned back toward the couple.  
  
"I announce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The priest announced red faced.  
  
*********************************** *************************  
  
"So I left poor Belladonna to deal with Kaiba. That guy needs to just tell the stupid mutt that he loves him." Bakura sighed. "Anyway, I'm just glad that I didn't miss much of this." They walked into the garden of the Embassy. "I was thinking of you the whole time."  
  
"Oh really? What is that?" Ryou teased. "Did those men really make you want to scream or something?"  
  
"They were ugly, they stunk and now I see why they can't get laid!" Bakura growled. "It's not like there is a shortage of water anywhere! It doesn't take much effort to take a shower."  
  
Ryou could only laugh at Bakura's predicament. Poor Baku-chan got traumatized rather than the other way around.  
  
"What's so funny?" Bakura demanded.  
  
"You were getting traumatized rather than your victims!" Ryou calmed himself down as Bakura made his other face him.  
  
"Shall I traumatize you then?" He grinned suggestively. "But in a good way of course." He waggled his eye brows. "I did promise you would be done in the wedding cake."  
  
"Why Bakura." Ryou made him stop walking. "The party hasn't even started yet." He leaned against Bakura's muscular build, his hands on his massive chest moving up to embrace the other around his neck. "Besides." His smile fell. "I have to be there for the family pictures."  
  
"Oh fun! Can I be in them too?" Bakura grinned deviously.  
  
"I could only imagine what mayhem you would cause." Ryou sighed. "I doubt he would let you in it."  
  
"S'okay." Bakura hugged him. "I am sure there will plenty of opportunity for us to get out pictures taken in the future. In fact, I was going to celebrate our first time with a video camera."  
  
"BAKURA!!" Ryou blushed. "How could you think of that?" The doors to the auditorium opened as people filed out. "I guess the ceremony is over." He leaned his head against Bakura's chest.  
  
************************ ********************** *********************  
  
"I cannot believe we did that. That was so.well." Yuugi started as he buttoned up his shirt.  
  
"I am pharaoh. I could do what I want." Yami smiled deviously. "In fact, maybe I'll take you again in front of everyone at the reception."  
  
"Oh sure! Then my grandfather will get wind of it and never want to speak to me again." Yuugi sighed. "You need to control yourself."  
  
"You're too irresistible." Yami waggled his eyes brows.  
  
"Get over it." Yuugi got off the floor and then walked toward the exit.  
  
"WAIT UP!!" Yami ran after him, hopping on one leg getting his boot on.  
  
*************** *************************** *********************** ****  
  
Bakura watched bored as his light got his picture taken with the rest of the family. He was the only shining light in the whole bunch. The rest of them needed a paper bag over their heads! Yuck! The Queen mother seemed to be the spotlight in each picture. Talk about ass kissing.  
  
After the pictures were taken, Ryou rejoined his other. He gently latched onto his arm as Bakura escorted him to the reception hall. By Ra, he was being a perfect gentleman and Ryou was enjoying every minute of it.  
  
Stepping into the reception hall was like stepping into a fantasy land. It was decorated in the theme of swans and snow and a lake was in the center of room with real swans in it. Streamers were everywhere made of satin white and the massive wedding cake rested on the other side of the small lake.  
  
"This is beautiful." Ryou whispered to himself.  
  
"Can I eat one of those birds while they are still alive?" Bakura bared his canines.  
  
"Bakura!" The Albino scolded. "You can't! They are part of the party. They were there to enhance the place, not as food!"  
  
"But there's more of a challenge of chasing your dinner down before you capture it!" Bakura was anxious.  
  
"It's either Fish or Chicken! They will not be alive. They will be dead on your plate." Ryou pointed out.  
  
"I'll have the lasagna." Bakura moaned in disappointment as the two found their seats. "I spotted the wedding cake." He whispered in his love's ear. "Nice and white and pure just like you."  
  
"Oh?" Ryou turned toward the place where the cake was as Bakura buried his face in the albino's hair. "It's huge!"  
  
"And perfect." Bakura concluded.  
  
"Bakura, we'll take a piece home and do that." Ryou giggled. "I don't think my father would appreciate a dinner and a show like that."  
  
"I think most of the men in your family would." Bakura grunted. "I think you turned the men in your family over to the other side."  
  
Ryou almost choked on that. That was not a comforting thought. That was all he needed.his male relatives lusting after him. Bakura would kill them though if they tried anything.right?  
  
"Um.you would protect me if they tried anything, wouldn't you?" Ryou whispered.  
  
"Of course. I'd rip them apart if they tried anything." Bakura sat upright as Yami and Yuugi sat down. "You two look a bit flushed. What the hell happened! You couldn't wait?"  
  
"We did it between the I do's and the part where that frustrated guy asks if anyone has a problem with them getting married." Yami caught his breath. "Yuugi screamed out, but it was anything but a protest." He smiled deviously.  
  
"I can't believe you did that." Ryou blushed in embarrassment.  
  
"As I said to Yuugi, I have been at royal wedding ceremonies that took less time than that!" Yami pointed out. "Anyway, I'm pharaoh! I'll do what I want when I want!"  
  
"Newsflash! You aren't pharaoh anymore!" Bakura reminded him.  
  
"I'm still royalty." Yami pouted.  
  
"Yeah! You're King of the Johns!" Bakura spat.  
  
"What the hell is that!" Yami demanded.  
  
"The toilets!" Bakura shot back.  
  
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!" Yami stood up as he smacked his palms on the table.  
  
"You both will stop this instant!" Ryou stood up glaring at both of them and then turned his attention towards Yami. "Sit down!" He ordered as Yami sat back down. "You should know better than to act like a spoiled child!" Ryou sat back down himself, sighing.  
  
"He started it." Yami stated in a small voice.  
  
TBC.I have to torture all of you! 


	19. Yami Takes Away Bakura's Cake!

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you do not have a sense of humor, hate shonen-ai or are a serious fan, this is not for you! No wedding cakes have been harmed in the making of this fic! The swans have been sent to intense psychotherapy.  
  
MARIK'S INSANE PLOT  
CHAPTER 18  
  
'I must have them! When will the damn author of this fic ever let me get them! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!' Marik screamed in his mind. 'When will I get to marry Ryou!! ?'  
  
At that moment, as if there was a cross over, the Borg (1) had invaded Marik's space. Of course, the psycho blond found this very intriguing as the cold humanoid machines walked over to him.  
  
"Are you guys here for some kind of bondage party?" Marik grinned deviously. "If so, I'm in!"  
  
"We are the Borg!" One of them announced.  
  
"So you're Swedish!! Where are the hot big breasted blond chics?" Marik practically panted. "I want to show them my big giant rod!!" He showed them the Millennium Rod. "Ain't it big?"  
  
"RETREAT!!!!" Shouted a female voice. "WE DON'T WANT HIS UNIQUE PERSONALITY ASSIMILATED INTO OUR COLLECTIVE!!! HE WILL NEVER REPLACE LOCUTUS!!"  
  
"Who the hell is that?" Marik raised a brow as the Borg disappeared. "Aw nuts! I was going to ask if them if they wanted to play nude twister."  
  
************************ *************************** ******************  
  
THE WEDDING PART DUEX.  
  
Ryou kept slapping Bakura hands away from his thigh. If that damned idiot didn't stop in two minutes.  
  
"Bakura." Ryou hissed. "Stop it!"  
  
"But Ryou." He whined as the albino sighed. "I'm horny." That made Ryou blush a bright red.  
  
"So am I, but you don't hear me complaining." Yami interrupted from across the table.  
  
"Yeah! Because you got some before you came here! I can't believe you both are into public displays! Have you no shame?!" Bakura demanded.  
  
"I'll think about that while I'm with my Aibou." Yami took Yuugi's hand. "Come on, I have to use the washroom." He dragged his very sore other half behind him. "We'll be back later!"  
  
"He did that to piss me off!" Bakura growled. "You wanna dance?" He turned toward Ryou.  
  
"Um, sure. I didn't know you could dance." The albino inquired.  
  
"No. I just want an excuse to grab your ass." Bakura waggled his eye brows.  
  
The next moment, Bakura found himself doubled over on the ground. Ryou was less than pleased with the Thief's behavior. When he was going to learn to be a gentleman?  
  
"If you'll excuse me." Ryou walked out of the reception.  
  
"He got me in the stomach again." Bakura choked out.  
  
******************************* ************************* ***********  
  
Ryou walked toward the exit so he could be alone in the lush garden. Someone grasped his arm making him stop in his tracks. Who the hell dare do that?  
  
"Ryou." His father had stopped him.  
  
"Father." He answered shocked.  
  
"Where are you going?" He asked.  
  
"Outside to cool off. I'll be back, don't worry." Ryou smiled.  
  
"I don't want you to miss anything. I'm sorry for the way I." His father started.  
  
"You don't need to apologize. You already did before the ceremony. I just want to go outside for some fresh air." Ryou felt his father let go of him.  
  
"I'll see you inside later then." He watched his son leave the reception.  
  
Edward headed back toward his bride for another dance. He hated to dance. Couldn't they just sit down for a while? As he walked away, a few dozen men swarmed to the French doors to stare at Ryou.  
  
****************************** ************************ ***********  
  
Bakura recovered from the dull ache in his gut. He was glad his light didn't pack much of a punch. Slowly getting up from his chair, he noticed the spectacle at the French doors. What the hell was going on? Where was Ryou?  
  
Walking over to the group of jackals, Bakura moved in on their group and then listened in on their conversation. He gasped as he heard "Ryou" and "nice ass". NO ONE looked at Ryou that way except HIM!!!  
  
"If you perverts don't want to experience the many forms of death I could inflict, I would suggest you stop staring at Ryou this instant!" Bakura growled, his hands clenched into fists.  
  
The group of men turned around. Their eyes were wide. This man looked just like Ryou, but with noticeable differences. The worst part was, Bakura looked pissed off and ready to kill.  
  
"Well? I could tell your wives what really turns you on!" The Thief threatened. "You can explain to your significant others why you prefer dick."  
  
"Who are you!" One of them demanded.  
  
"Your worst nightmare if you don't get away from that door in a minute!" Bakura growled.  
  
"Oh sure! If he's not here with you, then you must have turned him off! After all, I wouldn't want to be seen with someone like you!" That made Bakura see red.  
  
"YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET THAT MORTAL!!" Bakura sent the fool to the Shadow Realm. "Any other takers?!" He demanded.  
  
The group of men scattered. No one piece of ass was worth getting killed over. Their wives were looking better and better.  
  
"FASTER YAMI, FASTER!!!" Could be heard over the music.  
  
Bakura smacked his own forehead. Those two needed serious psychotherapy! He never took the pharaoh to be a sex addict. Now he was dragging Yuugi down with him! Bakura could picture it now.he would step into the game shop and the two would be humping on the counter! Shaking his head, Bakura stepped outside to find Ryou. He did not need to picture that!  
  
****************************** ************************** **************  
  
'Bakura makes me so mad! He could be so loveable one minute and then the next.' Ryou shuddered. 'Is it too much to ask that he act like a gentleman more often?'  
  
Two strong arms slid around his waist. Ryou closed his eyes and leaned back into the familiar touch.  
  
"What am I going to do with you?" Ryou sighed.  
  
"Torture me slowly and painfully?" Bakura suggested. "You know like get a car battery and use the jumper cables?"  
  
"You are sick." Ryou giggled. "That's a good one though."  
  
"I'm rubbing off on you, ain't I?" Bakura laughed.  
  
"Sure. Oh, you promised me something love. I have yet to experience it." Ryou turned in his embrace.  
  
"Oh yeah! The wedding cake! I haven't forgotten. I'm just waiting for the right moment." Bakura started.  
  
"GET THOSE TWO OFF THE WEDDING CAKE!!" A voice screamed inside.  
  
Bakura ran to the door with Ryou following calmly behind him. There in the wedding cake were the two psychotic nymphomaniacs! They took his cake! They took his opportunity away! How dare Yami do this to him! THE PHARAOH WOULD PAY!!!  
  
Ryou's jaw dropped. He could not believe those two would actually do it. He watched as two security guards removed the two minks in heat. Looking toward his father, his eyes were wide as saucers. His grandmother seemed to have a wide smile on her face. She was amused by the show. His now step mom was crying. The reception was ruined she kept chanting over and over. Oh well.Yuugi and Yami would spending the night in jail. Yuugi's grandfather was not going to be happy about this!  
  
"I don't believe they did that." Ryou whispered. "It was quite a show."  
  
"I'm going to fucking KILL the pharaoh for doing that! That was MY cake to claim!" He took out his cell phone and then dialed a number. "Hello Jack? I want to order a special cake and I want it delivered to my place tomorrow!" He paused. "A wedding cake." Ryou turned toward Bakura confused. "The biggest wedding cake you could create, preferably chocolate." He smiled. "Thank you." He closed the phone. "I'm not going to let that little son of a jackal take away MY fun!" He growled.  
  
"What did you just do?" Ryou asked.  
  
"I ordered a wedding cake just for us so I can do you on it!" Bakura smirked.  
  
******************** *********************** ***********************  
  
They were both in the back of the police car. Yuugi faced the window away from his other. Yami could feel the anger through their link. His Aibou had not spoken to him since they left the reception. He guessed doing it on the wedding cake was pushing it. Yami loved his Aibou. He just wanted the world to know. If this were his kingdom, no one would have questioned his motives. Yami guessed have sex in public was against the law.  
  
"Aibou." Yami started.  
  
"I'm not talking to you." Yuugi hissed.  
  
"Aibou, I'm sorry. I took it too far. It won't happen again." Yami promised.  
  
"No, it won't." Yuugi turned back to him. "You may have been pharaoh, but that doesn't give you the right to do things whenever and where ever you please!"  
  
"I know that." Yami whispered.  
  
"What is my grandfather going to think?" He sighed dejectedly. "He is so going to be disappointed in me. What if this gets out?"  
  
"Do you really care?" Yami asked. "I only wanted to let everyone know that I love you."  
  
"The whole world really doesn't care, Yami." Yuugi pointed out. "It's sweet, but you went too far. At least you saved Ryou and Bakura the embarrassment of getting arrested for wanting to do the same thing!"  
  
"They were going to do that?!" Yami was shocked.  
  
"Of course. I'm sure Bakura is cursing you out right now for taking his fun away." Yuugi giggled as the car stopped.  
  
Arriving at the station, the cops pulled into a space and then opened the doors to the back. They pulled their prisoners out and then escorted them to the police station.  
  
"Do we get a phone call at least!" Yami complained.  
  
*********************************** **************************** ******  
  
Ryou led Bakura toward the gardens away from the reception. Satisfied that they were far enough away, Ryou placed his arms around his love's neck, his body resting against the muscular build of the Tomb Robber. A smile adorned his face as Bakura felt his heart melt. Ryou looked so beautiful like that.  
  
"Maybe it was for the best that we didn't do something like that." Ryou started. "It would be worse if it were us. After all, my father and I are now getting along. It would have been a stab in the back if we did that."  
  
"I know. That would have been fun though." Bakura pointed out.  
  
"We could have just gotten a piece and smeared it on each other out here in private." Ryou suggested.  
  
"Nah. I have one better. The cake we get tomorrow we could do what we want with it." The Tomb Robber thought about it. "I just feel badly for my maid after the mess we make."  
  
"Maybe we should clean it up ourselves after?" The albino emphasized.  
  
"What fun would that be?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Your maid won't be out to kill you." Ryou answered.  
  
"She has to catch me first!" He waggled his eye brows.  
  
"She will." Ryou shook his head. "You are so silly sometimes."  
  
"Oh really?" Bakura started as he tightened his grip on his helpless victim. "Let's see how silly I could really get!" His grin was devious as Ryou felt the urge to run.  
  
"Bakura? Um.what are you." Ryou started.  
  
***************************** ********************** ***************  
  
A Few minutes later..  
  
"IS THAT ALL!!?" Ryou practically screamed.  
  
"I-I swear, I don't know what happened. I guess Little Bakura got limp by seeing those going at it on the wedding cake." Bakura almost cried. "I mean, how would you feel seeing those two naked?"  
  
*************************** ********************** ****************  
  
Solomon was not all thrilled about hearing that his son and that Pharaoh were being held at a police station for something he didn't even want to think about. Entering the building, the elder Motou walked up to the front desk.  
  
"I am here to bail out my grandson and his friend." Solomon growled out the latter. 'When I get my hands on that pharaoh, I am so going to kick his ass into the Stone Age!'  
  
"Name?"  
  
************************* ************************ ****************  
  
"Do you think we'll be staying here for a long time?" Yami asked.  
  
"No. They can't lock us up for life for having sex on a wedding cake. After all, the cake isn't alive." Yuugi sighed.  
  
A police officer walked up to the cell door and then unlocked it. The two looked up wondering what was going on.  
  
"You're free to go. All charges were dropped. Just don't do that again, please." The officer begged as the two rushed out of the dingy cell.  
  
************************ ************************ ***************  
  
Yuugi and Yami ran into the lobby and noticed the old man standing there with an angry look on his face. Yuugi bowed his head in shame as Yami raised a brow.  
  
"Don't raise that brow at me, young man! What you did at that wedding was.was." He couldn't find the words to describe his disgust.  
  
"Don't knock it until you tried it!" Yami growled.  
  
"SHUT UP!!" Solomon shouted at him as he hit the youth over the head with his slipper. "If you want to have sex in public with other people, that's your prerogative! You will not do that with Yuugi again!"  
  
"Yes sir." Yami bowed his head also, rubbing the sore spot where the old man hit him.  
  
"Now let's go home." Solomon huffed as he walked out of the police station with the two wayward youths in tow.  
  
*************************** ******************************* ************  
  
"Someone! Big brother! Where is my food! I have to go to the bathroom! Someone! Anyone? I'm here! I'm alone!" Mokuba shouted.  
  
"Shut up! You're giving me a migraine!" Malik groaned.  
  
TBC. (1) The Borg are from Stark Trek: The Next Generation. I kept seeing First Conact on Cinemax and had that on the mind. 


	20. Yami and Bakura Strike Out!

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you hate Shonen-Ai, are a serious fan or have no sense of humor, this isn't for you.  
  
NINETEEN  
  
Marik, insanely bored, played with the latest in Pentium Technology...that is until it blew up.  
  
"THAT'S THE 100th THIS WEEK!!! WHAT GIVES!!" Marik threw down the burnt out tower. "I just want cybersex! Is that too much to ask? After all, how much longer can I play with a KISS doll that looks like Ryou? I ran out of dresses to put on him!"  
  
"There was nothing wrong with those computers!" A boy with short blue hair, wide green eyes and a short stature appeared. "I am Noah Kaiba and I have found my way back!"  
  
"You're not even part of the original story plot of the manga! GET LOST, YOU QUATRE WINNER WANNA BE!!"  
  
"Who's that?" Noah raised a brow.  
  
"You want to meet him?" An evil smirk appeared on Marik's face. "He's worse on the cute-o-meter than Yuugi. In fact, teddy bears cringe in his presence!"  
  
"I thought Ryou was cute in your opinion." Noah shot back.  
  
"No. He's beautiful! There's a difference!" Marik snorted. "Where is my medication?" He looked around.  
  
"A-HEM!!" Noah cleared his throat to get the idiot's attention back.  
  
"Oh yeah! I have to bring Quatre here! Just a second!" He made the Millennium Rod appear. "Just watch!" He focused all his energy.  
  
At that moment, two figures appeared. One was a short blond and the other was a short brunette with a braid. Marik's tongue fell out of his mouth at that sight of the one with the braid.  
  
"Where the hell are we?" Duo asked as he looked around and then noticed an insane looking man with spiky hair and a boy with blue hair. "Who's the super saiyan wanna be?" He checked out Marik. "He looks weird."  
  
"I think maybe we shouldn't go near them!" Quatre warned. "I have this feeling."  
  
"Maybe it's gas!" Marik suggested as he approached the two. "I am Marik. This is Noah and I wanted to prove to him that he is nothing more than a Quatre Winner wanna be."  
  
"Wanna be what?" Quatre asked.  
  
"That doesn't explain why I'm here!" Duo huffed. "Where's Heero!"  
  
"I AM NOT A QUATRE WANNA BE!!! HE'S NOT CUTER THAN ME!!" Noah screamed like a spoiled brat as the two Gundam pilots covered their ears.  
  
"Man, some one needs to duct tape his mouth shut." Duo groaned as Marik kept checking him out. "WILL YOU STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!?"  
  
"I think you're delicious, just like Ryou, but Bakura won't let me have him!" Marik pouted.  
  
"Maybe there's a reason for that like you're insane!" Duo shot back as Marik grabbed him an embrace. "LET GO YOU STUPID MORON!!"  
  
"Oh come on! Just one kiss! I promise to let you go after! I'll show you my Millennium Rod! It's really big!" Marik waggled his eyes as the safety of a gun clicking off was heard making the insane Egyptian's eyes widen.  
  
"Let him go or I'll kill you." A deep voice threatened.  
  
Looking back, Marik noticed cold blue eyes piercing back at his. He quickly dropped Duo and then ran for his life.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! IT'S KAIBA!!!! IT'S KAIBA!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" He ran off, arms flailing.  
  
"I'm Heero." He grunted as he put away his gun. "Are you two okay?"  
  
"I think so." Duo replied.  
  
"I feel..." Quatre started.  
  
"That's nice" Heero cut him off. "Let's leave before Trowa has a heart attack." He opened a portal and the three left.  
  
Silence met Noah's ears. Looking around, he found himself all alone...just like the virtual world...with those incompetent five idiots...he was all alone...  
  
"Hello? Anyone there? Hello?" Noah sniffed as tears welled up in his eyes. "NO ONE LOVES ME!!!"  
  
************************************ ********************** ***********  
  
Bakura sat at the table disappointed. Little Bakura couldn't "stand to attention" and he had not seen Ryou since. The albino wailed that he wasn't attractive enough and ran into the bathroom.  
  
Of course, Bakura entertained the Queen all night with his tales from Egypt. The old woman thought he was making it up. In fact, she even told him he would be a great story teller if he put his mind to it. The Tomb Robber guessed not only would she not believe his tales, but she wanted him to do better for Ryou.  
  
The party was winding down, a new cake was eaten and Bakura figured he had better look for his lost love. Ryou could not be in the bathroom after all this time. With his father and his new bride gone, where would he be then?  
  
Stepping into the bathroom, he noticed Ryou just staring at himself in the mirror. Was he like this for the past few hours? Bakura thought maybe he should give the albino some time to cool down, but this was ridiculous!  
  
"Ryou?" Bakura asked as he stepped beside his light. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah. You know, I had the most unusual experience just before." Ryou started.  
  
"What was it?" He asked.  
  
"I had a conversation with my mother." Ryou started.  
  
"You had a conversation with someone who's dead?" Bakura asked. "If that's what happens when I can't get it up, we're in trouble." He growled.  
  
"No, it's not that. I also did a lot of thinking about father and his new bride. I mean, all she wanted to do was come between my father and I and she failed. My mother told me just to be there for my father when he needs me. I have to at least respect her wishes."  
  
"You're mad at me, aren't you." Bakura deadpanned.  
  
"No. Well, yes, but...I just want you to understand what my mother told me." Ryou was frustrated by now.  
  
"You are really REALLY mad at me aren't you." Bakura sighed.  
  
"Bakura!" Ryou whined. "Stop already! Let's just leave." He pulled on his other's arm.  
  
"I promise I will make this up to you tomorrow!" Bakura almost cried.  
  
*********************** ************************* ***************  
  
"Come on! Just strip for me!" Yami begged Yuugi.  
  
"I have to get up early tomorrow! Ji-Chan is going to be gone and I have to mind the shop." Yuugi growled in annoyance.  
  
"Just for me? Pretty Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" His eyes became wide and doe like.  
  
"No!" Yuugi shouted back.  
  
"You're still mad about the police thingy aren't you." Yami frowned.  
  
"Nooooooooooooo!! I'm so happy that I was caught with my pants down, LITERALLY!!" Yuugi got into bed and then buried himself under the covers.  
  
Yami moved over to the bed. He had to get back in his Aibou's good graces, but how?  
  
"Aibou." He gently placed a hand on the teen's shoulder. "Aibou?" Yuugi grabbed the pillow and covered his own head with it. "Look, I'm really really sorry that happened. I just...I really love you...in love with you..." His voice trailed off. "I guess I just got carried away..." He sighed. "I don't want this to ruin what we have."  
  
"Go to sleep, Yami. I'm over it, okay? I just want to sleep right now! I have to get up early." Yuugi groaned as the pharaoh removed the pillow. "YAMI!!" he practically shouted.  
  
"I'm not letting you sleep right now until you really listen to me." Yami protested.  
  
"I listened, okay? I'm not in the mood right now!" Yuugi wriggled away from his other.  
  
"Please Aibou?" Yami pleaded as Yuugi took the pillow from his other and smacked him in the face with it.  
  
"GO DOWNSTAIRS AND SLEEP ON THE COUCH!! WHAT PART OF NO DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!!?" Yuugi thundered as the pharaoh backed away in fear.  
  
"The N?" Yami grinned sheepishly as Yuugi pointed to the door. "Fine." He moved toward the door.  
  
"Oh Yami?" Yuugi asked sweetly as the other hoped his other changed his mind.  
  
"Yes Aibou?" Yami asked.  
  
"Here!" A pillow was smacked in his face. "Good night!"  
  
********************** ************************ *********************  
  
They had gotten home in record time. Ryou entered first as Bakura dropped the keys on a table near the door. Walking toward the answering machine in the living room, he noticed it was blinking. Pressing the button, he began to listen to his messages.  
  
"Hello you bastard! Do you know how long that stupid asshole client of mine took? Two and a half hours! Two and a half hours of crying about this damn guy he wanted who probably wasn't worth anything! Let him go talk to a professional about this! In fact, maybe I should seek counseling and you could pay for it!" Belladonn'a angry voice sounded over the machine.  
  
"She does bondage sessions and now she thinks she needs counseling?" Bakura growled.  
  
"By the way, you owe me big time pal!" Then there was a click.  
  
Bakura pressed down the button again for the next message. There was heavy breathing on the other end. Sighing, Bakura sat down on the couch in the dark living room listening to the stupid moron make a fool of him.  
  
"Ooooooooooh Ryou. Oooooooh how I dream of your sexy delicious body! How I crave to take your rod into my mouth and suck on it like a lollipop!" Bakura's eyes became wide. "I can show you mine also! It's gold, and long and cold...I could warm it up with my mouth..." Bakura began to growl in annoyance, his right eye twitching. "It's Marik! Give me a call okay? If you get Rishid, hang up. Oh, and don't tell Bakura! Bye!"  
  
"I'm going to so kill that bastard when I get a hold of him." Bakura growled menacingly.  
  
"Hello? Bakura are you there? It's Yami. Yuugi made me sleep on the couch. Could you tell me how I could get back in his good graces?"  
  
"Leave." Bakura muttered.  
  
"Call me, okay? By the way, sorry about all the shit I pulled." Then there was a click.  
  
"Hi! This is Anzu! Why don't you guys ever call me anymore?" The voice whined.  
  
"Because you're annoying!" Bakura answered.  
  
"Anyway, I'm in town for a while, so give me a call when you get a chance! Byee!" Then there was a click.  
  
"Hey Bakura! This is Mai! I thought over your proposal of being a bondage babe. Considering the job market, I'll take it! Give me a call!" Then there was a click.  
  
"Oooooooh yes!" Bakura's grin became devious. "Another big breasted wench! Heh!"  
  
"End of messages." The voice announced.  
  
"Than Ra!" Bakura got up to search for Ryou. "I wonder where my little bunny hopped off to."  
  
********************* ************************** ******************  
  
Ryou stepped into the shower. Gods, he needed a nice warm relaxing shower. The wedding was stressful enough, although, it went smoothly. At least he and his father had become friends again.  
  
The albino's thoughts then turned to Bakura as the warm water cascaded over his tired body. Was seeing Yami and Yuugi in the throws of passion that much of a traumatic experience? Ryou thought they looked quite attractive together. Yuugi could use a few extra pounds... Oh well. Bakura really needed to get over it already!  
  
Ryou gasped feeling two muscular arms slither around his waist. He was pulled back against a warm body and he could feel not only the hard muscles in his chest, but another part that was hard also. His eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"You're taking a shower without me?" Bakura whispered in his ear. "I don't think so."  
  
"Bakura?" Ryou asked.  
  
"Who else would it be?" Bakura growled. "Little Bakura wants to come out and play." He licked his light's ear. "Are you up to it?" He dove for his neck, nipping and sucking the same spot.  
  
"Oh yessssssss." Ryou hissed, his eyes drifting shut as he let Bakura do as he pleased.  
  
Bakura's strong skilled fingers caressed their way down Ryou's pale lithe form. They lightly danced down the sides of his body and then one grasped the albino's arousal as the other wrapped around his waist. Ryou craned his neck back as they shared a very heated kiss. Tongues warred for dominance which Bakura had won. His other hand became very busy making his bunny moan in ecstasy.  
  
Bakura felt his own member harden and he was ready to take Ryou for a little ride. This was the moment he waited for! This was the moment they would be one forever! Oh yes! He would make his little bunny scream in ultimate passion!  
  
At that moment, like always, there was a knock on the bathroom door. Bakura froze as Ryou moaned in protest. Who the hell would be in their little nest at this time?  
  
"You locked the door, didn't you 'Kura?" Ryou asked.  
  
"Of course I did. I don't know who the hell that could be. Whoever it is though, is going to die!" Bakura growled as he reluctantly let go of his Ryou and then grabbed a towel to put around his waist.  
  
The angry ex-Tomb Robber opened the door only to face a very distraught Yami. The pharaoh looked absolutely pathetic!  
  
"Once again you ruin things! Do you do this to me on purpose or what?!" Bakura demanded.  
  
"Yuugi won't sleep with me." Yami sniffed.  
  
"I wouldn't sleep with you! Why are you here! Why don't you just leave me the hell alone!" He demanded as Ryou appeared at the bathroom door also in his white bathrobe.  
  
"Yami?" Ryou asked in disbelief. "Why are you here?"  
  
"Yuugi won't sleep with me! He threw me out of our room!" Yami broke down as Ryou gathered the pathetic pharaoh in his arms.  
  
"There, there Yami." Ryou pat his back. "Tell me all about it." Bakura's jaw hit the floor.  
  
"Ryou! Bunny?" Bakura asked as walked Yami into the living room. "Ra- Damned Pharaoh! I am so going to kick his scrawny ass!"  
  
********************* ********************** *******************  
  
Marik's plans were going to work if he had anything to say about it! He wanted Ryou and he wanted him now! Oh yes! FIRST, he would lure the albino beauty into his lair with a cute little toy kitten. His green eyes would light up with awe and then he would follow the little kitty into Marik's lair. Then Marik had planned on dining and dancing and then maybe some dessert...chocolate!  
  
"You know that's not going to work! Ryou isn't an airhead like you!" Malik taunted.  
  
"It will work! Itwillitwillitwill!!" Marik threw a tantrum. "Besides, no one can resist the cuteness of a kitten!"  
  
"If you say so. By the way, it's time to feed Mokuba! You need to really let him go since you don't even remember why you kidnapped him in the first place!" Malik shook his head.  
  
"Why did I kidnap him?" Marik asked confused.  
  
"I don't know." Malik lied. "Why don't you just let him go?"  
  
"OKAY!" His eyes lit up as he skipped away from Malik's pyramid prison.  
  
"Idiot." The Egyptian growled.  
  
TBC... 


	21. Ryou Fakes An Orgasm!

Disclaimer: None of this is mine! If you are a die hard fan, hate shonen- ai or don't have a sense of humor, this isn't for you.  
  
TWENTY  
  
"And then he threw a pillow at me and told me to sleep on the couch." Yami's head was resting on Ryou's chest.  
  
"It's okay, Yami. I'm sure this will blow over by tomorrow." Ryou soothed as Bakura continually glared at the pharaoh. "Yuugi loves you. I'm sure you two could work things out."  
  
"I hope so." Yami sighed, content where he was at the moment much to Bakura's consternation.  
  
'I will kill him! I will wait until Ryou goes to sleep and then I will kill him!' Bakura growled in his mind.  
  
"Now why don't you go home and wait until tomorrow. After all, a fresh mind is better than one that is polluted with thoughts from the night before." Ryou smiled.  
  
"I need more comforting." Yami murmured.  
  
"I think you've had enough for one day, you bastard!" Bakura got off the chair and then grabbed Yami by the back of his collar. "You and I are going to have a little talk." Bakura dragged the resisting pharaoh out of the room.  
  
"BYE RYOU!! THANKS!!" Yami managed to shout out.  
  
"I hope Bakura doesn't hurt him too bad." Ryou sighed.  
  
************************ *************************** ******************  
  
Bakura dragged the pharaoh into the kitchen and then threw him into a chair. Sitting on the otherside of the table, Bakura glared at Yami.  
  
"Would you like if I did that to your Yuugi!" Bakura demanded.  
  
"No." Yami started.  
  
"THEN KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF MY RYOU!!!" Bakura screamed.  
  
"But he's cute...like a bunny!" Yami's eyes became wide.  
  
"I only have the right to call him that! GET.OUT." Bakura grabbed him by the collar again and then threw him out the door. "AND STAY OUT!!" He slammed the door shut.  
  
Bakura felt his anger melt away. Even though the moment was ruined, he at least could look forward to spending the night cuddling with his little bunny.  
  
"Is he gone?" Ryou asked.  
  
"Yep. The jerkoff is gone." Bakura stated as Ryou approached him in a very suggestive manner. "Ryou?" Now this was not like his innocent little bunny...and maybe he would get some after all and fuck like bunnies!  
  
"Good!" Ryou took a hold of Bakura's robe by the lapels and then forced him into a kiss.  
  
'Ryou?' Bakura thought, but figured not to complain. Something came over the albino and Bakura was going to take full advantage of it. Gently placing his arms around the lithe form, the ex-Tomb Robber pulled Ryou's body flush against his, their hardened erections pressing against each other.  
  
Of course, once again, there was a knock at the door. Growling, Ryou let go of Bakura and then marched to the door wondering who the hell was ruining HIS special moment! He did not want to die a virgin damn it! He wanted to do it before he got old!  
  
Opening the door, Yami stood there grinning like an idiot. It fell when he saw the enraged look in Ryou's eyes.  
  
"What.do.you.want!" He demanded.  
  
"Uh, I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar." Yami asked as Ryou grabbed him by his collar.  
  
"That's it! Every time Bakura and I have a moment, you have to ruin things! I was willing to let it go the last time, but this time, I am not! I AM NOT GOING TO WAIT UNTIL I AM OLD AND FRAIL TO GET IT!" Ryou opened a door and threw Yami into the closet. "NOW STAY THERE UNTIL WE ARE FINISHED!!" He pushed a large oak table infront of the door. "There." He breathed as he faced a wide eyed Bakura.  
  
"Wait!" Yami's muffled voice came through the door. "I have to interfere. I'm just like that!"  
  
"That's it!" Ryou walked toward Bakura, placed a hand over his love's mouth and then hissed. "Keep quiet!" Bakura nodded in agreement.  
  
Wrapping one leg around Bakura's, Ryou began his act. This would be the only way to get rid of the interfering pharaoh! Oh yes!  
  
"Oooooooooooooh Bakura! Oh Ra! Give it to me hard! HARD!! HARDER!!! OOOOOOOOOH BAKURA!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!!" Ryou screamed out loud.  
  
Bakura began to sweat. Ryou looked good in the throws of passion, fake or not! By Ra, he was a good actor! Bakura couldn't wait to do the real thing. He had to control himself right there in order to get rid of that Ra-damned Pharaoh!  
  
"Oh yes! OH RA!! FASTER!!! FASTER!! HARDER!! HARDER!!! BAKURAAAAAAAA!!" Ryou screamed as he buried his face against Bakura's chest giggling.  
  
"No Ryou! Tell me it isn't soooooooooo!" Wailed a voice from the closet.  
  
Ryou let go of Bakura who fell back on the floor with his member standing at attention. Walking toward the closet, Ryou moved the table and then opened the door as Yami fell out. His ear must have been pressed against the door listening to Ryou in his throws of simulated passion.  
  
Quickly getting to his feet, Yami took a hold of Ryou by his arms, his eyes wide. What the hell was wrong with him??  
  
"Tell me you didn't do it with him!!" Yami wailed.  
  
"I did." Ryou simply answered.  
  
"NONONONO!!! I wanted to be your first!" Yami cried.  
  
"Get over it and get out and DON'T EVER THINK OF ME THAT WAY AGAIN!!" Ryou threw him out of their home. "Idiot!" He slammed the door shut.  
  
The albino turned toward Bakura who was lying on the floor, his dark erection in the air. Ryou sat beside him, fascinated by it. He was so much bigger and by Ra, did Ryou want to ride him...but he wanted Bakura to be conscious when he did...Damn!  
  
********************** ************************ *******************  
  
Mokuba had found his way home. Running into the massive mansion, Mokuba found his way to his brother's room. He could not wait to see him. God, he missed him so! He was also starving...  
  
"Oh yes Kaiba! Gods, do that again!" Mokuba stopped right in his tracks.  
  
"What the..." He slowly approached his brother's room.  
  
There Mokuba found Jou and Seto playing video games. Of course Seto had to show off how great he was. Jou seemed to be entertained by all of it.  
  
"Brother." Mokuba spoke as Seto stopped playing, threw the joy stick down and then ran toward his brother.  
  
"What happened? Are you okay? Did my men find you?" Seto took a hold of his little brother and hugged him to his chest.  
  
"No. Marik let me go." Mokuba stated.  
  
"Marik? You mean that psychotic son of a bitch had you!" He demanded.  
  
"Yes. He treated me awful! He wanted virgin sacrifices! He wanted me, Yuugi and Ryou, but he forgot what he wanted and then he let me go because he forgot why he kidnapped me, but he wants to marry Ryou." He cried.  
  
"Eww...poor Ryou!" Jou commented.  
  
"I am going to kill Marik." Seto growled. "I will make him pay for putting my brother through this."  
  
******************** ************************************* **********  
  
Bakura must have had a lot of blood flow to that area. Ryou sat there with his legs crossed and his arms resting on his knees waiting for the ex-Tomb Robber to wake up. Maybe if he suggested something really REALLY grotesque...  
  
"Oooooooh Bakuraaaaaaa!" Ryou sing songed. "If you can hear me, picture Yuugi's grandfather naked." Ryou giggled, but there was no response. "Okay...Yuugi naked? Anzu naked? Honda naked? The Queen mother naked?" He raised a brow. "My step-mother naked!"  
  
"NO!!! I WAS HAVING A NICE DREAM!!!" Bakura woke up, his member softening up. "It involved you and some bunnies...I just don't know where the bunnies came from or why they were there..." He thought for a moment. "Oh yeah...they were giving sex advice." That made Ryou burst out laughing.  
  
"Bakura..." Ryou managed to finally calm down. "Let's...let's go to bed. We can pick this up tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"Sure!" Bakura grinned as he got to his feet and then put out his hand. "May I escort you?"  
  
"Of course." Ryou giggled as they walked to the ex-Tomb Robber's bedroom hand-in-hand.  
  
************************** *************************** **************  
  
This time he would show Malik that his plan would come to fruition...of course he had to stop for ice cream first! Yes! Ice cream was very important! Especially chocolate with sprinkles!  
  
Finishing the cone, Marik made his way toward the Kame Game shop. It was dark, there was no one around and the crazy blond thought this would be the perfect time to kidnap Yuugi first. After he got Yuugi, he would get Ryou! Oh yes! His Ryou bunny! They would be married and then maybe they could adopt Yuugi as their kid and be one happy family...maybe not...  
  
Skipping down the street, Marik came to a stop in front of the game shop. He took out his Millennium Rod...which incidentally, he was very proud of...and smashed in the glass door. So much for being quiet!  
  
Tip toeing in, Marik hid behind the couch as he heard foot steps running down the stairs. Of course someone would come down to investigate! After all, they had to protect their precious merchandise in the store.  
  
"Grandpa? Yami? Anyone there?" Yuugi walked in further. "Hello?"  
  
"Hello little Yuugi. Long time no see." The voice made Yuugi jump.  
  
"Marik!" The tri-haired teen gasped.  
  
"Yes! It is me! Do you want to know why I'm here?" Marik asked with a sadistic grin.  
  
"Not really." Yuugi stammered.  
  
"Aw Come on! Ask me why I'm here! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" Marik's eyes became wide and eager.  
  
"Ummmmmmmm...okay." Yuugi agreed. "Why are you here?"  
  
"Well, first I'm here to kidnap you and then I'm going to kidnap Ryou and marry him! He's cute like a bunny, don't you think?" Marik noticed Yuugi cringe. "Aw come on! It won't be that bad! All I'll do is make you a virgin sacrifice and then I'll sacrifice Ryou's virginity in the throws of passion."  
  
"Uh, I'm no longer a virgin." Yuugi pointed out.  
  
"WHAT???? YOU MEAN SOMEONE FUCKED YOU?!" Marik's eyes became wide as saucers.  
  
"YEAH!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT!!" Yuugi shouted back. "I'm not ugly, you prick!"  
  
"I mean, innocent little Yuugi...he's all grown up?" His bottom lip trembled.  
  
"Yeah? I'm 18 you know! I've grown? I can almost come up to your chin?" Yuugi reminded him.  
  
"I remember when you were smaller and 16 and you look so innocent..." He began to sniff. "And then I thought, I couldn't kill you or any forest animals, because you were all so innocent." He began to bawl like a baby. "BUT I CAN KILL THAT BLASTED PHARAOH!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!"  
  
"Oh brother." Yuugi groaned.  
  
"Oh well...I have to go then. I guess I'll have to beat the living snot out of Bakura to get to Ryou. The last time, Bakura beat the hell out of me. Wasn't a pleasant experience." Marik sighed. "Well, I guess next time I'll have to use you in some other insane plot. Say hi to Bambi and his mom for me." He walked out.  
  
"But Bambi's mother is dead..." Yuugi could feel the tears well up in his eyes as he began to cry.  
  
*********************** *************************** ****************** Two hours later...  
  
There would be no threesomes...No Ryou...no virgin to sacrifice...  
  
"YAMI!! You will never guess what happened!" Yuugi ran into the pharaoh and wrapped his arms around his waist.  
  
"What is it, Aibou." Yami asked.  
  
"Marik came here and he wanted to kidnap me. Because I wasn't a virgin anymore, he didn't want to be bothered, but he wants to kidnap Ryou and kill Bakura!" Yuugi cried.  
  
"He can kill Bakura, but I...I mean, we will not let him take Ryou if I have anything to say about it! Come on Yuugi, let's go stop him!" Yami took a firm grip on Yuugi's hand and led him out the door.  
  
"What about grandpa?" Yuugi asked.  
  
"Tell him to make reservations for the three at the Hilton!" Yami grinned evilly.  
  
TBC... 


	22. Ryou and Bakura's Lemon!

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you hate shonen-ai, have no sense of humor or are a die hard fan, this is not for you.  
  
TWENTY ONE  
  
Yawning, Bakura walked toward the front door. Whoever the maniac was knocking at eleven in the morning was going to have their nuts handed to them. He hated being pulled from Ryou. He needed to be cuddling with his little albino bunny.  
  
Opening the door, one eye cracked opened, he noticed a giant cake in his face. Oh! The wedding cake! Oh yes! Today would be lots and lots of fun!  
  
"Wedding cake for one Bakura Ryoo." The man said behind the cake.  
  
"That would be me." Bakura growled. "How much for the damage?"  
  
"One hundred aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand..." Bakura just handed him the money plus. "THANK YOU!!" The guy quickly left.  
  
"Heh. Works every time." He placed the cake on the dining room table.  
  
Bakura's mouth watered. It was not so much the cake that made his mouth water, it was what would be on the cake. Ryou plus cake equaled one hell of a good time! Oh yes! Nothing would be able to spoil this moment! Not even that blasted pharaoh! Bakura hoped the idiot would be crawling home to Yuugi now. The ankle biter probably would not be giving it to him for a while! Heh!  
  
"Bakura?" Ryou walked into the dining room with sleepy eyes. "Come back to bed." He pleaded as he yawned. "I'm really tired." Ryou noticed the wedding cake on the table. "Who's getting married?"  
  
Bakura walked toward his light and then slid his arms around that slender waist. Burying his face in Ryou's neck, he inhaled the sweet scent of his love and then sighed. If this was what life would be like, he accepted it with wide opened arms.  
  
"No one. Remember what I said I would do to you at your father's wedding?" Bakura's voice was muffled. "Well, I ordered the cake. You were there."  
  
"Uh, Bakura!" Ryou's eyes widened in shock. "I didn't think you would do this!"  
  
"Oh yes!" Bakura let go of his light. "I want you on that cake...now." He growled as he took off Ryou's robe in one stroke revealing his nude body. "Wow!" Was his reaction.  
  
"What! Am I that bad to look at?" Ryou asked trying to cover himself with his arms.  
  
"No! You look gooooooooooooooooooooood." Bakura smirked feeling his mouth water at the sight before him. "Come to papa!" He grabbed his little bunny and then sat him on the table next to the cake.  
  
************************* **************************** *************  
  
"So, as I was saying, I am from upper Domino and I just applied for internship at some really neat television station. Isn't that cool?" The girl asked boring Yami to death!  
  
Where did this dumb bitch come from? All she did was talk about herself and how great she was. Who cares! They didn't want to ask her out so why did she insist on sticking around. She just sat herself down in the booth while the two were trying to eat.  
  
"We're gay." Yami finally got a word in.  
  
"That's nice." She started as Yami smacked his head on the table, not rising again. "You know, I had a gay friend once and he gave me some great interior decorating tips! Do you guys know how to decorate an apartment?"  
  
"I'm color blind." Yami's voice was muffled by the table.  
  
"Really? I knew someone once who was color blind!" She started as Yami picked up his head and glared as hard as he could at the wench!  
  
If he glared anymore, maybe her head would explode! Heh! That was a nice thought. Where did she come from anyway? She had overshadowed everything they did so far and he was tired of it.  
  
"Anyway, here is my number and I will be seeing you guys more often so get to know me!" She gave Yuugi her number. "By the way, my name is Cassy!" That made Yami cringe.  
  
"Oh sure! Have a nice day!" Yuugi grinned waving as the pharaoh glared at the retreating form.  
  
"I hate original characters! They think they are more interesting than us!" Yami growled.  
  
"Aww! I thought she was nice!" Yuugi's eyes became bright.  
  
"You think Bakura on acid is nice! You think everything is nice! Can you for once think of something that isn't nice?" Yami criticized.  
  
"Me not giving you any tonight?" Yuugi emphasized.  
  
"It's nice that you think everything is nice!" Yami differed his opinion as Yuugi smiled wickedly.  
  
******************************* ********************** ****************  
  
Continuation of the Lemon....we'll torture the original character later!  
  
Cake had never tasted this good, wedding or otherwise. The skin underneath it never tasted so sweet. In fact, this was his very first taste of all time. Ryou was finally his, sitting on the table with cake all over his naked glory!  
  
Licking and sucking his way up to the albino's neck, Bakura kept his strong hands on Ryou's thighs. He would not let his bunny buck off the table in order to relieve his own tension. No! Bakura wanted to make this last as long as he himself could hold out. Of course, he had not gotten it in three thousand years. Tonight, he would take his time. Bakura would ruin Ryou for everyone else. No one else would be able to measure up.  
  
"Uh AH!! Bakura!" Ryou shouted as the demon began to suckle on one of his hard nubs.  
  
Poor little angel! There was more to come that would blow his mind! Bakura moved downwards again, eating the left over cake that he had missed. His tongue dipped into the navel that had some crème in it. Bakura heard his bunny moan in ecstasy as he neared closer to his prize. His hot breath brushed over Ryou's aching arousal as he purposely missed it in favor of tasting those luscious thighs!  
  
Oh, Bakura would get back to the real fun later, but first, he still wanted to torture his Ryou bunny. Licking up the crème with the cake on his light's thigh, Bakura began to lap his way up to the "creamy center". Oh yeah! Sooner or later there will be cream there!!  
  
Bakura just settled himself there, inhaling in his lover's scent. Ryou smelled so good and so fresh. Always clean, always smelling so nice... Bakura placed a chaste kiss on Ryou's stomach.  
  
Without further delay, Bakura just went for his prize. Enough teasing! Ryou was going to get it and get it good today! After this, there would be no going back. Their relationship would be so different...and yet soooooooooooooooo exciting!  
  
Running his tongue up Ryou's length, Bakura smiled to himself hearing that beautiful moan of his angel. He then took the beautiful length into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it. His bunny cried out. The albino would be doing more than that later.  
  
Of course, the torture would continue. There was no way Bakura was going to let Ryou cum yet. This would be only a small taste of what was to come later...or sooner considering how long he could hold out...NOT!!!  
  
****************** ********************** ******************  
  
Am I doing this on purpose? HELL YEAH!!!  
  
Cassy went to Kaiba Corp to introduce herself. Of course, she skipped by the security by throwing marshmallow peeps their way. The cute little pink chicks satisfied their sugar cravings (A moment of silence for the peeps...).  
  
Of course the dumb girl skipped up to the elevator. Pushing the button, she hummed an annoying tune enough to make Bakura scream! The elevator came to a stop at the lobby and the annoying girl walked in. Cassy felt she had to introduce herself to everyone who knew Yuugi. After all, she wanted to be known too!  
  
The elevator stopped at her desired destination. Cassy walked up, a grin upon her face as she just entered the double doors of Kaiba's office without knocking. Of course, she thought she was privileged...  
  
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!" Kaiba demanded as the stupid girl just sat down on the chair infront of his huge oak desk. "Who the hell let you in unannounced!"  
  
"I'm Cassy and I want to get to know every one of Yuugi's friends!" She grinned stupidly.  
  
"Who said I was his friend!" Seto exclaimed. "Just leave and never come back!" He demanded pointing toward the door.  
  
"Aw come on! I want to know everyone! We could have a lot fun! In fact, I'll tell you all about me!" She bounced cheerfully.  
  
"SECURITY!!" Kaiba shouted pressing a button.  
  
"Let me at least tell you about myself! You see, my name is Cassy and I am going to be an intern at a television station! Isn't that faboo?" She grinned stupidly. "I want to be an anchor woman eventually. You know, my pretty looks will get me in."  
  
"SECURITY!!!!" Kaiba shouted again.  
  
"I don't think they'll come. I gave them marshmallow peeps!" She got in his face making the CEO back away from her.  
  
"Tell me this isn't happening..." His voice trailed off. "Just tell me what you really want so I could be rid of you!"  
  
"I just wanna talk!" She whined as Kaiba lost his temper.  
  
"THAT'S IT!!!" He rushed toward the impetuous girl and then grabbed her by her collar. "I have had enough of you!" He dragged her toward the giant window. "I want you out NOW!!!" He opened it and then threw her down the many stories. "Good riddance!"  
  
The stupid girl fell all those stories and then bounced off a car. Falling on her feet, the girl walked away unscathed as Kaiba banged his head against the unbroken glass.  
  
************************* *********************************** *********  
  
"FUCK ME NOW!!! FUCK ME UNTIL I PASS OUT!!!" Shouted a very VERY frustrated Ryou as Bakura stilled with his eyes as a wide as saucers.  
  
Bakura guessed he was enjoying the cake a bit TOO much. He WAS hungry...poor frustrated bunny...heh!  
  
Bakura moved away from his frustrated albino. His lips hungrily devoured Ryou's, his strong hands grasping those milky white thighs. Slowly and gently, he pried them apart. A moan of need escaped from Ryou.  
  
Bakura stopped. Oh no...he had forgotten something very important!  
  
"SHIT!!" Bakura shouted as he looked around. "I forgot something!"  
  
"What did you forget?" Ryou asked as out of nowhere, a bottle appeared.  
  
It was a bottle of lotion. Bakura just blinked wondering where that came from. He took a hold of the small bottle and then popped the cap off. He wasn't going to ask where it came from. He was just glad it was there.  
  
"Nevermind." Bakura growled as he began the arduous process of preparation. "Raddammit! I hate this part! It ruins the moment!"  
  
************************ ***************************** *****************  
  
Caribbean music filled the air. Cassy has stepped into an abandoned warehouse. As she stepped in, her eyes widened in shock. There in the middle of the room was Marik at the head of the conga line with the Borg!  
  
"I'M FEELING HOT HOT HOT!!" Marik sang at the top of his lungs as they kept dancing around in a slow circle.  
  
Cassy slowly approached the demented Egyptian. She could not believe what she was seeing! What kind of people did Yuugi hang out with? Wasn't this one one of his friends?  
  
"Hello?" The conga line stopped dead as the music stopped also.  
  
Everyone looked at her. Marik wondered what this woman wanted! How dare she interrupt his good time! Just when he was getting the Borg to loosen up!  
  
"Okay everyone, take five! You still have a lot to learn how to loosen up!" Marik shouted at the small group of Borg. "Who the hell are you and why are you here!" He walked toward the annoying OC.  
  
"Hi! I'm Cassy and I want to get to know all of Yuugi's friends!" She beamed stupidly.  
  
"First, I am not Yuugi's friend, FOOL! Secondly, you are not going to leave here alive!" Marik threatened as he brandished his Millennium Rod. "You have three seconds before I lose my temper!"  
  
"Three seconds for what?" She asked.  
  
"TOO LATE!" With that, Cassy was no more.  
  
All may applaud as the original character has been killed!  
  
"Okay everyone! Let's assimilate the next verse!" Marik shouted as they started up the conga line again!  
  
******************* ************************* **************** ********  
  
Bakura coated his own length with the stuff. It was as if he were coating himself for a recipe! Ugh! He then proceeded to prepare his light, his fingers enjoying the torment he put Ryou through as hit those bundle of nerves. Hearing the albino cry out as he kept brushing against that spot made Bakura smile.  
  
"Oh GOD!!! Do that again!" Ryou cried out.  
  
"Of course I will, but finger fucking you wouldn't be much fun for me." Bakura pointed out as he stretched his lover to the max with his digits. "Be prepared my little one." He removed his fingers and then with a gentle thrust, entered his love.  
  
Ryou cried out as Bakura waited for him to adjust to the intrusion. Oh yes! This would be it and Ryou would be all his for eternity!  
  
Bakura began to thrust in more as Ryou cried out in pleasure. Their lips met again in a fevered passion. Bakura practically devoured his love with each thrust, his skilled fingers wrapping around Ryou's arousal, his thumb caressing the tip. He could feel the moisture pearl up at the slit.  
  
Bakura's thrusts became more intense as Ryou cried out, matching him thrust for thrust. The demon kept pumping his lover's arousal as he could feel his climax near. Ryou shouted out Bakura's name in ecstasy, his body arching beautifully as his orgasm covered not only his own stomach, but Bakura's hand. His lover came the next second, his seed filling his light. Bakura collapsed, exhausted on top of Ryou. The albino placed his arms around Bakura's neck, his hot breath brushing against his hair.  
  
"That...that was wonderful." Ryou breathed. "Thank you."  
  
"You're most welcomed." Bakura smirked. "Wanna do it again?"  
  
"Not now. I'm too tired." Ryou whined.  
  
Damn...  
  
TBC...  
  
Sorry this is late folks! Life got in the way and I was sick for a while. 


	23. Marriage Proposal and Cream Puffs

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you hate shonen-ai, live in Disney Land, have no sense of humor or are a die hard fan, this is not for you.  
  
CHAPTER  
TWENTY TWO  
  
Wow! What a night! Marik's limbs felt so sore after Conga lessons. The Borg Queen had thanked him, paid him nicely...hehehehe...and then left. Smoking the cigarette, Marik exhaled thinking of the new way of sex that he experienced. Whoa.  
  
Of course, the insane spirit craved Ryou! Oh yes...he forgot about the little minx, but just for the moment. He would marry Ryou and then take over the world! First, he would have to find Pinky...where the hell was he? That little mouse was always looking to romance horses for some reason. Insane really...  
  
Marik finished his cigarette on the last drag as he walked along the mountain side. He decided to take a walk in Europe of all places. All he had to do was teleport himself there and poof!  
  
As he neared the ocean, Marik noticed a blond woman in her teens looking out over the horizon. She seemed to be sad and the insane Egyptian wondered if he could comfort her...or send her to the Shadow Realm.  
  
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeerooooo!!! Come and KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" She suddenly shouted as Marik got closer.  
  
Kill her? Oh yes! That was an invitation if he ever heard one! Oh yesyesyesyes! Nearing the pathetic blond, he stepped behind her as he grasped her shoulders from behind.  
  
"I'll do it for you since this Heero guy hasn't shown up!" Marik grinned as Relena's eyes widened.  
  
"No! Don't do this! I didn't mean it..." She started.  
  
"Oh yes you did! Your heart is screaming for the release of this disease we call life! You will rest forever in eternal bliss and hopefully your soul won't get devoured!" He pushed her off the cliff as she screamed all the way down. "Her scream is like a symphony!" He laughed maniacally. "I wonder if Bakura could top this!"  
  
"Hey! Thanks for getting rid of her. She was compromising my missions!" A voice sounded behind Marik.  
  
"Oh, you're welcome, glad I could be of...." He turned around as his eyes got wide as saucers. "KAIBAAAAAAAA!!! KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBA KAIBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" He screamed on the way down from jumping off the cliff himself.  
  
"What's with him?" Duo asked as he and Heero looked down the cliff face.  
  
"I guess he thought I was someone else." Heero shook his head. "Let's go back to Quatre's. Hopefully he and Trowa aren't screwing in the living room again!"  
  
****************** ******************* *********************  
  
The sun broke through the dark curtains. The birds were singing their lovely melodies...if we could ever figure out WHAT they are. Then a sound of shoe hitting its intended target was heard as the bird stopped singing.  
  
"HEY BUDDY!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!!!" The bird shouted as a sleepy Bakura walked up to the window.  
  
"It's too fucking early! Go sing somewhere else or you'll become pheasant under glass!" He growled as the bird quickly took off. "Stupid good for nothing bird." He grumbled as he dragged himself back to the bed and into his bunny's embrace.  
  
"Bakura." A sleepy voice sounded. "What time is it?"  
  
"7am. Why?" Ryou quickly got out of bed and then ran to the bathroom. "School...fuck..." Bakura fell back to sleep.  
  
**************************** ********************** ******************  
  
Med school totally sucked at times. Ryou was so tired of dealing with the hypochondriacs that entered into the university's medical center. They were inventing things as they went along. One time Ryou had to explain to a man that there was no way humanly possible that he could be pregnant! The man, though, insisted he was and demanded that he take a pregnancy test. That made Ryou so mad, that he found a wind up rabbit and told him that if it died, he was pregnant. Of course the stupid man was still waiting.  
  
Today though was just lecture day. That was when all the students went into the auditorium and either listened or fell asleep. Most fell asleep, but Ryou listened intently. Of course, hearing half the stuff made him want to run to the restroom to throw up, but he knew he had to deal with this for the rest of his life. Sometimes the medical field could get really disgusting!  
  
Ryou was so happy that his father was helping to pay for his education since his good for nothing wife lost him his scholarship! Served her ass right! Of course, living with Bakura made things easier so he didn't have to face his father everyday...of course he loved Bakura.  
  
Last night was the most passion filled night he had ever experienced. Bakura was the most skilled lover he ever had...the only one he ever had. They had gone at it since morning and never stopped except when nature demanded it. Now Ryou felt a bit tired, but strangely energized. He wanted to experience that again...but just not all day...he had a hard time sitting as it was.  
  
"Boyfriend give it to you good last night?" A girl giggled beside him.  
  
Ryou just blushed. He was too obvious for his own good. The girl just smiled and then focused her attention back on the teacher. Of course there were so many girls in there with hentai thoughts. Sigh...  
  
***************** ************************ ********************* ******  
  
Yami watched Yuugi work behind the counter of his grandfather's shop. His other had dragged him back after finding out what he really wanted...a threesome! After Yuugi had literally kicked his ass around the block, the pharaoh learned quickly that bigamy was not the rage in this time.  
  
Yuugi did deserve better than that though. He was almost perfect in every way, except for his temper when he was tired. The duelist sat there studying while Yami stocked the display cases. Business was always slow until 5pm. That was when the little brats would come in with or without their parents demanding for new booster packs. Some of them tried to intimidate Yuugi, but the pharaoh always made sure to be there for him incase any of them got out of hand.  
  
"I can't stand this. What is the point in taking Math when I am not going to use it in life?" Yuugi sighed.  
  
"You haven't even decided what you wanted to be yet, so how could you complain?" Yami sighed. "Yuugi, are you going to go out there in the world, or are you going to stay here and run your grandfather's shop?"  
  
"I want to go out there, but I just don't know as what." Yuugi closed the book. "I always wondered where I fit in the grand scheme of things."  
  
"You'll fit out there somewhere. Whether it is in your grandfather's shop or somewhere else..." He trailed off.  
  
"What's wrong, Yami." Yuugi asked.  
  
"That reminds me of something." Yami started. "Where do I fit in the grand scheme of things? I mean, I know I was pharaoh and I know about my past, but where do I fit in?"  
  
Yuugi smiled, closed his books and then walked over to his other half who was still stocking the store. Wrapping his arms around his other, Yuugi became thoughtful.  
  
"Oh Yami, you fit in with me." Yuugi declared.  
  
'Oh great...' Yami thought to himself as he rolled his eyes.  
  
************************ ******************************* ************  
  
School came to an end for that day. After showering in the locker room, Ryou headed for the night club to spend the rest of his time with Bakura. Maybe he could earn some money doing the books. God knows the bookkeeping needed to be done.  
  
Walking inside, the music almost blasted his ear drums making the youth wince. The pulsating music vibrated throughout the club and the patrons were dancing their hearts out. The hired wenches were dancing in their steal cages and as usual, there was a crowd in the waiting room off to the side waiting to be "punished" by the Dominatrix.  
  
Ryou only nodded to the staff with a soft smile as he searched for his lover. Who knew what Bakura was up to? Reaching his main office, Ryou knocked, but it went unheard. Bakura was screaming at his bouncers. What had they done now?  
  
"How could you let those guys in here! Don't you remember what happened the last time they came into this club? They almost raped one of the dancers. I will not have them here again and if I see them here, you both will lose your jobs! Do I make myself clear!?" Bakura demanded.  
  
"Yes sir!" The two muscular men snapped to attention right away.  
  
"Good! Now get out of here!" The ex-Tomb Robber growled as they ran out lest they feel his wrath!  
  
Ryou wondered if it was a good time to face his other. He did not know what he would be in for. Nodding to the two bouncers, the albino slowly made his way in.  
  
"Bakura?" Ryou's soft voice broke the silence.  
  
"Not now, Ryou. I have too much work to do." Bakura's voice snapped. "Why don't you go home and relax."  
  
"I came here to work." His voice became timid.  
  
"There's no need to." Bakura stared at his desk. "I have an accountant doing that now." He looked up at Ryou, his eye lids ready to droop. "Ryou, just go home. I'll see you tonight."  
  
"But...I thought you were going to let me earn some spending money. What am I going to do?" Ryou asked almost in a panic.  
  
Bakura tensed. Why the hell was his other even worried about that? Ryou lived under his roof and the ex-thief didn't even need anything from him. Why was he so worried about that!  
  
"Ryou, understand me when I say this. I purposely hired someone so that you could devote your time to your school work. Being a doctor is a hell of a lot better than working as an accountant part-time in this dump. From what I understand, your studies are going to get more intense and you are going to have to spend hours on end at a teaching hospital. You cannot work. If you are worried about money for the bare necessities, I ain't hurting, so don't worry about that!" Bakura had to keep his temper under control. "Right now, I want you to go home and rest. I will see you later and we'll talk about this. Tell the cook to make you dinner and leave me some also in the fridge. Okay?"  
  
"Sure 'Kura." Ryou whispered as Bakura walked toward his love.  
  
Taking his other into his arms, Bakura hugged the lithe form against his body, inhaling the intoxicating scent of the albino. Gods, he wanted to take his bunny right there, but there was too much work to be done and too many heads to roll!  
  
"I love you. Always remember that." Bakura whispered.  
  
"I love you too." Ryou sighed.  
  
Their lips met in a chaste kiss. Bakura let his other reluctantly go smiling. There was no way in hell he could ever lose his temper with his love.  
  
******************* ************************* *****************  
  
After saying good bye to Bakura and a few of the dancers, Ryou began to walk home. A nap sounded good about now. His eyes were drooping like Bakura's were. They both needed to take some time out for themselves.  
  
Bakura was right. His medical career would demand more of his time. It would all pay off in the end though. Then he and his other could enjoy life more.  
  
"Cream puffs! Get your cream puffs!" A voice shouted as Ryou stopped walking.  
  
Cream puffs! Lovely, delicious cream puffs! Soft little pastries filled with cream with a nice sugar coating! They were his weakness. Yes! He had to have one! He must fill that cream puff craving!  
  
Ryou ran across the street toward the cream puff stand. Stopping in front of the beloved cart, Ryou dug around for money in his pocket.  
  
"Hello little boy! Would you like a nice delicious cream puff?" The voice asked too sickingly sweet.  
  
"Oh yesyesyes!" Ryou's eyes became wide and a wide smile came to his face. "One please!"  
  
"Here you go!" The voice answered as Ryou found himself handcuffed.  
  
"What?" The albino was broken out of his cream puff trance. "What's going on?"  
  
"I did it! I actually did it and it was so easy!" Marik ranted as he threw down his cap. "I won! Do you hear me Bakura!! I won! MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Ryou sweat dropped at the embarrassing display.  
  
"Marik. What do you want? I need to go home and study. I have no time for this!" Ryou growled. "WHERE THE HELL IS MY CREAM PUFF YOU DEMENTED MANIAC!!!"  
  
"There are no cream puffs my dear Ryou-bunny, but there will be plenty where we will be going!" Marik smiled.  
  
"What do you mean!" He demanded.  
  
"Please marry me!!! Pleaseplease please please please!" Marik practically begged.  
  
"No! Why would I want to marry you? I'm with Bakura!" Ryou pointed out.  
  
"So?" The psycho blond continued. "I could make you much happier! IcouldIcouldIcoud!" Marik protested like a child. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"  
  
"Marik, let me go. I'm not interested." Ryou sighed. "I need to get home."  
  
"Let me show you how much I want you! Please! I even named our unborn children!" Marik's clasped his hands together and his eyes were chibi wide. "They will be so cute and we'll have 20!"  
  
"I CAN'T GET PREGNANT YOU IDIOT!!" Ryou shouted as Marik threw him over his shoulder and then ran off leaving the cream puff stand behind. "BAKURAAAAAAA!!" Ryou screamed.  
  
Someone walked up to the stand. They had walked for miles and they were very hungry. The poor business man looked around wondering where the vendor had gone off to.  
  
"Hello? Anyone there? I need a cream puff! You know? The cream puff with the creamy center? The creamy creamy center? With the sugar coating that I oh so love? COME AND GIVE ME MY CREAM PUFF!!" The man shouted insanely as he ran around in circles.  
  
TBC... 


	24. The Last Virgin is Ryou!

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a serious fan, have no sense of humor or hate Shonen-ai, this is not for you.  
  
CHAPTER 23  
  
Bakura yawned as he slipped the key into the door lock. In a few minutes he would see his Ryou bunny and they would snuggle and who knows what else all night. He would first have to make it up to the albino big time for being a bit rude in the club toward him. Bakura felt he should have not taken his frustration out on the one he loved.  
  
The house was quiet. Bakura only heard the sound of someone cooking come from the kitchen. He wondered if Ryou was there or the cook. To his disappointment, it was only the cook. Nodding to his help, Bakura walked out of the kitchen to his office.  
  
Walking into his small office, Bakura noticed a piece of folded paper with his name on it. Picking it up, the demon wondered if it was a love note...of course, he didn't think that...oh no! His eyes widened as he unfolded the paper.  
  
Dear Bakura:  
  
Hi! How are you! I'm fine! Do you know that the psychiatrist I sent to the Shadow Realm said I was certifiably insane? I knew that! I just needed someone to tell me!  
  
I'm getting off topic here. I have your Ryou and he's as cuddly as a bunny! I love his snowy white hair and the way he swats my hand away as I run my fingers through it. Too bad you took his virginity! Now I can't be the first on our wedding night!  
  
Let me tell you about the wedding! I have a dress all picked out for Ryou-kins! It's so pretty, but it's off white. Too bad. He would have looked great in a pure white wedding dress. You're invited of course to witness the blessed event. There will be food and fun and booze after! Oh, and please bring some wenches with you? We'll need entertainment!  
  
See you soon and oh...I have Ryou by the way if you haven't all ready figured that out! I am going to go and get myself some shots and a flea dip! See ya!  
  
Love and Kisses,  
  
Marik  
  
Bakura's eye twitched in annoyance. Marik had Ryou and he was going to force his poor love to marry him! Ugh! Oh he would be there all right! Bakura would be there to slit his throat and possibly his manhood off not necessarily in that order! Ryou was HIS AND ONLY HIS!!! NO ONE TOUCHED HIS BUNNY!!!  
  
"I am not putting this on!" Ryou protested as Marik tried to get the albino to wear a white wedding dress.  
  
"But you would look so pretty in it!" Marik pouted.  
  
"I AM NOT WEARING A WEDDING DRESS!!" Ryou shouted making the insane one back away.  
  
"Okay! I'll take it back." Marik slowly took the dress away and then ran out of the room.  
  
Ryou sat down on the bed in total disgust. The insane idiot wanted to please Ryou, but the albino wished he would stop. He wanted Bakura, not Marik.  
  
"Psssssst!!" Ryou heard someone, but looking around, he couldn't see anyone. "Look over by the door!" There he saw...  
  
"Malik?" Ryou questioned noticing the transparent boy. "What are you doing here!"  
  
"Look, I wanted to warn you about Marik..." He started.  
  
"It's a little too late, don't you think! I NEED BAKURA RIGHT NOW!!!" Ryou thundered.  
  
"Why?" Malik asked.  
  
"So he can beat that psychotic son of a bitch up!" Ryou seethed. "Really now! I can get a better wedding dress across town!" Malik sweat dropped at that remark.  
  
"And then we'll go to Cairo, and then we'll go along the Nile and then..." At this point, Yami tuned Yuugi out.  
  
'All this just to have two weeks of wild sex...I will resist killing myself from listening to his babble...I will resist...' He kept chanting over and over to himself.  
  
Now it wasn't that Yami fell out of love with his light, he just wished Yuugi would take a breath or at least calm down. It was then he felt some disturbance in the Shadow Realm. Closing his eyes, he mentally went the dark realm to find out what the source was. There, in the distance was Marik talking to the Judge...that ugly mother-fucking judge man! UGH!!! What the hell did he want with that monster? Was he that drunk and desperate?  
  
"MARIK!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!" Yami demanded.  
  
"Oh Yamikins! I'm marrying Ryou! You're invited to the wedding you know! We're going have so much fun and a lot of stuff is going to happen there! I was going to originally kidnap your light, Ryou and Mokuba, but I chose Ryou because he's cute like a bunny!" He clapped his hands together, his eyes growing large like a psycho.  
  
"You are seriously twisted, you know that?" Yami asked.  
  
"Of course! My psychiatrist told me so before I sent him here, right?" Marik asked as a man appeared next to him.  
  
"Yes. I found him to have a severe personality disorder followed with extreme psychotic behavior. He also believes that he will rule the world some day." The psychiatrist said in a bored tone. "Do you know how many patients I come across like this?" He asked as Marik made him go away.  
  
"Bye bye!" Marik waved enthusiastically. "I love to rule the world some day part! It just makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over."  
  
"Riiiiiiiiight." Yami raised a brow. "So what is with the judge man here?"  
  
"Well, I am going to have him marry Ryou and I. It's going to be perfect!" Marik jumped up and down for joy. "I picture all my stuffed animals being at the wedding along with the people I invited. I want Yuugi to be the ring bearer and I'll have to kidnap some bride's maids. Hee hee! And then I'm going to watch as Bakura cries over the loss of his bunny!"  
  
"Oooookay." Yami agreed. 'More like Bakura is going to gut you when he gets there.' He thought to himself. "I have to go...I think Yuugi's calling me." He vanished opening his eyes only to hear his other going on down the list of things they would need for their vacation. 'If I sent Yuugi to the Shadow Realm, would anyone miss him?' He mentally sighed.  
  
Ryou had snuck around where ever he was. Of course he did not know where he was to begin with, but he wanted to get away and get back to Bakura. He was sure that the other was going out of his mind with worry.  
  
Ryou kept walking until he found a room labeled "plot holes". His eyes widened as he opened the door quietly. In there sat a writer looking over the script. Looking up at Ryou, said writer smiled and waved the youth in.  
  
"Would you believe this! I mean, first you, Yuugi and Mokuba were suppose to be virgin sacrifices. Then Marik kidnaps Mokuba, Yuugi then loses his virginity..." The writer started as Ryou's left eye twitched.  
  
"You mean to tell me, he got laid before I did??? I AM THE CUTE ONE!!! I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN LAID FIRST!!"  
  
"Well of course, but we wanted something very special for you." The writer emphasized.  
  
"I was the last one to get laid? I WAS THE LAST VIRGIN IN THIS STORY!!!?" Ryou thundered.  
  
"Well, if it's any consolation, Anzu's still a virgin!" The writer smiled.  
  
"WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO DO HER!!!!" Ryou shouted. "I can't believe you made me torture Bakura for 20 or so chapters while Yuugi got laid sooner! INJUSTICE!!!"  
  
"Did someone say injustice?" Wufei popped into the room.  
  
"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE JUSTICE FREAK!!!" Ryou shouted in seething anger. "TELL HEERO AND DUO I'M NOT INTERESTED IN A THREESOME EITHER FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME!!! STOP LEAVING MESSAGES ON MY MACHINE OR I WILL SEND BAKURA AFTER THEM!!"  
  
"Uuuuh! I'm out of here!" Wufei ran out of the room.  
  
Ryou then proceeds to tie up the said writer to the chair only leaving the arms free and the computer glowing.  
  
"Start writing! I have to go see where Marik is!" Ryou stormed out slamming the door shut.  
  
"Yeesh! He needs Midol!" The writer shook their head.  
  
Leaving the "plot holes" room, Ryou ran smack into Marik. The albino looked up with wide brown eyes and then backed away. A pout came to the insane one's face.  
  
"Why are you running away? Don't you looooooooooove me?" Marik asked, eyes wide as saucers as tears began to form.  
  
"NO YOU PSYCHOTIC JERK!!! I DON'T LOVE YOU!!" Ryou shouted not really caring if he hurt the psycho blonde's feelings! "I love Bakura! Why can't you find someone else for crying out loud?!"  
  
"Like who!" He demanded.  
  
"How about your other self! You know, Malik? I am sure he would be better suited to you then I would!" Ryou crossed his arms over his chest, tapping his foot impatiently...the more he could convince Marik that someone else was better for him, the sooner he could leave!  
  
"Oooooooooooooooooo!!" Marik clasped his hands together like an idiot. "I forgot about him! He does look like a bunny in a sort of vicious twisted cute way! We are both alike! We both are the same person! We both like killing people! I'm the only one who likes seeing his sister naked though! Oh well! We can work that one out!" He grins. "Oh by the way, you can leave! Tell Bakuchan I say hi!" He merrily skipped away. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOH MALIK!!" He shouted.  
  
Oh God! He felt sorry for Malik! Maybe the Egyptian could tame the idiot or at least convince him to get a lobotomy! With that last thought, Ryou ran for an exit!  
  
TBC...  
  
Sorry for the delay in updating. I've been busy with work and life! Plus, I am writing a serious fic...well...as serious as it can get! ;) 


	25. Sex Toys and Final Plot Devices

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a serious fan, have no sense of humor or hate Shonen-ai, this is not for you. If you hate people lampooning the upcoming movie, too bad. I would rather see Bakura and Atemu in a knife fight for 90 minutes with Marik refereeing and occasionally throwing banana peels at them!  
  
TWENTY FOUR  
  
Checking his arsenal of knives, Bakura managed to somehow hide them all on his person before approaching the door. Oh yes! Marik would experience many forms of death before he got his Ryou back!  
  
Approaching the door, he opened it to reveal a very...very...unusual...person...oh shit! Who the hell was the Bison Reject with the Ho?  
  
"What the fuck do you want! I have to get my Ryou bunny!" Bakura yelled at the stranger.  
  
"I AM ANUBIS!!! I AM HERE TO GET MY REVENGE ON THE PHARAOH!!" The man boomed as Bakura's eye twitched.  
  
"Take a number you asshole! I'm first! I have more of a right to kick his ass than you do!" Bakura barked back.  
  
"I want you to join me and my army of evil as we crush the pharaoh in a duel!" Anubis crossed his arms over his massive chest.  
  
"Why don't you just duke it or something you jerkoff! Dueling is so stupid! A good ol' fashioned knife fight...now that's revenge!" Bakura grinned deviously.  
  
"I have the eighth Millennium Item on me! I won't hesitate to use it!" Bakura's grin fell.  
  
"Are you listening to anything I'm saying?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Would you like to see my item?" The man asked.  
  
"Would you like to see MY ITEM?" Bakura growled. "It ain't no Millennium Item and you might get scared when it squirts!"  
  
"Who are you?" Anubis asked as Bakura sighed.  
  
"Listen you over bound muscled freak! You ain't no cannon character in the main stream story and you are just around for ratings so why don't you just take a fucking hike and go nail your bitch ho somewhere!" Bakura growled. "And fuck her with the Eight Millennium Item while you're at it! What is it anyway! A vibrator or a tampon!"  
  
"Uh, I don't know." Anubis looked confused. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'M BAKURA, YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!!! I am the King of Thieves and if you don't get outta my way, you're going to lose your ITEM in a few minutes and it ain't the Millennium Item either!" Bakura growled as Ryou appeared.  
  
"HI BAKURAAAAAAAAA!!!" Ryou glomped on to the white haired demon.  
  
"A BUNNY!!!" The girl squealed as Ryou cringed....  
  
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Ryou: KURA!!!! DO IT AGAIN!!!!! HARDER!!!! OH MY RA!!!!  
  
Marik: Where is tab B?  
  
Yuugi: What are sex toys?  
  
Disclaimer: Sorry, but seeing Yuugi in any throes of passions is just plain wrong to us! We feel the same about Hobbits!  
  
Disclaimer 2: We are not responsible for any items sending people to the Shadow Realm...ie. Millennium Pocket Rocket! Do not operate with heavy machinery...ie...don't fuck yourself while driving, that includes you, Marik!! (Marik-Hey!)  
  
Disclaimer 3: Please send all orders with cash or money orders OR ELSE!!  
  
Bakura was too happy to have his Ryou bunny back. They walked toward their home down the narrow streets of Domino.  
  
"So I convinced Marik that Malik was better for him. He agreed, called off the wedding and let me go." Ryou chattered happily.  
  
"Good! I was not looking forward to having to clean my knife collection tonight!" Bakura snorted as he thought. 'I would miss a night of hot bunny sex with Ryou!' A devious smile crept across his face.  
  
"So, what do you want to do tonight, Bakura?" Ryou asked, his big green eyes lighting with mirth.  
  
"I have plans, my dear bunny. Lots of plans." The ex-Tomb Robber pulled Ryou close to him.  
  
"Really? What are they?" Ryou asked.  
  
"You and lots of food." Bakura answered as the albino raised a brow.  
  
"Oh Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalik!" Marik found his other half still trapped in one of those pyramid casings. "Guess what! I had a revelation!"  
  
"Oh really? Did you figure out you're insane?" Malik snorted as he crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
"No! Better than that!" Marik's eyes became big as he jumped up and down for joy.  
  
"What could be better than you discovering that you're nuttier than a fruit cake!" Malik growled.  
  
"Well you see, I was going to originally have virgin sacrifices, but that didn't work out. Then, I was going to marry Ryou and guess what!" He exclaimed.  
  
"For the love of Ra, WHAT!!!!" Malik became impatient at this point.  
  
"We had a long talk, about five minutes long. That's long enough for me, you know? Anyway, the bunny proclaimed that he loved Bakura and that he would never love me. I was depressed for about five seconds, but then he stated that you would be better suited to me because..." Marik didn't finish.  
  
"Because?" Malik tried to fish out the answer.  
  
"GUESS!! GUESS!!" Marik acted like an idiot again.  
  
"No! I'm not in the mood for this! I have been stuck in this stupid thing for the last twenty something chapters, so the least you could do is TELL ME WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN, YOU IDIOT!!!" Malik felt a vein popping out of his forehead.  
  
"Because you and I are two halves of a whole. Soul mates!!! Ain't it beautiful!!" The maniac hopped up and down again.  
  
"I'm going to kill the little shit when I see him again!" Malik growled under his breath. "It ain't beautiful! You're an idiot! I would never want you!"  
  
"You would learn to love me!! I'll do everything a good little partner does! I'll clean, I'll cook..." Marik ranted off as Malik banged his head against the glass pyramid hoping he would become unconscious.  
  
Yami finally did it... No, he didn't send Yuugi to the Shadow Realm. His grandfather would never forgive him for that one! No! He just wore the little shit out with hot wild passionate sex. Who knew the karma sutra would be so exhausting if one was not fit to do it?  
  
Now he was able to do what he wanted for a while and cool off from his built up anger towards his other. Oh yes! Now the pharaoh would pursue a more worthy game...Seto Kaiba!!! He had called the CEO and challenged him to a duel. Of course the winner would fuck the other, so who would really lose? Heh!  
  
"...I'll even turn the bed for you! And then we'll have hot wild passionate sex every night." Marik counted off as Malik was passed out in the pyramid. "Malik? Malik? Are you alive? OH NO!!! IT'S LIKE THE GOLDFISH!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"  
  
Walking into Bakura's home, Ryou had gone straight to bed. The ex- Tomb Robber walked toward the answering machine noticing that one message was on it. Of course, he pressed the button hoping that Belladonna's angry voice was not at the other end.  
  
"Hello Bakura! This is the author of this story! We have to end this story now so we can put you in a new one called: Insane Wars, the Truce At Bakura!" The message made his right eye twitch. "Yes! Ryou will be in it and he'll be your loooooooooooooove interest once again! Have a nice night!" The message turned off.  
  
"Another story? I have to appear in another fucking story? I want more chapters of me screwing Ryou, not some other half ass plot story!" Bakura ranted.  
  
The machine came back on. "You get to kill people!"  
  
"I'll do it!" Bakura exclaimed.  
  
THE END FOR NOW!!!  
  
I am poking fun of Star Wars: The Truce at Bakura. Every time I look for Bakura stuff on Ebay, that comes up. I have no idea what it is about, but once again, every book to comic book will be made fun of!  
  
Summary: Once upon a time planet Isis was a peaceful planet ruled by a peaceful King and his beautiful perfect Queen. One day, they had a son and the whole planet was happy. Sixteen years later, that peace was shattered when Bakura, Marik, Malik and their band of space pirates raided the planet, killed every single person and then kidnapped the beautiful prince Ryou. Ever since then, Bakura had ruled the planet with the prince as his slave of sorts, and had other factions come to the planet to settle their differences, but not as you would expect...  
  
Thanks to all of you who read Marik's Insane plot and reviewed it. I appreciate it! ( 


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